fireworks • Sugawara koushi

05

๋࣭ ࣪ ˖❇ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ˖

It had been over a month since she last visited the hospital.

A sense of longing had filled her nights.

The days passed torturously slow. Half hearted distractions not enough to fill the void in her life that had formed. She lay awake in bed, stirring at the faint sunlight that had begun to spread into her otherwise dark room. The sun was finally rising. She turned to look out of her window, giving up on her feeble attempts at sleep.

She thought seeing him would be easier after what happened last time. It only seemed to encourage her to keep her distance. She thought she was protecting herself.

It'll hurt when he's gone.

She said it over and over in her mind as she watched the sun fade higher into the sky, a soft orange taking over the darkness seen before. She watched as the world moved on without her.

The girl remembered the warmth of his smile. It seemed that was the only thing she remembered as it played in her mind, as if stuck on loop.

It'll hurt when he's gone.

She murmured quietly to herself, the image vivid in her head.

She fell back asleep.

When the girl woke it was almost time for the sun to go away again. She was surprised at how much she had slept, the day almost slipping away from her grasp. She looked out to her window for the second time, the same orange from the morning was back, the faint glow drifting across her backyard and coating it in a warm embrace.

She hung her head into her hands, cradling it between her fingertips.

"It's not fair." She whispered quietly, raising her head.

Life is horrible and dreadful and whole heartedly ugly.

It felt weird to think so, as she stared at the beautiful scene in front of her.

With a sigh she got out of bed. Her feet betraying her as they walked through the same routine they did a month ago. She had ran through the routine multiple times in her head on nights she couldn't sleep, fatigue clouding any better senses.

It felt all too right to be out, walking towards him.

Unlike last time, when she visited out of sheer panic, she took her time approaching the hospital doors.

She took a deep breath before her hand pulled, savouring the sweet smell of summer one last time before it was over taken by a fit of chemicals and sorrow. She closed her eyes for a second, the dark from her eyelids giving her a slight rest from the bright florescent lights.

It seemed busier lately, nurses dressed in scrubs passing by her as she walked to the place and the boy that consumed her thoughts.

Standing outside of his door, the girl listened as a familiar voice drifted from his room.

"I don't know what to tell you, Suga." It was the teams captain.

"Please Daichi."

"She's not here, you have to accept that."

Sugawara's voice seemed small, practically drowned out by the rhythmic beeping. "I want her."

The girl instantly froze in place, any thoughts fleeting her mind like the color from her face. Some day she had picked to visit.

She unstuck her feet from where they stood on the floor, turning around to leave when the door to his room opened.

Daichi uttered her name, his voice laced with shock. The girl turned to face him, his face clearly showing the surprise he felt on the inside. But when she peeked into the room, it was Sugawaras expression that crushed her heart.