Do Me a Favour - Alex Turner

35. Drunken Mistake

We found a pub not too far from the venue. It was dimly lit, with a cozy, lived-in feel. Perfect for losing oneself in a pint or two. As soon as we walked in, I headed straight for the bar, ordering a whiskey on the rocks. The others joined me, filling the bar stools beside me.

As I took my first sip, the warmth of the whiskey spread through me, and I felt a slight release of the tension I'd been carrying all day. I glanced around the pub, my eyes landing on the familiar faces of my bandmates and friends, but also noticing a few unfamiliar ones, lost in their own conversations and drinks.

Miles and Lana were sitting at a table nearby, talking and laughing. I watched them for a moment, a pang of jealousy and regret twisting in my gut. I tore my eyes away and took another long sip of my drink.

Matt sat down next to me, nursing his beer. "You alright, man?" he asked, his voice low and concerned.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Instead, I downed the rest of my whiskey and signaled the bartender for another. I needed the numbness, the escape that only a few more drinks could provide. I needed to forget, even if just for a little while.

As the night went on, the pub filled with laughter and conversation, but I stayed mostly silent, lost in my thoughts and the bottom of my glass. Each drink made it easier to push away the confusion and hurt, replacing them with a dull, manageable buzz.

I looked over at Lana and Miles again, and for a brief moment, our eyes met. She quickly looked away, and I could see the guilt and confusion in her expression. I knew I had to talk to her eventually, but tonight wasn't the night. Tonight, I just needed to drown my sorrows and try to forget how complicated everything had become.

*

A little later I noticed Lana at the bar, downing drinks just as fast as I was. Each time she tipped her glass back, I felt a pang of something I couldn't quite name—guilt, maybe, or recognition. The pub was a blur of laughter and movement, but all I could focus on was her, and how much she seemed to be hurting.

I stumbled outside, the night air hitting me like a wall. My hands fumbled with the cigarette, the lighter's flame dancing unsteadily in the breeze. I finally managed to light it, taking a long drag, hoping the nicotine would calm my swirling thoughts.

A moment later, Lana stumbled out behind me. She was clearly drunk, her steps unsteady and her words slurred. She started talking, her voice a mix of frustration and sorrow. I tried to focus, but it was hard. Her words were like a jumbled mess in my brain.

"I shouldn't have... It was a mistake," she kept saying, over and over, her voice breaking. I leaned against the wall, taking another drag from my cigarette, trying to process what she was saying. She seemed to be talking to herself as much as to me.

Then, her words cut through the haze. "It felt so good... I wanna do it again."

My heart skipped a beat, and I turned to face her fully. She looked at me with a mixture of desperation and confusion. The cigarette fell from my fingers, forgotten.

"Lana, what are you saying?" I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.

She stepped closer, her eyes glassy but intense. "I know it's wrong, Alex, but I can't help it. Last night... it felt right."

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. The memory of our kiss, her lips on mine, it all came rushing back. I knew it was wrong, but God, it had felt so right. The weight of it, the longing, everything.

"Lana, we can't..." I started, but she cut me off, her hand reaching out to touch my arm.

"I know," she said, her voice softer now, almost pleading. "I know we can't, but I don't know how to stop feeling this way."