Our musical / Satosugu

-17-

TW FOR MENTIONS OF DRUGS

Song rec – unter meiner haut by gestört aber geil & Koby funk

As morning arrived, both boys needed to get up eventually, going over their morning routine before actually leaving the dorm. When they did though, Satoru fell a bit behind as they walked, not motivated to go to his boring lessons at all.  As soon as Suguru reminded him that they had music later on Satoru eased up and his usual happy face was back to it's old form, not frowning anymore. That's what he came to japan for in the first place, singing, performing, going to concerts of small bands and yet, he hadn't seen a singular one for as long as he had stayed here. Sure, uni was busy but it wasn't all too hard for him, he had plenty of time and yet he didn't mind putting it at the long end. For some reason Suguru made time pass really easily, without noticing how much had passe in the first place. So they went, Satoru subconsciously drifting off into his thoughts, not noticing Mahito bumping into Suguru.
„watch it little boy"
He said through his usual sinister smile, leaning close to Sugurus face, making him clearly uncomfortable. Satoru snapped out of his thoughts and grabbed Mahito by his shoulder, not so gently, pushing him away.
„you watch it asshole"
He said and looked him down in disgust. Mahito brushed his shoulder as if wiping away some dirt, returning Satorus gesture. Satoru wasn't fazed though and sighed, turning to Suguru, who had taken a step back.
„you go I'll handle this"
Yet the raven haired had no intention to leave, not wanting to let Satoru deal with him on his own and also not wanting to fear some weird consequences from Mahito if he left, knowing it would probably result him in hurting himself again and Suguru could definitely not handle that right now. That didn't go unnoticed by Satoru and he sighed, unsure of what exactly had happened between them for Suguru to grow this anxious around Mahito. Sure he was an asshhole but what was it? What could he not protect his friend from? Should he ask? Try to make him open up? But what if he closed off completely?
Silence hung in the air as the both of them where unsure what to do until Mahito started to chuckle.
„cat got your tongue?"
He asked with a knowing smirk, Suguru tensing up bad as a shiver ran down his spine. That's what he said whenever Mahito found him, having relapsed again, whenever he had tried to get away from him and Mahito started questioning him like crazy and he was unable to answer. Such a meaningless question to Satoru and yet it was so hard for Suguru not to get anxious. Satoru had no clue of what was going on but he knew how uncomfortable Suguru was feeling so he gently held him by his wrist, tugging him along to go past Mahito.
Said man quickly grew unsatisfied and his weird smile which even seemed a bit scary, vanished.
„You'll be hearing from me Sugru"
But Satoru was quick to pull the raven haired away from the scene,both left uncomfortable while Mahito went on with his day, probably going to sniff something that was certainly no fresh air.
Wordlessly they went into their morning class. Only when Satoru passed Suguru a note was when he showed a reaction, clearly shaken and perhaps scared by Mahito.
„What made you so afraid?"
Satoru finally managed to ask on paper, unable to ask him directly, although he knew it was probably uncomfortable to write about it in a lesson, then again neither of them was concentrating in the first place.
„I'm not afraid don't worry"
Suguru passed him the note again. Satoru had seen his hands trembling though, his words on the paper looked a bit shaken and he just let it slide for now, what where the chances of getting anything out of him now in the lesson anyway?
Satoru was bothered by it though, seeing his friend so upset hurt him. Was he selfish for thinking about how it hurt him instead of thinking about Sugurus pain? What he must feel, Satoru wondered.
Why?
And he didn't even notice how dumb his own thoughts were, how could he be selfish if he was worried, feeling pained by sugurus troubles that plagued him. He didn't question why he felt the way he did and yet he was so selfless, if anyone knew, they'd shake him and ask what was wrong with him.

The lessons went by eventually, for Satoru too fast as his thoughts got interrupted by Suguru tugging at his sleeve wordlessly. So out of character. Satoru thought and quickly grabbed his things to follow along. Suguru felt like this lesson had dragged on forever, thinking about what he should tell Satoru when he asked in their dorm, the same question he had asked on the paper. Why was he so afraid after the encounter with Mahito. His anxiousness grew and he sighed out shakily. What if he ended up being the same as Mahito? His mind kept doubting his friend when his heart wanted to pour it all out, tell him all about what had happened. But he was afraid, the doubts louder than his heart. He always had put his wants and needs aside for Mahito, so now it had left him traumatised and afraid, anxious to give into his own desires of all sorts.
So when Satoru took his hand he jumped and snapped out of his thoughts, his eyes glassy which he hadn't even noticed , but seemingly Satoru did.
„Let's go"
Was all he said and pulled the raven haired along with him, out the lecturing room and out of the building, eventually landing outside in the park near the school.
Satorus heart was pounding for some unknown reasons. He kept Sugurus hand in his and let his thumb run over the back of it gently, his touch light as he was afraid to make him uncomfortable when all he wanted was to ease his mind, Sugurus unknowingly hurting soul.
Suguru was hyperaware of the warmth that radiated off of Satorus hand, his own cold and slightly sweaty from nervousness. All he wanted to do was either rot in bed or play the piano and cry. This felt utterly humiliating to him. Being someone that barely got any comfort in the past wasn't easy and he had no idea how to act, what to do.
Suddenly both of them felt at ease as they sat down on a bench in silence, their hearts both racing and yet they felt comfortable, no one saying anything. Suguru was waiting for Satoru to say something first, his gaze lingering on him for longer than it probably should. Satoru had long noticed his gaze and didn't mind. He wanted to say something, ask what happened, ask for what made him this uncomfortable and scared. Not a single word went over his lips as he held his breath whenever he took one in to speak.

This Chapter is rather short and not much happened BUT I'M FINALLY BACK!!!!!! I GOT A KEYBOARD FOR MY IPAD AND MY EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!! No for real I'm sorry for how long i was gone. I didn't need this long of a break but it really helped me get my shit together. I still have to check how much time actually passed but ist been a few months i think and a few things happened. Maybe i should write about my life it would be hella interesting can't lie. y'all interested? ANYWAY summerbreak is almost over for me - sad - and i apologise for not having updated this story.

i've read a few books the past five weeks and i hope perhaps it'll help me express what i want to write better😸