ESHMA

Chapter 35

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"Anxiety and depression are like two wolves that roam around, seeking to devour the sheep of faith, but the sheep that's aware will protect itself"

[Abu Hiraira].

Betrayal cuts deeper than any sword, and the wounds inflicted by loved ones hurt more than any physical pain. When those who once held your heart join forces with your enemies to bring you down, the agony is unbearable. Losing loved ones when you need them most leaves only bitter memories, a constant reminder of the pain they left behind.

I'm drowning in a sea of despair, suffocating under the weight of depression. The pitiful looks from others only add salt to my wounds. My family's concern feels like a burden, their attempts to help a constant reminder of my failures. I yearn for solitude, an escape from this cruel world that seems determined to crush me.

The faces of therapists haunt me, their empty words and artificial smiles a painful reminder of my struggles. And now, I'm trapped in a vicious cycle of addiction, thanks to the betrayal of my so-called best friend and boyfriend. The nightmare worsens with each passing day, the only escape seeming to be the harmful pills that threaten to destroy my body and soul.

I'm consumed by guilt for pushing away those who care, but I can't help myself. The pain is too much to bear, the memories too haunting to confront. I'm lost in a darkness that seems to have no end, searching for a glimmer of hope to guide me back to the light.

Confined to my room, a prisoner of my own mind, I'm lost in a sea of thoughts that refuse to subside. The pain of betrayal and heartache lingers, a constant reminder of the darkness that has consumed me. I'm trapped in a never-ending cycle of despair, unable to escape the memories that haunt me.

Despite my efforts to shake off the gloom, I'm unable to find my way back to the light. My mind is a battlefield, with thoughts of sadness and anger waging war against my sanity. I'm drowning in a ocean of tears, with no lifeline in sight.

Time stands still, as I stare blankly into space, my eyes fixed on a horizon that seems to be fading away. My heart is heavy, weighed down by the chains of depression that refuse to let go. I'm a shadow of my former self, a mere specter of the person I once was.

I'm falling deeper into the abyss, with each passing day, the darkness closing in around me like a shroud. My soul is crying out for help, but my voice is silenced by the fear of being heard. I'm lost in a labyrinth of my own mind, with no escape from the pain that haunts me.

As I sat lost in thought, the door creaked open and Iman sat beside me, her gentle touch a comforting balm to my soul. She held my hand, her eyes filled with empathy, and whispered words of sagacity

"Eshma, you don't have to carry this burden alone. Unload your heart, let your emotions flow, and trust in Allah's plan. We may not understand what you're going through, but Allah knows every detail, every tear, every sigh. Tawakkal, Eshma, tawakkal,"she repeated, her voice a soothing.

"Have faith that Allah will turn your sorrow into joy, your pain into gain. Remember, every dark night is followed by a brighter dawn" Iman's words were a gentle rain to my parched soul, reviving my hope and renewing my strength. Her calm and reserved nature belied a deep wisdom, a wisdom that flowed from her heart to mine. In her presence, I felt a sense of peace, a reminder that I was not alone in my struggles. That Allah (SWT) is with me.

That night, Iman's words lingered in my mind, a gentle breeze that soothed my soul. I didn't reach for the pills, instead, I let my thoughts drift away, like autumn leaves on a gentle stream.