"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol, you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. It's science."
| NEW GIRL s1-?|
| F!oc x Nick Miller |
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
APRIL, NICK AND SCHMIDT SAT in Jess' room, waiting for her to finish getting ready for the wedding they were heading to. April was going to pretend to be Nick's girlfriend for the event, making sure to keep Caroline away from him and him away from Caroline and she was definitely the most perfect person for it, with just how much Caroline disliked her.
April laid across Jess' bed, her legs on Schmidt and her head on Nick's lap. Her dress slightly fanned out around her. It was a royal blue satin strappy dress the middle of her thighs. Some black heels on her feet. Her hair was in loose curls and her make-up was done up more than usual.
"It's our first wedding together, so we need nicknames," Jess grinned, "Nick is Knickknack, or Mr. Suspenders."
"No. No nicknames," Schmidt shook his head, "Your only job is to be Nick's chic on the side if April gets too drunk to help," He explained, pointing at the woman who was half-lying across him.
April nodded, grinning, "And with me, that's a massive possibility."
"Da, da-da, dah!" Jess grinned, walking out of her closet with the ugliest yellow dress April had ever laid her eyes on.
"No!" Schmidt cried out.
"That's looks like Tweety-bird threw up on it," April commented.
"That's the ugliest dress I have ever seen, Jess," Nick told her.
"I'm really gonna need you to step it up tonight, okay?" Schmidt told her, "When I see you, I want to be thinking, 'Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?'"
"Probably the slut butler, right?" Jess responded in a Cockney accent, doing a finger gun toward Schmidt as she chuckled to herself, walking back over to her closet.
April and Nick looked at each other.
"Yo, let's go. We can't be late..." Winston said, poking his head around the door frame, "...I am in the wedding."
"You're the usher, so relax," Nick told him.
"Yeah, I'll be busy. That way I won't have to sit around answering a bunch of stupid questions all day," Winston explained, "Like, 'do you have a job?' 'Are you still playing basketball?' Does it look like I'm still playing overseas basketball?"
April sighed tiredly.
Nick rubbed his face. His arm brushing against April's shoulder slightly.
"What is the matter with you?" Schmidt questioned, looking at Winston.
"This is the first job I've had in, like, two months, dude and I really wanna get in there and ush this wedding in the face!"
"You're gonna be great," Schmidt commented.
Jess suddenly appeared out of her closet, "When we do the chicken dance, I do it a little bit differently. I know that it usually goes, like..." She began to move her arms like a chicken, demonstrating the dance, "...Da-da, da-da, da-da, da. Da-da, da-da, da-da, da. But instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck..." She moved her neck forward and back, pretending to be pecking, "..."Cause it's more realistic."
"No chicken dance!" Nick yelled.
"Look, we're not trying to be mean..." Schmidt spoke up, "...We just don't want you to be yourself...in any way."
"Okay. Suppress the Jess. Got it," She nodded her head. Walking back into the closet.
Schmidt reached over April to tap Nick's shoulder, " Did you use my hair gel?"
Nick furrowed his brows in confusion, looking over his shoulder at Schmidt, "Did I use your hair gel?"
"I'm not gonna be mad. Just let me know if you did."
Nick scoffed, "No."
"You sure?" Schmidt asked. Staring Nick down.
April looked at him as well.
"Fine. I used your hair gel," Nick finally confessed.
"Are you serious?" Schmidt asked, furrowing his brows.
Nick shrugged, "Yeah--"
"Holy shit," April said, spotting Jess coming out of her closet.
The guys stopped talking, turning to look at Jess as she showed her dress off. The dress was a dark purple off the shoulder with ruffles on the bodice. Reaching the middle of her thighs. Some small black heels on her feet. Her hair in loose curls.
"Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?" Schmidt nodded approvingly.
"You look great, Jess," April complimented, sitting up right.
Jess grinned, revealing a fake set of comedy teeth in her mouth, "Let's go knock biscuits, brother-cousins," She said in a strange voice.
