Withered Roses

Last Days

15th October, 2022

Would I say the bout was the first mistake of my life? I wouldn't because I had made a million mistakes before, but somehow, this bout changed my life. For starters, I had finally carried forward the family tradition of fracturing the bones of our lower limbs. Both my father and grandfather had broken their legs in freak accidents, and I had surpassed them in this field, breaking my leg in a way no one could foresee. I mean, breaking a leg in a friendly wrestling bout was unheard of.

Additionally, I had lost the ability to blame fate for everything. How could I? When I should have been chatting with Evelyn, I was trying to impress her with my wrestling skills. I mean, whom would I wrestle with in real life? With her? Why would she be impressed seeing me wrestling with another guy? I am sure the celestial electrician tasked with wiring my brain, had been missing his sleep, and hence my mind is so fucked up.

When the news of my fracture was broken to me, I can tell you I felt betrayed and heartbroken. I had planned my proposal for months now. The ring was bought, the clothes were ready, and I had saved money to take her out to a fancy lunch later that day. She loved Italian (I guess she still loves Italian, but I ain't sure), and I had planned to take her to Olive Garden. One single mistake and the whole plan was lying on the ground, shattered and useless.

She called later that evening to ask about my health, and when she knew it was a fracture and it needed an operation, she was pissed and broken at the same time. "Who asked you to show off man?" I remember this line well. (I heard it a million times later in our relationship too, but the context, intonation, and reaction, all were quite different). But could we help it? No, we couldn't. So, life moved on. I went to Patna, came back with a plate and 7 screws inserted, and started preparing for my finals. In this period, we maintained close relations, but there was only this much one could do over the phone, and thus we made it a pact to always talk for an hour, whatever the situation.

We didn't realize when the two months between my operation and the exams ended, and it was time we sat for the toughest exams of our time. (No one told us then, that life was the hardest test of them all, and it lasts a lifetime!) The last time I met her at school was when we were assembled to collect our admit cards. I had a slight limp then, and I couldn't run much. She came up, hugged me, and we introduced our parents to one another. I never realized this moment would be time-stamped in my psyche for eternity, as what happened next changed everything. We had reached our Last Days!

___

When I returned from Patna, the exams were on the head,
Most of the time before that, I was spending on my bed;
I didn't disturb her much, yet she cared to give a daily call,
The first time I saw her again was in the examination hall.

"You have gained weight, Shekhar", she said with a smile,
"I had a broken leg, Evelyn", I laughed, "Now don't be hostile";
"I am sorry I was stupid; I shouldn't have wrestled that bad"
She ruffled my hair and said, "You are alive right? That's all to make me glad!"

My mind was fighting a war of its own,
About whether to make my intense feelings known;
One side vouched, 'Let her know that you love her, let her know you care',
While the other vouched, 'It's exam time buddy, this would be unfair".

Before this war exiled my memory, I decided to call it quits,
"Evelyn I should be going to my seat while the time permits";
"Sure, Shekhar", she said with a smile, and gave me a tight hug,
Damn, her touch, her head on my chest, it felt like a needed drug.

After every exam, we would walk out, holding her hands in mine,
Trust me when I say, that week was nothing short of divine;
But, it's said there's nothing that flows without issues
Who knew these things, four years later, would require a million tissues?

At that time though, there was nothing that felt better than her voice,
I hoped after the exams, I would become the man of her choice;
However it turned out I somehow topped the school and state,
While she, in a cruel turn of events, hadn't done great.

This turned out to be a stress fracture, and our calls died soon after,
While I was acting to be elated, there was no true laughter;
While the community and my teachers poured in pounds of praise,
I was mourning my relationship's very last days
___