Withered Roses

You are mine forever

15th October, 2022

Words can't describe the emotions I felt in those moments. Even now, after 5 years of it happening, I still have those goosebumps. Life has shown us really bad times, but when I look back, those moments we shared were priceless.

In a few weeks, I was called up by a reputed government-funded University, and I was realizing my dreams. I got selected to pursue Mechanical Engineering and the person I loved the most, she had walked back into my life.

The first weeks of my engineering course were filled with unsavory experiences, ragging, and stormy relationships. Being a guy in a government-funded university is always a tricky business. Firstly, you are placed in a boys' hostel, and though on paper you might have the best anti-ragging committee, and the strongest administration, yet if no one complains, you never get to know the truth.

On my third day at university, I got involved in a scuffle with a senior over bringing him some food, and that night, I had the worst ragging anyone had faced in like 5 years. I was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused, body shamed, choked, and beaten up so bad that I had body aches for about 3 weeks, and emotional damage (like the real one, not the meme one) for a lifetime.

You might see me today as a stable person, but the real version of me, the open-minded, unscathed Shekhar, was killed the day he was ragged. The person, the doppelganger replacing him was a scared, broken man, struggling to find a footing in a place where every senior seemed like a predator, waiting to hunt on our fears, our weaknesses.

If I am somewhat alive today, living to recite this tale, I should unequivocally appreciate the efforts of Evelyn and my friends, especially a guy named Neil, who put in everything to protect my sanity. Evelyn urged me to open it up to the committee, or at least to Neil, whose father was influential. Likewise, I did go up to him, and in a few hours, his father was in the loop, and my father was at the University, assisting me in tackling this issue. My room was changed, and I was at peace.

As much as I understood the importance of good friends, I realized how important Evelyn was in my life, and I guess it was time I told her how I felt. I had already lost her once in my life, and what was there to lose? Well, I did gather the courage to say it to her but to find her answer, you need to read our next poem, You are Mine Forever.
___

It's been a month since I joined my engineering course,
When times get hard, she's my pushing force;
I hope last night wasn't a dream of sorts,
I wish to not wake up in a world of quizzes and reports.

I remember last night as clear as day,
That couldn't be a dream in any way;
We had known each other long enough to see,
That just as I had something, she had some feelings for me.

It was business as usual for us at night,
Laying down in bed, sometimes laughing, and in others diffusing a fight;
While we were talking about our first meeting, I asked a question I wanted to ask,
I felt it was time for my feelings to unmask.

"Evelyn", I asked, "I know this is something I promised never to discuss",
"I was always scared it would break our friendship, and you would make a fuss";
"But I feel this weight is too much for my chest to keep",
"Promise me when I ask you, you wouldn't label me a creep".

"You sound serious Shekhar", she said, "This isn't the friend I know",
"I can't promise anything, but I guess you should give it a go";
"Because the foundation of our friendship was on openness and trust",
"So spill out the beans buddy, and I promise we will adjust".

"Evelyn", I said, "it took me months to gather the guts",
"So please answer me without ifs and buts";
"Evelyn, the day I saw you, I felt something in me",
"I took time to remove the infatuation, and I want to confess, I love thee".

My heart dropped as I heard silence on the other side,
Truth be told, deep in me, the confessor just died;
Then I heard a rustle, a whisper which said "Never",
"Will you say these words to anyone else, Shekhar, because you are mine forever".
___