Withered Roses

Lost & Found

15th October, 2022

An unceremonial end to a friendship? Maybe it was. But this was my first tryst with heartbreak. I wouldn't say she was unjustified in severing contact with me. I mean we all studied so hard for our exams, and we all wish to succeed with flying colours. You might feel I was being proud of my success, but trust me when I say I had no idea how I did it. I did study well, but to be ranked among the school toppers and being a state topper in a language subject wasn't something I was prepared for.

Deep down, I knew things weren't right. I mean, she was never the jealous type of person. I mean, I have known Evelyn since 2015, and in those 2 years, there have been times when I could see her jealous personality if she had one. But all I could see was a friend with an overpowering sense of elation and happiness for the success of her closest people. Something was off!

I tried getting through her number, but couldn't get through. Maybe I was blocked, or maybe she had changed her phone? I never knew that, but as time went by, my competitive exams drew near. Those times, my friend! Just after my results, we had our engineering exams scheduled. Though she was my dream, engineering was my passion, and howsoever devastated I was in the deepest and darkest compartments of my heart, there was no way I could change my priorities now. Getting through my engineering was the focal point of my life, and I couldn't destroy it. So, Evelyn took the backseat and the horrifying engineering preparation books, the H.C. Verma, for Physics, the R.D. Sharma for Mathematics, and the dreaded books of Chemistry which I dared not name. A nightmare it was, the subject Chemistry.

Somehow, I brought all my concentration and focus back to the books and as the exams drew near, Evelyn and her thoughts moved further back into the stacks of memory. I fucking wish I could go back to that version of myself and ask him how he did that. How he kept Evelyn out of his mind. I need that hack soon, or I might go insane in some years.

In a quick succession of slots, all my engineering examinations were done, and I had some time to breathe, like the calm before the storm. I had been running with my injured leg for 3 months now, and I needed to get some much-needed rest.

Soon enough, results came trickling in, and the initial results were disappointing. What happened though? Our next poem, Lost & Found, would answer that!

___

It probably was a month after our JEE results were declared,
The exams for which I had thoroughly prepared;
I had successfully cleared the examination,
It was the fruit of my focused preparation.

While I was sharing sweets and talking with my relatives on my phone,
I had four missed calls from a number unknown:
I called back, "Hello there, I got a few missed calls from you."
"Hi Shekhar", replied someone with a voice so well I knew.

"Evelyn, is it you?", I said in a voice suppressing excitement,
"Oh, so you remember me? I thought I had to give you an indictment";
"There's no way I am forgetting you",
"But you did forget me, isn't it true?"

Her cheery voice grew weirdly grave, only silence I could hear,
"Hey Evelyn, I am sorry. Evelyn, are you there?"
"Shekhar, I could never forget you, but I did keep your messages unread",
"It's not because of hate, but my deeper emotions were dead."

"I tried so hard, Shekhar; but I couldn't get through the medical test",
"Hey Evelyn", I interrupted, "I know you did your best!"
"Take time to prepare again, and this time, you will surely clear",
I continued, "There is nothing for you to fear".

"I knew you could revive my spirits", she said, "You are my real champ",
"But you, my dear Evelyn, are my real guiding lamp";
"Well, congratulations champ, for cracking the JEE though",
"Thank you, my Queen, and now it's time for you to glow."

We talked for some time, and we promised to talk more,
We decided that it was time to revive our friendship as before;
As I walked back to my relatives, all my mourning had drowned,
The love of my life was lost to time, but again she was found!

___

JEE: JEE(pronounced J-double-E) or the Joint Entrance Examination is a national ranking examination used by top-notch public and private engineering institutes to select their students. It is considered one of the toughest exams globally, as it tests the capabilities of students to logically reason through critical questions within a tight window of time.