Withered Roses

So close, yet so far

18th October, 2022

I had always heard of a phenomenon called 'Writer's Block', but I did experience it first-hand a couple of days ago. After penning the last poem, guess what, I couldn't write anything anymore. If you have read my poems thus far, I am sure you see a rhyming pattern, and I believe that this pattern has to be fulfilled under all terms. Well, the next part of my story scars me, and damn, it was really hard to pen down those feelings. But I guess that's what a poet does, - pens down his feelings no matter what. So, I took an unannounced break for a couple of days, and I have my pen again to write. (Yet again, you would feel nothing as this is a flow of poems. I wish you could watch the BTS situation).

Anyways, where were we? Ah yes, I just proposed, didn't I? Well, if life would have been that easy, I wouldn't have been a whiney, heartbroken engineer. So, what happened? Well, she was still in her drop year, preparing for her examinations, while I was in college. Trust me, people say long-distance works like wonders, but it doesn't.

Initially, when we started dating, things were so good. We talked and texted with each other. We were considerate. We were respectful of each other's time. I realized life had never been this good. But just when I was settling into this paradise, things turned downhill.

I don't lie that often nowadays, but back when my insecurities were encapsulated within my friends trolling me for being single, I had to lie a lot about my previous relationship statuses. I did have a relationship, but it wasn't as flashy and chilled out in real life as I showed it to be in my reel life. Surely, those useless things did reach her ears, and when I did try to come clean, I unknowingly sowed the seeds of pain, which would grow so big as to break our relationship just like a tree breaks a rock apart.

But initially, these things weren't as painful as the distance. I wasn't quite a skeptical person to begin with, but as our relationship progressed, things turned for the worse. No, it wasn't like we were fighting, but the experience of having a couple of hundred kilometers between us, of helplessly kissing the phone screen in the hopes she feels it (Weird teenager stuff, I know!), and the endless desire to meet each other, that hurt endlessly.

Just like that, 3 months of our relationship had gone by. I had promised her I would be there on her birthday and make it memorable. Everything was planned, the bus tickets were booked, but did I make it to my hometown? If I could answer that so simply, I wouldn't have been writing a book, right? The answer was So close, yet so far.
___

It was 11:59 PM on her birthday eve,
It had already been three months of our relationship, I just couldn't believe;
"Happy birthday, Evelyn", I said when the clock struck midnight,
"Thank you, babe. You are coming to meet me, right?"

"This is going to pain you my love, but I won't make it",
"I tried a lot but my department won't permit";
"Hey, I understand", she said, "We surely can meet later",
"For us, our dreams and hopes are always greater".

Today was just one of the hundreds of times we planned and failed,
To meet one another after the ship of our romance sailed;
The distance which we thought was our biggest glue,
Was silently breaking us without any vital clue.

There are times when her anxiety surpasses all peaks,
A hug of care and love is all that she seeks;
But I stood a helpless man, and tried to heal her pain through a device,
Why wasn't there anyone to tell me this distance had a price?

But I was confident that our love was stronger than these hiccups,
I failed to realize that kiss emojis weigh less than motorbike pick-ups;
But I hoped my girl was above these little obstacles,
I was hoping these issues wouldn't end in major debacles.

"Listen, Mr. Overprotective,", she said, "I am not going anywhere soon",
"You are stuck with me, take it as a bane or a boon",
"I confess, I wish I could share my 21st with you,"
"But I know we have bigger dreams to pursue."

"But you know what" she continued, "I pray this distance is removed soon",
"I miss sharing lunch with you every afternoon";
"You know this distance, though acceptable, is leaving a scar",
"I know you are so close to me, yet so very far."
___