Withered Roses

I was in Love

14th October, 2022

Today was special. If it wouldn't have been for our separation, we would have well been in the 62nd month of our relationship. I am an overcommitted guy, I guess, but I did love her beyond my wildest dreams. Anyways, there is nothing to mourn about a relationship as dead as a piece of log, and so it's best to keep these memories as such – Memories.

When I remember the times we spent together as just friends, the memory that strikes me hardest is that of our last Sports Week. I was one of the favorites to win the Shot-Put championship that year, and I did win it for my class. But the other memory was our first indirect confession.

To clarify, after the discussion which was the centerpiece of the last poem, we started changing our approach towards each other. I was normally the guy who would reach college earlier, thanks to my mother, whose vocal alarms would sound religiously from 6:00 AM every day; and my proximity to the college. Hence, I used to stand by the entrance of our lounge, sometimes singing to myself, while at other times looking at the large clock on the lounge wall, hoping she wasn't late. To her credit, in most situations, she wasn't. It had become a custom of ours, to meet early morning, walk together to our classes, keep our backpacks, and walk back together to the general assembly. We had assemblies in junior college too. Convent habits die hard, I guess.

Over the months, we mutually realized our deepest feelings for each other. It wasn't just love, but a holy amalgamation of respect, attraction, and romantic attraction. Today I know that was just the tip of the iceberg called 'Love', and for the most part, the unseen portion is constituted with responsibility, something we both didn't have a lot of back in those days.

As teenagers experiencing attraction and care for the first time, that seemed enough for us to qualify this feeling as love, and I being the rather overthinking, insecure one, decided it was time I let her know how I felt. Frankly, I knew if she didn't share this feeling or wasn't ready to embrace it, our friendship could tank big time, and maybe I could lose a close friend.

I know the question now would be, "Did you kneel, Mr. Poet?" Well, as with everything else in my life, this too is a bit more complicated, and it's for another day. It's 3:00 AM, and I am a heartbroken poet, penning my story. I need to sleep soon. Well, I know you won't let me sleep without a poem, so here's it.

___

The Sun was up, it was the first day of the Sports week,
But unlike the others, it was just another chance to speak;
With the person I was madly in love with,
If I was Derek, she was my Meredith.

"Hey Evelyn, don't want to get some Sun?"
"Hey Shekhar, I don't think so. Sitting is so much fun";
"But you are the champion", she said, "You are playing right?"
"No, I won't", I said "The Sun's too bright."

"That's good, then", she says, "Then where will you be?"
"I would like to sit here, only if you aren't fed up with me!"
"Of course not", she laughed, "I love your company",
"That's a first!", I said, "I am happy to accompany."

I sat by her, and we started talking about things,
I just couldn't comprehend the joy she brings;
While we sat and talked, something hit me,
In that discussion, our future I could see.

I had known her for years, but it's hitting me now,
That her presence made me happy somehow;
But there was no way I was telling her this,
Making her angry was my last wish.

So, we talked for hours, heart-to-heart and eye-to-eye,
Till it was time for our goodbye;
As I walked back home, I thought to myself,
Love's not going to show itself.

Hence, I decided on our farewell, as she sat beside me,
I will get down on one knee,
To tell her that there was no one above, (and)
She was the girl I was truly in love!

___