How to Date Someone You Hate

Chapter 13: The Party, part 3 (Warren)

After spending 20 minutes trying to find a decent place to park Brians Jeep, we finally walk into the party. The bouncer lets us in without checking for ID because, well, actually being friends with Jason means mega benefits. (Not that kind of benefit, get your mind out the gutter)

As soon as we walk in, I'm hit with the smell of alcohol, smoke, and air freshener at the same time.  Lance immediately drags Brian over to the drink table, and I settle down on a chair and open my phone. 

Minutes pass as I look through old photos of me and Allison. I delete all of them with no regrets. Well, ok, I do regret it. Kind of. 

God, why do I feel like the bad guy here? She's the one that cheated, as much as she denies it. 

As I'm having a pity party, I feel someone fall on me. I yelp in surprise and see that it is none other than my idiot friend wasted out of his mind. 

"Lance, we've only been here for 15 minutes, you can't be wasted already." I groan in annoyance. 

Brian and Lance are polar opposites when it comes to drinking. Brian will take small sips of wine and stop at the second glass, and Lance will drink any drink until he blacks out.

In a way, I guess it's good that it's not the other way around, because I don't think I could handle Brian laying on my lap. He's like, 300 pounds of pure muscle. 

Brian runs over to us, panicky. He's holding a towel. What does he even need it fo- "OH HELL NO!" I shriek. A few people from around us give me looks. "Sorry." I chuckle awkwardly. Lance has wet his pants all over me and the floor. And he's wearing a dress with no shorts. Hooray.

Fuck my life. 

Lance groans softly when Brian comes back and makes grabby hands. "Hold me!" He whines. Brian sighs and hands me the towel and he picks up Lance. "I'm gonna take him to the backyard to sober a bit. You got the mess handled?" Brian asks. "Yeah, just take care of him." I say through my teeth. This is the 5th time Lance has pissed on me at a party. I'm surprised no one has given us nicknames yet. 

It only feels like 5 seconds later that I'm surrounded by a group of girls. "Heyyyy." I look up to see that the girls are obviously freshman. The girl who said that has long blonde hair and is wearing mom jeans and a crop top. In other words, she looks like all the other people here. "Hello." I try to sound pleasant, but I'm having a hard time doing that with piss stains on my pants. 

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me later?" The girl asks, twirling her hair. "I have a girlfriend." I say out of habit. "I thought you broke up with Allison?" the girl says. Oh, right. "Um, I'm not interested, sorry." The girl keeps pressing me, but I just finish cleaning up the mess and walk away. My poor pants. 

"Fine, you'd probably cheat on me anyway, fuck wad!" The girl calls out to me. I stop mid walk and take a deep breath. You don't know how hard I want to punch that kid. "Leave him alone Vicky. He obviously is still distraught. I mean, look at him. He peed his pants." One of the girls giggle in spite. 

And just like that, the whole room is staring at me.

Just kidding. This isn't a teen movie. Most people are too busy making out and getting to second base to pay attention to me.

But I decide to have a main character speech anyway. Brian is to blame for this.

I walk up to the girls and smile. "You know, you guys are pathetic." "EXCUSE ME?!" The girl goes red in either embarrassment or anger. I don't care. 

"Flirting with someone even after they express their disinterest and then insulting them? That sounds pathetic to me." I sneer. "Guys do it all the time!" A girl from the group snarks. "Yes, and that's bad. But how is it any better the other way around?" Before they can answer with denial, or even agreement, I walk upstairs to find some pants.

I head to the first bedroom I see and open the door...

and close it immediately. I did not need to see that. 

I sigh and go to the next best place. A closet.

I open the door to the nearest one and... close it. I get we're teenagers and are all raging with hormones and shit, but do we really have to do this stuff in public? Jesus Christ man. 

I finally find an empty room and browse through the drawers to find some pants to wear. I don't find any that would fit me, so I take off my sweatshirt and tie it around my waist. I'm wearing a white T-shirt under this, so It's fine.

I head down the stairs to find Brian and Lance, when I bump into a familiar person.

Allison.