What Are You Hiding, Roman Hart?

Seclusion

A couple of weeks has passed since I've been home. I haven't been coping very well from everything. I've mainly just stayed in my room and would occasionally leave to get food from the kitchen. But as the days passed, I've been eating less and less because I have no appetite.

Luckily my mom hasn't been home much. She's been spending most of her time at the company catching up on work. I try to find ways out of the house while she's gone, but it's extremely difficult.

While I was gone with Roman, she modified the house into basically a prison. Every door had three or more locks and all of the windows had steel bars on them. She also stationed a number of men around the house. So even if I escaped, I would most likely be caught by them. This hasn't stopped me from trying, but I still haven't found a way to get out.

The hardest part of it all are my thoughts. My mind keeps drifting to the time I spent with Roman and all the memories we shared over the years. Every time I thought of him, I would have a breakdown.

It didn't feel real. My mind kept telling me that there was no way that he was gone, but I saw it with my own eyes. I keep trying to come up with ways that he could've survived, but I don't see how it could be possible.

My overall mental state was worsening as the days progressed. I had a lot of horrible thoughts, but I chose not to listen to them. When I left without Roman, I chose to live for him, so that's what I was going to do. It didn't make it any less hard though.

I had never lost anyone before, so I've never really experienced grief. It's a strange process to go through.

It's almost like I can still feel him. He left so many things in my room, and I keep thinking that he'll come back to use them. How am I supposed to believe that they will never be used by him again?That they will just sit here and eventually lose all traces of him. It's very hard to wrap my mind around it. So hard to the point where I'm starting to become numb.

I've lost all my energy to do anything. The first couple of days I was trapped here, I had hope that I could escape. Now all that hope is gone and it took all of my energy away with it.

I try to distract myself by doing schoolwork, and for the most part, it somewhat works. Occasionally when I do work, I'll remember things that happened at school with Roman and all of the bad feelings come back. However, the hardest part is after I finish all of my schoolwork. I have nothing else to do because my mom took away all of my electronics, and I can't bring myself to pick up a book. So I just lay there.

Sometimes I'll lay and stare at the ceiling while other times I'll stare out the window. I don't stare out the window as much because seeing the bars on them worsens my mood.

I like to imagine that Roman is laying with me while I stare at the ceiling. I'll close my eyes and try to trick my mind into thinking that I can feel his warmth beside me.

Oh yeah, that's another thing. I never noticed how much Roman would keep me warm. All of my life I've struggled with the cold, but when I met Roman, he became my personal heater. I loved when we would cuddle and he would wrap his arms around me trapping the heat in. It felt like I was a caterpillar in a cocoon preparing to become a butterfly.

But now that's all gone. The coldness only adds to the emptiness inside of me reaching to my core. All the warmth that was left there by Roman has been replaced. And it hurts.

The pain hurts so much and I don't know how much longer I can go on. I know I need to get out the bed, but I just can't bring myself to get up. I know I need to take a shower and take care of myself, but I just don't see the point. I know I need to eat, but the hunger is no longer there.

I'm a shell of who I once was.

I rolled over on my bed and stared out the window. The sky was growing darker creating a dark blue hue to mix with the lighter blue. I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was around 6:00 PM. I figured I should try to eat something since I hadn't eaten all day, so I made the brave decision to get up from my bed.

On my way to the kitchen, I tried to decide what I wanted to eat. I eventually came to the decision that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sounded good. I grabbed the peanut butter from the cabinet and the jelly from the fridge and started to apply them on two slices of bread. Once my creation was completed, I dug in.

I wasn't very hungry, but I forced myself to eat it all because I knew my body needed it. It was a slow process, but I didn't mind. I was enjoying staring out the window while I ate.

I didn't get to enjoy it for long because there was suddenly a loud crash coming from the back of the house. My body immediately tensed as I slowly got up from the chair I was sitting in. I quietly walked towards the back door to find the cause of the noise. Fear was quickly filling my senses, but I pushed myself forwards.

When I made it to the back door, it looked like the door had been kicked in by someone and was left wide open. Clearly someone had broken in.

I started to panic in fear of this unknown person attacking me. I didn't have a phone because of my idiotic mother, so I couldn't call for help.

Wait.

The door is open.

Doesn't this mean I could leave.

I didn't hesitate to start running towards the door, but was quickly stopped when someone grabbed my arm. I was spun around as my arm was pulled and came face to face with a woman. The woman had long dark hair and pitch black eyes. I could see signs of aging around her eyes which showed that she was older than me. I couldn't see the rest of her face because it was covered by a mask.

"Are you Oliver?", the strange woman asked.

My heart was beating extremely fast. I had no clue to who this woman was but she strangely knew my name.

"Who are you?", I asked suspiciously while trying to pull my arm out of her grasp.

The woman let go of my arm and pulled down her mask. I was met with a smile that was plastered on her face once she removed the mask. She looked oddly familiar.

"You're Oliver, aren't you.", she said.

"How do you know my name?"

"Oh sorry for not introducing myself. My name is Hope and I'm here to get you out of the place.", she said.

Hope?

She's supposed to be dead.