Bocchi the Unforgiven (A Bocchi the Rock AU)

Chapter six - Life now

It has been one year since I left for New York. I'm sixteen years old now.

Life has changed since that day, I have no contact from anyone in my past, including my family and friends. I live in a big apartment now. And I don't go to school either.

All of this makes me sound like a reclusive loner, but I'm not completely. I've been working under a record label for sometime now, playing guitar on my own. I only have done concerts either on the streets or on small stages. It's not much, but I'm working there.

I've also been trying my best to regain my confidence, but it's hard when you don't have any friends. Playing in public has helped me a lot though, and I secretly dream to sing one day too.

--

I woke up on a morning day in my apartment, the sun shining through the windows, and not a single cloud in the blue sky.

On this day I was expected to perform on a mini stage on the streets at 12:00, so I had to get up early. So I did and went to change into some clothes.

One of the better things about living on your own is that you can wear whatever you wish. So today I wore a band sweater with a black belt and a black skirt with tights. I then grabbed my guitar and began rehearsing for my performance.

The song was a guitar-only cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. A classic, but still a good one.

Soon enough at 11:00, an hour before the performance, I came and I reached the street. There to greet me was some of workers at Moonlit Studios, the record label company I was working under.

There was a couple other music performers that would be performing here today as well.

"Hey Gotoh!" One of them, named Paisley, greeted me, "Glad to hear you're performing today too." She was an alternative rock singer who was a part of a small band.

"Thanks." I said, smiling, "Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great."

"Aha!" She laughed, "Good luck to you too!"

Paisley's band was the first to go up, they performed two cover songs, one by Paramore and one by Linkin Park. Both were very impressive performances.

After two other performances, I was up next. I was a bit nervous at first, but I brushed that off the crowd's support. They were even singing along to the song when I wasn't even singing. It went very well.

Once all the preformances were over, everyone headed out on stage to greet the fans. They were all very enthusiastic about it and enjoyed the performances.

To my surprise, I was greeted by two younger girls with pink papers in their hands.

"Heyyy.. do you think you could sign an autograph for us?" One of them shyly asked.

An autograph! I've never gotten one before. What should I say? I don't even know what mine would look like!

I awkwardly stood there sweating. "Uhh sure..!" I said as I grabbed both of their papers. I tried to sign my name in a more stylized rocker way with a star at the end, which sort of worked out.

"Thank you so much! We loved your performance!" The girl thanked me as I handed them back their papers.

I smiled and the two headed off, seemingly looking for more people to sign for them.

I'm glad I got that autograph. It makes me feel recognized, in a good way, this time. Maybe this is a chance for my next steps to fame! No I shouldn't say that it's just two nice girls... ahahahaha..

I then just decided to stand around for a bit and wait for something else to happen. All I received was some compliments as I walked by, but I should be grateful for that.

Is there something wrong with me? Why isn't anyone else asking for autographs? Am I being too needy?

I tried to push the thoughts away, so I decided to just pack and go. As I was heading my way out I noticed that all the other performers were talking to people and spending time with them.

I bet they have somewhere to go back to and call home, with other people.

As I was about to leave I was tapped on the shoulder by someone, which almost felt familiar, but it turned out to be Paisley.

"Hey, Gotoh!" She acknowledged. I turned over to her in surprise.

"Yes?" I responded.

"Me and the rest of my band are going out now to a local restaurant, would you like to come?" She asked. It took me a moment to reply due to some thinking.

Paisley's inviting me to go out to eat.. it's been a long time since someone's asked me that. Actually, it's been a really long time since anyone's asked me to hangout too. Am I really that lonely?

"Sure." I responded. She then gathered the rest of the band together and we went out to a nice restaurant for us.

At that place we chatted about things such as music, and I found out we had lots of things in common too. Their band was called 'The Dragon Rebels', which I thought was cool.

We shared similar tastes in music and I could relate to the guitar player as well by the fact he has the same struggles that I had with it.

Overall it was a good time, and I felt my sense of loneliness simply wash away.

But once I left, it had returned.

---

Walking up the steps to the apartment, I entered it. Placing down my guitar leaning against the wall near the door.

I then headed for the couch and laid down.

That felt good, just hanging out with people, not being locked by the barriers of fear or anxiety, just simply having fun with each other.

It felt good, something I haven't experienced in a long time.

I opened up my phone and scrolling through the photos, and soon I found something from over a year ago.

It was a picture of us, the Kessoku Band.

It was supposed to be our band picture, the others were doing fun poses, but I just stood on the right doing a little awkward pose, holdings hands with Ryo and Nijika.

God it felt so awkward.

But that doesn't mean I don't miss it.

I rolled over to the side on the couch, putting myself in a vulnerable position.

I've always known that I've been lonely my whole life. The band now seems only like a small fragment of togetherness, and spending time with Paisley will become an even smaller one as well.

Nobody rarely ever comes by me, I sit alone like the smallest fragment of glass that no one notices, while everybody else are pieces left that stick glued together. Sometimes people would step on me but the pain goes away so quickly that it's nothing but a memory.

Maybe it's my fault? What if I'm the one who broke the glass and ran away leaving other people to clean it up for me. But the one's cleaning it up don't even have an original picture of what the glass really looks like.

Damn it. I'm overthinking too much, people do like me. I should be grateful that I was invited over to eat today.

I shut my phone off and pulled up a blanket, preparing to take a nap.

Clearing my head from the negative thoughts, I closed my eyes to let them out. Starting to feel better.

Right as I was about to fall asleep, I heard something from my phone.

It was a call, and it was an unknown number, listed from Japan.