Found and Forgotten

Chapter 35

Zeta POV

After another sleepless night, I decided to hit another early workout. My anger, loneliness, and sadness are all interchanging in waves. I have no one now. I want to talk to my best friend, but I can't. My brothers have proven they don't care.

I expect the gym to be empty at this hour, but I am not super surprised to see Enzo. However, I am surprised to see Xander and Gianni there too. I guess the hot heads are trying to work off their guilt. 

They seemed surprised to see me. Well not so much Enzo, but the other two. "Zeta" one of them starts. I don't pay attention to who as I immediately turn around and run back to my room, not wanting to see those idiots right now. I'm feeling incredibly frustrated as I just wanted to workout to clear my mind.

Without realizing it, I'm pacing back in forth while my mind races in thoughts. My anger is building that they're in my space. I know it's not technically mine, and it's really there's more than it is mine, but I'm sleep deprived and mad at them so irrational thoughts it is. I'm brought out of my thoughts by a ping on my phone. Who could that be at this time?

Enzo: We left. Go clear your head. I'll make sure no one bothers you.

Thank God for Enzo. I know I shouldn't have a favorite, but I do. I also realized I'm less mad at him then the rest. Still incredibly mad, but he did try to call me and text me while they were away. I'm still super mad, but he did show me he cares some. And now the fact he let me have my space to clear my head, well let's just say he has to work for forgiveness much less than the others.

I make my way back to the gym, carefully avoiding anywhere my brothers might've went. I start by running, followed by some strength training, and finally spending most of my time with the punching bag.

By the time I'm finished, my body is so exhausted that my thoughts had no choice but to slow down a little. Mission accomplished.  I shower and head to grab something to eat, but, when I hear everyone in the dining room, I pause. I do not want to see them still.

Any hunger I was feeling is gone. I turn and go outside, craving fresh air. I leave out the back door, and take a breath of fresh air. I open my eyes to see I am not alone. I see Beckett is out here finishing a phone call. Well better than my brothers I guess. I ignore him and sit at the patio table. I pull my legs into my sweatshirt, essentially curling up into a ball. I cross my arms on the table and put my head down.

Some moments later, I'm started when I hear someone sit across from me. "You good?" Beckett asks me. Hmm. Figured he'd go back inside. I don't trust him. I'm sure whatever I say will get relayed to the idiots inside anyway. So, I just nod.

"You don't have to be, you know. Massimo told me what happened. You deserve to be both upset and pissed" he said.

"I look that bad, huh?" I say with a slight smirk. "like a zombie" he says cheekily, patting my head. His response almost made me chuckle, but it kind of made me sad that it wasn't one of my brothers trying to cheer me up at the same time. Complicated feelings I know.

We sit in silence for a moment before I see him slide a protein shake over to me. "Drink it." He demands. "Actually, I'm not --" I start to say, but he cuts me off. "You haven't eaten a full meal in over a week. Just drink it."

"How did you.." I start to say, incriminating myself. "Enzo isn't the only observant one. Happened to see you pushing did around one day. Once I spotted it once, it was easy to spot it every day after." He surprised me. I didn't think anyone noticed. Part of me is mad he noticed, but the other post of me feels seen for once. Like I'm a little less alone.

"Why do you care anyway?" I ask him.

"Your family means a lot to me. I guess that includes you now" he starts, but then hesitates as if he has more to say but doesn't know if he should. Eventually he does continue: "I didn't exactly know what happened while you were away, but I have suspicion we have some similarities in our pasts. It makes me feel the need to protect you a little more if I'm being honest."

Wow. Want expecting that. But I do appreciate it. It's kind of nice to have someone looking out for you that's not family. I mean my brothers are there even if I'm mad at them right now, but it's nice to have non family too. I've been missing that since Akira. Not that Beckett is anything close to Akira.

"I don't know what you went through, but I'm sorry that happened." He just nods.

"I'm also sorry that your best friend is Massimo. He's an idiot" I say trying to lighten the mood. He chuckles. "Yeah. For the record, he does care. Just what he thinks is right and what is actually right don't always align. Don't forgive him too easily" he says with a wink.

At this point, I am almost finished with the protein shake. It's not much, but more than I've been eating. I see Beckett eyeing the drink to make sure it's all gone. It's nice knowing someone cares. It gives me a new respect for Beckett. I always thought of him as just my brother's friend, but maybe he's more like a family friend. I don't know. Something tells me I can trust him. He seems to understand more than most. 

"Well, nice talking to you kid. Have to go get another shake for myself now" Beckett says as he gets up. "Sorry about that" I say. "I'm just kidding. I'm glad you ate something. Give the boys hell today. I've got some work to do" he replys as he walks back into the house. Alone again. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the convo and food did help some. I make my way back inside, intending to go to my room when I hear Massimo speak from the living room.

"Zeta, can we talk?"

I don't say anything, but I do walk into the room, probably against my better judgement.

They're all sprawled out in the couches. Luckily, I see an empty spot next to Enzo, so I take it. I stare at them impatiently waiting for them to speak.

"First, we all want you to know how sorry we are. We love you and know that we really messed up. We would like to try and make it up to you" Massimo starts.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" I cut him off.

"Well, this apology is a start. Then maybe we can have a family day and celebrate the birthday that we missed" he replies.

"Save the apology. Actions speak louder than words. Do you have something planned?" I ask.

"Not yet. We were going to ask you."

"You want me to plan my own birthday after you missed it and left me alone and hurt me, especially after knowing my past? You're all ridiculous. How bout you actually try to earn my forgiveness. Not give me some half ass  apology and a day that I have to plan for myself" I rant as I walk back to my room.

I need to get out of this house. I decide to ask Enzo if he will take me and Boone to the dog park. He's the only one I can kind of stand being around right now. He tells me he will be ready in five so I get changed and get Boone ready. Boone deserves a fun day too. He was with me while they forgot me. He's the only reason I didn't spiral into a deeper depression. Hooray for dogs.

I head down to the garage with Boone to see Enzo already waiting for us. I get in and we start the silent ride out. I'm glad to be getting out, but I'm still mad and not feeling too chatty.

Hopefully this day out helps me have a day where my mind isn't constantly racing. A girl can dream.