Found and Forgotten

Chapter 32

Zeta POV

It's been a few weeks since my day with Gianni and things are mostly back to normal. Whatever that means. Massimo, Enzo, Xander, and Dante have been super busy with work. I know what they do, but I try not to think about it. I don't exactly approve, but I don't have any control anyway. Matteo is super busy with school as finals come around. I'm thinking about signing up for a few classes again in the fall. Not full time. I'm still not ready mentally. Gianni has been super busy with friends. Sometimes I hear them downstairs. Sometimes the twins join with their friends.

I know it's selfish, but I wish they'd stop bringing them here. Not in a jealous, possessive way that I wish they were paying attention to me, but every time I hear them laughter, I delve farther into grief. I know that I will never have another friendship like Akira. She understood me like no one else. I could tell her anything without hearing how crazy I am or being judged. Sigh.

I haven't been sleeping. My brothers haven't really been staying with me anymore. I told them the nightmares were getting better. A lot. But I'm not going to tell them the truth. My dark circles are getting bigger by the day. I know I can't get help without communicating what I need, but is it so crazy that I want someone to notice and want to help? I'm feeling forgotten again. The only brother who has even had more than small talk with me lately is Enzo. He still comes to check on me when he's not busy. But he's so busy that I try not to worry about it too much.

I never feel like eating anymore, but we still eat dinner as a family most nights. I mostly move food around to appear like I'm eating more than I am. My brothers are usually distracted in their conversations to notice. The twins, Gianni, and Xander usually discuss girls and other trivial things. Massimo, Enzo, and , Beckett, who's over a few times a week are always discussing more silently, I assume because of work.

Seems like I'm stuck in a void. Missing my family. Missing my friend. Wanting someone to notice me drowning. I appreciate the effort they made, but it doesn't make me feel great knowing it seems like one and some for each of them. They're not being mean, just ignorant. Back to my room for another sleepless night. Sometimes I play Pokemon. Sometimes I just stare at the ceiling. Wondering what this life is. Better than my time at the orphanages and foster homes. But not quite living up to my time adopted. Sigh. Hopefully things start changing before I break.

Beckett POV

Currently eating dinner with the Conti's again. It has been a regular thing these past few weeks, not that it was uncommon before that. I've been over more helping the older brothers with some mafia issues since we are allies. Someone found out about Zeta's return and is sending threats. They don't want to tell me everything, which I respect, but these threats imply she's had a very dark past. So we've been pretty engrossed in work.

I glance over around the table. I always like to survey my surroundings. Everything seems pretty normal until I happen to catch that Zeta isn't actually eating again. Something I've noticed more than once this week. I don't like that, but I don't feel like it's my place to say anything. I don't want to make a big deal if it's nothing and I also don't want to be the weirdo for noticing. It does annoy me that her brothers aren't noticing, even the observant ones. I guess they're so focused on her safety that they're distracted.

Zeta is closed off. With the little bits I do know of her past, I don't blame her. I guess my earlier suspicions were correct, we do have some similarities in our past. That explains why I felt the need to protect her. I feel that now seeing her not eat, but again it's not exactly my place. Maybe I'll find some way to get the hint to them that they're ignoring her. She's good at hiding her feelings, but they should be able to read them easily if they just open their eyes.

Zeta POV

Another uneventful night in my bedroom. As long as you call a terrifying nightmare uneventful. My birthday is coming up next week. It was always an awful day for me. It's triggering some of my worst memories to surface. I was kind of hoping this year would be different, but I think my brothers forgot. I thought they would've mentioned it once by now, but they haven't. Sometimes I think about harming myself, but the stress of someone finding out is too much.

I hear Enzo walking down the hallway, but I'm really not in the mood right now. I pretend to sleep so he does too the gym. He's too observant. He will know something is wrong and I'm not ready for that conversation. I hear him quietly open the door and then after a few moments I hear him leave. I put it the window to see the sun is coming up. I let out a yawn and struggle to keep my eyes open. All this lack of sleep is catching up to me. I actually start to doze off.

Enzo POV

I went to check on Zeta this morning, but she was pretending to sleep. I debated calling her out on it, but I assume she just wanted space and left. Is she mad at me? I'm going to have to figure this out. My whole workout passed by, but I couldn't tell you anything about it. My mind is stuck on Z. I realized how distant she's been. Have we been ignoring her too much. She said her sleep was getting better, but I've seen the dark circles. Maybe space isn't what she needed. My mind is just racing with all of the possibilities.

I decide to take a shower and then go check on Z again. This time she is actually sleeping. A smile almost appears on my usually emotionless face. She looks so peaceful. I wish I could take everything that happened to her away. I need to make more of an effort. But we are drowning in work with these threats.

I head to Massimo's office. Physically I'm there, but my mind is elsewhere. Massimo must notice as he's talking to some of our brothers and Beckett about the threats.

"Are you listening to me, Enzo?" Mass asks.

I just nod. Never one for too many words.

But I decide to speak. "Do you have a mission for Xander today?" I ask.

"Not at the moment, why?" He replies.

I turn to Xander. "Go hang out with Zeta today. She's sleeping still, but she'll be up soon" I direct.

All of my brothers seem confused, but weirdly Beckett seems to have a knowing look. They know not to question me though. I don't speak a lot, so they know I have a reason.

"Yeah, okay" Xander says and leaves the room.

We finish our meeting and we go to the threats. We decide to go to our warehouse. Dante has more hacking resources there for us to get to the bottom of this.

As we are all arriving, I notice that Beckett and I reach before everyone else. I decide to pull him aside.

"What do you know?" I say slightly threatening him.

"What do you mean?" He replies.

"You weren't confused like everyone else when I sent Xander out. Why?"

"I just figured you noticed the same thing I did." He says. What has he noticed? Something I haven't?

"And what that?" I ask.

"She hasn't been eating the last few days at dinner. She's just been pushing the food around to make it look like it." He says. That surprises me. I thought her appetite was getting better. How did he notice and I, her brother, didn't?we are failing as brothers.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I ask him.

"Figured it might just be an off week. It's not really my place. I'm not her brother. I just happened to catch it when I was looking around the dinner table the other day. Like you, I also like to observe" he says. That makes sense I guess.

My mind is occupied the rest of the day with how to help Zeta and figure out what's going on with her.