Written in tears

The colors of u

When I first saw you, you were white,
the color of someone I hadn't met,
the color of a stranger
who would never ever care.
That unknown, unreachable white...
you were that color for a while.
And I thought I'd never dare
to take a look at your face.

Then you stopped being a stranger,
and you turned to burning red.
You reminded me of fire;
I swore I could feel the flames.
It was the color of my happiness,
the color of my love,
the color of all the feelings
that I'd never felt before.

Later on you became purple,
the color of Olivia Rodrigo's traitor
playing on repeat on my phone,
the color of my throat going sore
because I screamed your betrayal
and tried so hard to make relevant
the pain that I felt alone.

When all that pain turned to hatred,
when I was angry and so hurt,
you became the darkest black,
the color of what won't come back.
The color of missing,
of thinking I knew,
the color of crying
and raging for you.

But time went by
and black became white.
As I grew older, said: "I know
you're not that boy anymore."
You became again a stranger,
I felt fade away my anger.
You were someone I'd never seen,
someone whose name meant nothing to me.

'Till you talked to me, some weeks ago...
Though I forgot those feelings, now they're reborn.
I think about you and I watch, afraid,
as in the white appears a small spot of red.
But today it's not like fire,
it does not resemble flames.
It looks like a bloody droplet
and it feels like pain and hurt.

So I rush to clean it,
to get rid of that red.
But I'm not stupid, I can feel it:
it's turning purple again.