Guidestar Combatants

The Darkness and The Youth Authority

He stood in the doorway of his bedroom, his heart racing as he starred at the door that went into his step brother's room. He couldn't believe the thoughts that were running through his head. He was feeling attracted to his step brother, and it made him sick to his stomach. He tried to shake the thoughts away, but they persisted, leaving him feeling disgusted with himself.

Why am I feeling like this? He thought, his mind reeling with conflicting emotions. He couldn't understand how he could be attracted to his step brother. It was wrong on so many levels. They were practically family now, and he couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that washed over him.

He took a step back, trying to distance himself from the door. He couldn't let his step brother see him like this. He couldn't let anyone see him like this. He was supposed to be the good son, the responsible one. How could he be having these thoughts about his own brother?

His father had married his mother just three months ago, but their relationship had been blooming for much longer. He remembered the first time he met his step brother, how they hit it off right away. They had become close quickly, and now he couldn't bear to look at him without feeling a sense of shame and longing.

He turned around and walked into his own room, closing the door behind him. He needed to be alone, to clear his head. He removed his clothes and slid beneath the covers, trying to find comfort in the familiar surroundings of his room. But even as he closed his eyes, his mind was still filled with thoughts of his step brother.

He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to do something to get these thoughts out of his head. He snatched his phone up from the nightstand and opened his web browser, clicking it to private mode and opening a new page. In the search bar, he typed in "nude men fuck" and hit search. Site after site popped up in the browser window, showing results he could use to please himself.

Pleasing himself was something he had never done figuratively. Literally, however, it was something he did more often than not. He hated himself for it, for giving into his desires. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't resist the temptation.

He had to do everything he could to keep himself hidden. He kept it hidden from his mom, his step dad, and even his new step brother. He couldn't bear the thought of them finding out, of them looking at him with disgust and disappointment. It hurt him a lot that he couldn't just be honest with everyone.

But he couldn't stop himself. He was addicted to the rush, the pleasure. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't resist the temptation. And as he clicked through the different websites, his inner turmoil only grew. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't stop. And that only made him hate himself even more.

Honesty was something he believed was very important in life. He prided himself on always being truthful and standing up for what he believed in. But deep down, he knew that he was not being honest with anyone, not even himself.

He blamed it on being a teenager, a time in life where it seemed acceptable to defy authority and push boundaries. But he was not just a teenager, he was a teenager in high school. And not just any high school, but eleventh grade, a crucial year where he was expected to start taking responsibility for his actions.

But instead of facing the truth, he made excuses for everything in his life. He justified his behavior and actions, convincing himself that he had a valid reason for everything. That's why he was now stroking his dick to gay porn. His excuse was simple - he wasn't gay. He always told himself that, almost as if he were trying to beat it into his head. As if he were trying to convince himself that if he weren't gay, he wouldn't be gay any more.

But the more he told himself this, the more he grew mad. Mad at himself for lying, for denying who he truly was. The more he wanted to use the gun that was in his step father's desk drawer. It was a symbol of power, a way to take control of his life and escape from the pain he felt.