FEEL THE MUSIC {BABY LASAGNA}

XIV. Skating in april

-I'm gonna fall!- Exclaimed Marko.

-Just take my hand!

Marko and I went ice-skating. It was his first time ever on skates, so he was very clumsy and had all his clothes soaked for having fallen thousands of times.

He didn't take my hand, he took my whole arm.

-Now try to push one leg back and bend the other to move forward.

-I can't do it! 

-Yes you can! I believe in you!

-Promise me that If I fall you'll catch me!

-I promise you I'll try to catch you, but to be honest we'll both fall!

Marko took a deep breath. His face was all sweated from the big effort he was making to just be standing on his skates. 

-LOOK! I'M DOING IT!-His eyes were shining beautifully, revealing great happiness. For a moment we got lost in each other's gaze and I felt as if I wasn't able to talk anymore, but words weren't needed.

Suddenly Marko fell but didn't get loose of his grip so I slipped and ended up falling just above him.

My hands touched the cold ice and were next to his ears while his hips were between my knees. We were too close and our visual contact was at its strongest. Neither of us spoke, the tension was very palpable. I felt something inside me as our faces leaned closer to each other. He lowered his gaze and looked at my lips as millions of butterflies flew in my stomach. Closer. Our faces were almost touching. Closer, just closer.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm. Had I just dreamt about Marako? I hid my face between my hands as I was feeling, for some reason, very guilty. I couldn't let myself catch feelings for my friend who was also my rival in the most important competition I was ever going to take part in. I should be centered in Eurovision and nothing else.

I shook my head in an attempt to forget my dream. In the end I couldn't control my dreams, so I could have had the same dream with another person like Zack Efron, Damiano, Gavi… But still, there is something else you can't control, the feelings you develop for someone.

I got up and got ready for the day. I chose white sweatpants and a green top which was soon covered by a dark blue hoodie. I braided my hair, brushed my teeth and washed my face with fresh water which activated myself. That day I had to fly back to Spain to focus on rehearsals before continuing the Eurovision journey. Two weeks of intense preparation were ahead of me.

Before reuniting with my team, I got just enough time to have breakfast with Nemo, Marcus, Martinus and Marko. During our meeting every time I looked at Marko I couldn't help but to feel embarrassed as flashbacks of my dream kept appearing in my mind. 

When my team and I finally boarded the plane after two hours of waiting in the airport, I let myself fall on my seat.

-Are you alright? You've been awfully quiet this morning. Your mind seems to be in another place.-Asked Sofia as she sat next to me in the aisle seat.

-I'm fine, well maybe a bit tired as these last few weeks have been so intense.

-Have you slept well tonight?

I instantly blushed remembering how close my lips were to Marko's in my dream.

-Sleep? Oh yes, I slept well. Um- no, I slept good, I mean, exactly as any other day. Yes, it was a pretty usual sleep with a totally average dream.- Fuck. Could I just shut up?

-Okay I guess?

We were interrupted by the crew of the plane that were explaining what to do in case of an emergency. Shortly after the plane took off.

We arrived in Madrid at midday. The first thing I noticed was the weather change. It was a sunny day and I swear the temperature was twenty degrees higher than in the Netherlands! But at least the heat in April was bearable, not like during summer when some days forty degrees were reached. I got offered a ride by some member of the Spanish delegation which I took happily. 

We drove for two and a half hours to get to Ciudad Real. I then took a bus to get to Miguelturra, my town. As soon as I got off the bus I wrote to my friends Paula, Julio and María, I wondered what they had been up to while I was out of the town.

I knew that the next day I had to get up early to go to Madrid for rehearsals and I could have just simply stay at some hotel there, but all I ever wanted was to spend some time with my mom.

I would be lying if I said that a big smile didn't form on my lips when I arrived at my house. I missed it so much, the brown walls, the wooden door which made an annoying noise every time it was opened, the stairs in which I had fallen too many times, the kitchen where I made my coffee every morning, the pool in which me and my friends had swam so many times during the hotter days… Was I exaggerating? I didn't stop to think about it. It had been quite an accomplishment for my mother to be able to buy that house after both of us were abandoned by Harrison when I was just a child. She had found a temporary job while she completed her studies and raised me with the help of one friend of hers, Natalia. After some rough years she found a better job as a saleswoman and worked very hard, and in the end we could move to this house.
When I finally stepped on my house around five in the afternoon I was greeted by my mum with open arms. It felt so warm and nice so I just wanted to lay there forever. I didn't realize how exhausted I truly was until that moment, when I was at home.

We broke our physical contact when my stomach growled, I was so tired that I had forgotten that I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

-Let's eat some snacks while you tell me everything.-Suggested my mom.

I grabbed a bag of peanuts and we sat around the table. I started to tell her about the past few weeks, skipping some details like my father's threat. As much as I wanted to speak to someone about it, I didn't want to worry my mum. My mum noticed something was triggering me and asked me about it but I just told her that It was nothing, I was just tired.

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Guess who's back?

Okay, I've to admit it has been too long, so sorry for that.