Badboy Kisses

Chapter 19 - Hard Choice.

"So I should start from the start I guess." He says nervously, I grab his hand and squeeze. "Don't worry." I say smiling reassuringly, but deep inside of me I was worried of what had happened whilst he was gone.

"As you know, I'm always getting myself into a lot of trouble with the wrong people, but this time I was into some deep shit that I couldn't get out of unless I listened to them." He ran his hands through his hair. "I was fighting illegally for money, it wasn't all the time maybe once a week. But recently I was doing it more often and I had been winning and receiving a lot of money. So the guy who 'in charge' of the fights asked me to do it as a permanent job and leave everything behind. I said no, I wasn't going to leave my family and you behind and I was trying to get away from all the bad shit in my life. He said that if I didn't do it he'd hurt anyone I've ever cared about, he'd make my life a nightmare. He knew everything about me, all my weaknesses. It was like he did a background check on me. This guy wasn't a guy you'd be able to say no to and get away with it. When he told me all this shit he could do I had to say yes. He told me not to tell anyone where I was going, just to pack my stuff and leave. So I did that and it was the worst few weeks of my life. I couldn't stop thinking about you and my family and what you'd all be thinking about where I was and worrying. It affected my fights and I ended up loosing every single one, every single day I was fighting against some of the strongest guys in the town. He said he wouldn't let me go until I won. But I was just getting weaker and weaker. And finally I was sick of being treated like this and I put my mind to it and won. It was hard but I did it. And I promise you I'll never get involved with shit like this again." He says putting his head in his hands sighing.

I didn't really have any words for what he told me and right now it I don't think he wanted any, I hugged him and we sat there for what felt like eternity hugging in silence. And to be quite honest, it was the best moments because all we needed was each other there was no need to talk or do anything. For the first time in our relationship it was just peace and silence and it was more than I could wish for.

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The next few days were spent over binge watching Netflix, eating pizza and getting high. Whoops. We stayed at Olly's house as his parents were on a business trip in Europe so we had the house to ourselves. We didn't really take advantage of it except using the living room TV instead of Olly's laptop in his room. I know what your thinking; living life on the edge!

It is now Monday morning and I am back at my house getting ready for school. The idea of school literally makes me want to cry, the 'Queen B and her 'slaves'' are the main reason of my headaches. I was toying with the idea of skipping, but I'd missed a lot of school and needed it.

I got showered and ready and sat down for breakfast, as I began eating my cereal Olly walked in. "Don't you believe in knocking?" I asked whilst stuffing my face with lucky charms. "No, how long? We can't be late" he says. I was surprised, in all my time of going to school with Olly he wouldn't of minded strolling into 2nd period half way through. "Woah, where's the Olly that didn't mind ditching and getting detentions?!" I smiled. "Just come on" he says kissing me. I wouldn't of minded doing that all day but Moaning Mindy wanted to get to school. So we left and and arrived 10 minutes before the bell.

"Why are we so early?" I asked. "We're not the teachers advise us to be at school 10 minutes before the bell." He said. I went to class early because I was too lazy to walk around. I had Science now whilst Olly had Spanish. Classes went slow all day and today of all days I was thinking of University. It dawned on me that after this Summer I'd be off to New Jersey thousands of miles away from California. But Olly and I would be going our different ways whilst he stayed here. I was scared we weren't gonna last, everyone knew long distance relationships never work out. And whilst I want to be concentrating on get my grades and graduating I can't be worrying about Olly back here, wondering the thing he'll be getting himself into. I love this boy a lot and breaking up with him will probably be the hardest thing ever. I'd rather do it sooner rather than a few days before I leave when it'll be the hardest. Even though I'd miss the nights of cuddling, smoking weed and watching shit chic flics. It'll be harder knowing he's here and that we won't see each other every day like we do now. I don't even know how I'm gonna handle this. We only have a few days left of school anyway, that hardest thing will be when I see his face through the window opposite to mine, memories will come flooding back.

The bell rang and I snapped out of my deep thoughts and walked to English. The rest of the day went past fast, I met up with Amy at lunch and told her. She said I was crazy and that we could make a long distance relationship work. But she supported whatever I did. I'm currently at home about to leave to go round to Olly's. Not going to lie, I was pretty nervous. I was about to leave the one person I loved more than anything.

I walked up to his front door and knocked, he opened up with the familiar smile that has always made me weak at the knees every time. "Hey" he smiled. 'Hi' i said looking down I could feel the tears coming. "We need to talk" I took his hand and went to the living room and sat down. "What's happened? Is everything okay?" He said with a sense of urgency. I nodded.

"What is it?" He asked worried. "Olly I'm leaving soon as you know. I just want you to know that your the best thing that's ever happened to me and ever will happen to me, you understand me like no other person and I love you so much. But I just don't think I can handle a long distance relationship -" "No Jamie I won't let you do this I love you I can't loose you." That was it, I could keep it in any longer I cried so hard and all he did was hold me. I didn't need to say anything else, he knew exactly what I was saying. I pulled away from him, "Olly I can't be in San Fransisco wondering what you're going to be up to here or what your going to be wanting to do but I'm holding you back." He looked at me with pleading eyes. "I truly do love you, I'm doing this for you, " I touch his face and looked into the eyes that have saved me and loved me for the past few month. He looks away from me angrily. "I think you should go." He says sternly as he gets up towards his stairs. His back facing me, "Please don't let it end like this." I said walking behind him. His back stops moving and he stays there for a moment. Suddenly he turns around and did the most unexpected thing. He kisses me. He kisses me like it will be the last time, much more passion and love than any other kiss of ours. I kiss back and we stay like that until we both can't breathe I look at him as we pull away and run out. I can't look at this boy anymore because every time I did it would draw me nearer to him. I ran up to my room and cried, knowing he was on the opposite side of my window hurt me a lot. I rested my back below where the window was and ended up falling to sleep.

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xxx
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