Morsin City

21. Deep Down It's Something That Keeps Messing Us Up

Last night after the event, Kells and I talked but we just ended up arguing again because of the fact that yes they kissed, but it wasn't him who initiated it plus he said right after he pushed her off but they didn't catch that part on camera.

Then he decided to ask about Celo and I and I told him the truth.

When I did he felt attacked as I never mentioned him before.

He tried to ask more but I walked off once Nai tried to butt in.

I made it back to my hotel and little did I know, Celo had been staying in the same exact one at the same exact time, we just didn't bump into each other until now.

"Fifth floor?" He asks while letting me enter the elevator, nodding, I get in as he holds it open.

He presses the button then stands beside me with his hands in his pocket.

"Boyfriend?" He said asking about Kells.

I look to him with a raised eyebrow then scoffed, "Complicated."

Smirking, he laughs low, "Yeah, once people get to know you it's hard to let go, I should know but I had to make the right move in the past."

Shrugging, I say, "And now?"

He looks to me from the side, "I'm a man who knows what he wants and don't let others control my life and what I do."

The elevator doors open before I can respond and I walk out going to my room until he calls out my old nickname, "Preciosa," (Precious) which makes me turn while I have my hand on the room door knob, "Don't let nobody take that shine from you, you're too good for that." Thinking of Kells and I, my mind trips up on the bad that I'm having a hard time seeing the good we have between each other. Hearing the elevator close, I go inside my room to shower then to just sit in my thoughts as I dry off and put my pj's on.

An alert goes off on my phone to see me and Beck's music video for Los vas a olvidar is out and the feedback it's getting which is good with some hate.

Few minutes after that, there's a knock on my room door so I put my phone down on the bed and answered to see Kells.

"Just tell me you're not fucking him. That's all I want to know. You got history, I could see that from tonight but tell me we can work through this. I don't want us to keep fighting. If you want me to back off and give you space, I'll do that. But tell me what you want Maya. I can't read your mind. We argue just like any other couple, it's normal couple shit."

I fold my arms, "So put Nai in her place. Y'all got history right? Okay. You tell her to stop pulling the shit that she's doing and I'll make sure that Celo knows not to cross a line. Problem solved."

Sighing, he looks at me, "I swear that kiss wasn't my fault. I did push her away Maya. I did."

"But still won't tell her face to face not to even try? Bet."

Kells tries to talk to me more by coming into the room, closing the door to have more privacy instead of arguing out in the hall.

"Is that what you want me to do? Out in public? Tell her to fuck off?"

I nod, "Yes! What's so fucking hard about telling her what she's doing? And if it was because of you drinking, don't you think you need to lay off the shit? Like what more do you want me to say to you?"

"Maya–" He goes to grab my hand but I move away now getting emotional, "I fucking care for you, I do. I wouldn't even be this hurt if I didn't...I wouldn't bring all this shit up out of pure anger but because I–fuck–I even gave you my virginity Col," I say now with real pain in my voice, "I trusted you enough...loved you enough to have that part of me. So this whole going back and forth because of an ex that is jaded and wants clout off you? I'm over it. The drinking? All of it. It has to stop like I'm so serious."

His face drops knowing that he's really about to lose me.

"I'm trying Maya—I'm so fucking serious. It's not easy. I was sober for 21 days and shit happened and I relapsed. I'm trying to get my shit together Maya, I—just give me some time. If you want me to leave you alone until I do get my shit together that's what I'll do."

Sitting on the floor, with my hands on my head, tears flow out like a fucking river.

"Babe," He now says, sitting by me now embracing me.

I couldn't stop crying and he just held me.

"This shit isn't easy Col, it's not," holding me more he lays his chin on top of my head hugging me tighter, "I know...I know..." he says lowly.

I wipe my eyes saying, "We should just separate ourselves from one another. No contact and just focus on our lives without each other until we're both ready to come back."

(Play song above for this moment)

He shook his head, "I'm not doing that. I don't want you to go and I don't want to leave either," Touching my face and wiping my tears with his thumbs on both sides, he looks at me then we both take a minute then kiss each other, his hands in my hair while I start to climb on top of him straddling his waist.

The stop sign in my head flashes knowing it'll only just fuck us both up if we keep going but we do it anyways.

Our clothes come off and we're intertwined right then and there, breathing heavily, we keep our lips on each other's skin, drowning in pleasure.

The way he touched me...teased me...it just made my heart hurt with the yearning of him to continue doing so but we both knew it was just adding on to the complications we have already.

When it was over, he fell asleep beside me in bed while I laid looking at him.

With everything in me I closed my eyes hoping things would just go back to before all this happened.

Running for the hills mentally, I felt a tear drop, then me actually falling asleep too.