Morsin City

25. In Deep Vulnerability

Few days after

Self isolation has been my biggest thing these past few days.

After every interaction, interview, photo shoot, studio sessions, I've just gone back to my place in Morsin City.

Beck had tried to see me along with Vin outside of work related things but I just can't seem to actually be in the here and now.

Celo has been trying to visit as much as he can but with tour picking up he really doesn't have time.

In all honesty I didn't really want anyone near me.

As soon as I mentally stated that, there's a knock at my front door.

Opening it I see Kells drenched as it's pouring down rain.

"Fuck—I didn't know if it was a good idea to come but I needed to see if you were doing okay."

I let him inside, getting him a towel from the bathroom and handing it to him.

"I'm fine," I said sitting on the couch now.

Drying off his hair and face, he sits beside me.

"Vin told Zae you haven't been really eating and just been locked inside, I know it's been a minute since we saw each other, especially in Paris."

I nod, "Yeah Zae actually called to tell me they couldn't find you, what was that about?"

He shrugs, "I needed fresh air, I didn't want to be bothered. He took it to the extreme. I came back thirty minutes later and I was good."

Taking the pillow that was there, I held it, "I topped the charts, made it to number 5, but then I got the call about my aunt all within a few seconds," Reaching for my hand, he held it looking at me, "Not even going to tell you that it gets easier to deal with because it doesn't. Loss sucks ass. Literally. When I lost my aunt I went through a deep depression spiral. It got dark. But that's why I came over because I don't want you to go down that deep fucking hole by yourself. Even though we had some shitty things happening and we had to take a break from one another, I'm always here for you, always."

Sniffling, tears skid down my cheek, he wipes it then brings me into a hug.

"I fucking miss her," I say in mid sobs, hugging me tighter he rubs my back just comforting me.

Kells stayed with me the rest of the night holding me then we both ended up falling asleep.

The next morning he takes me to the photo shoot for my new album coming out, staying, being my support system while still handling his stuff.

"Yeah just have them put that in and tonight I'll come and touch it up before we fly out," He says on the phone while I start getting pampered.

"Skins glowing, love it," The makeup artist says.

I smile low then get put into the first look and pose, dropping any emotion but somehow doing well.

After a few shots I change and pose for the next one.

The photographer praises me but all I wanted to do was leave and curl up in bed.

"Magnificent," He kisses my cheeks then claps proudly while I get to Kells who's now standing fixing the snapback he had on, "I got to head to the studio before I have to head to North Dakota by tomorrow morning," Holding my face he says, "I'll be back right after, I'll FaceTime and text when I can," Leaning down he kisses my head then brings me into a hug.

Vin shows up with Heath as a pick me up crew, "We'll take care of her," Vin says then pats Kells on the back while Zae signals Kells that the car is outside.

I looked at Kells with a puppy eyed expression but looked down not wanting him to know I needed him more than ever right now.

"Be safe," I say then go and change into something comfortable leaving with Vin and Heath.

Wrapping an arm around me, Vin tries to crack a joke for me to laugh but I was too into my head.

"There's a screening of that movie called Breakfast at Tiffany's, want to go see it?"

I shrugged, "Sure or actually can we just go chill somewhere? Not really in the mood to watch anything."

Vin nods then has Heath open the car door for me and him as we go in the backseat.

"I'm sorry M," He says, talking about the loss of my aunt.

Nodding, I just laid my head on the window of the car, watching people walk by and cars passing through.

Heath looks to Vin in the rareview, Vin just shook his head signaling I wasn't up for anything.

Driving to Beck's unexpectedly, Beck is outside waiting with her hands in her pockets.

I looked up and looked to Vin, "What's going on?" Why are we here?"

"You need to not slip into the dark void. You gotta keep moving. I'm a hypocrite, I know. But maybe spending time with us will help."

Heath parks the car and we get out and I walk up to Beck who sees how down and out I am.

"I got GTA on and some snacks," She says and I nod, "Sure," I walk inside and see Ferin making popcorn and drinks.

All of a sudden I get the urge to throw up running to the bathroom with Beck running behind me as I do.

She held my hair back while I continued to throw up until there was nothing left to throw up.

"Shit," I say low, wiping my mouth as Vin walks in with water.

Both looked to me already wanting to say something but not sure if it would add on to the down spiral I'm going through.

"M, when was the last time you got checked? Or like you know...had your forbidden red sea?"

I shook my head, "Not possible. It's been three months. Me and Kells haven't since...Paris...and It's been irregular but I still got it," I say talking about my monthly.

Vin looks to Beck, Beck looks to me, "Maya, there are pregnancies that are irregular like that with those types of symptoms, maybe you should get checked just in case or take a test."

A baby? Right now? Fuck.

Vin goes with Heath to the store to buy the test while me and Beck waited in the bathroom.