Inescapable

Ch. 35

You had excused yourself after the initial talk with the team, citing the need for a bathroom break. But you were just in need of a break. Your anxiety was at an all-time high. When you entered the bathroom, this time you took a moment to look in the mirror; not having done so earlier. The sight was undoubtedly not a pretty one. The scar, although you're sure it is a much better sight than what it once was, was now a permanent fixture in your face. A grizzly thin line from the middle of your forehead, down your left eyebrow, continuing down and ending at the end of your cheek. You brought a hand up to it but couldn't let yourself touch it.

Right now, at this very moment, is when everything that has happened to you since arriving to the MCU collides with you all over again. All the trauma, the suffering, and the pain you've experienced comes up with a slight simple scar. Years of working through your trauma, dissolved, in a matter of seconds.

Tears welled up and you found the pressure in your chest unbearable. The arc reactor in your heart weighing ten times heavier than it had in years. Your breathing starts to come fast paced, and your vision blurs as the tears reach their breaking point and start streaming down your face. Your heart is beating so fast, that you clutch your chest in pain; falling back against the wall opposite the mirror and sliding down to the floor.

Every memory replays in your head like a horror movie; demons returning that you had long chased away. Deep down, in the recesses of your mind, you know you can't keep breathing this way; you'll lose consciousness. Deep down you know you have the tools to get yourself out of this situation, but you find yourself unable to use them now. Underneath layers of everything piled up on you, you know who you are, who you truly are. A Norn. Verdandi. This panic is nothing, means nothing in the grand scheme of things. But Y/N, the girl who fell into this world by sheer chance and fate, is lost to the inner turmoil.

Panic floods you as you can't help but fear what is going to happen next; what other trauma will you endure, who will you hurt, who will you lose? In the midst of your full-blown panic attack, you can faintly recognize someone knocking on the door of the bathroom; but can't find it in your power to answer back, much less open the door. As the corners of your vision start to blacken, you can hear the knocking turn into a pounding. Clutching your chest you try to rise, to answer, to get help. But this only exacerbates your lightheadedness, and you fall back down on your ass, hard. The darkness creeps further in your vision, when you feel a warm hand on your face. You think they're speaking, but they sound as if they are far away and underwater. But it keeps the darkness from pulling you under. A warm hand takes the one not clutching your chest and lifts it, placing it on something warm. The voice tells you something unintelligible, and repetitive.

The warmth under your hand rises and falls, controlled and rhythmically. You try to match it. Eventually, a voice, his voice, filters through. "Match my breathing sweetheart. Come on. You got this." Tony. Your rock, time and time again.

You push and make an effort to match his breaths. "That's it baby... In and out. In and out." His voice was soft, patient. The warmth under your hand continued to rise and fall, it spread up your hand, and all throughout your body. You found it easier to take a breath and dropped the hand clutching your chest. "That's it. We got this. In and out." You match his breathing, tears now streaming down your face in shame and embarrassment.

"Tones..." You finally whisper, your eyes opening to see him watching you intently.

His hands grab your face, wiping the tears from your face and pushing back your hair from your face. "I'm right here sweetheart. It's okay."

-.-

He watched her fall apart in his arms, clutching at him like a lifeline. He didn't ask, didn't question her right now. He just gave her what she needed, sitting there on the floor of the bathroom. Eventually, Tony doesn't know how long, she pulls away again to look at him. Her voice soft finally admits, "I'm scared."