Inescapable

Ch. 11

When Steve finally wakes up, Sam breaks the news about you gently. It doesn't quell the immense guilt he feels. He, against medical advice, hobbled off his bed and made his way to Y/N's room. When he sees her, and sees how disheveled Tony is, his guilt rises with bile in his throat. He regrets not listening to her sooner, it would have avoided so much.

"I'm sorry Tony. I should have listened to her." Tony smiles and tucks back her hair sweetly. Tony looks up at me and I can't hear any ill will in his voice. "You should have. But I get it. I didn't once. And I regret it all the time. I'll never make that mistake again." He turns to look at Steve. "I'm sure you won't either."

Steve nods. He won't ever make that mistake again. Tony talks, his voice low. "Your buddy saved her. I owe him. You need help finding him Rogers... count on me." Steve can't find his voice, he only nods at Tony's gesture. Steve clears his throat, the need to be honest with him drives him. "Tony. I need to tell you something."

"I already know." Steve is stopped short from his confession by Tony. "But thank you for being a good friend and telling me. I know it probably isn't easy." Tony nods his head around, "You know considering everything."

"How?"

Tony again cuts Steve off. "She told me, long time ago, and very vaguely. But after everything that happened recently. I pieced it together. The man that killed my parents is the very same man that saved the love of my life." Tony sighs. "I would call it even, if it weren't for the fact that he disposed of the people who hurt her for me, so I didn't have to dirty my hands... now I owe him one."

"I'm so sorry Tony. I should've kept her safe." Steve self-deprecates, but Tony doesn't allow it. "Don't. She won't like that. Just... just promise me." Steve interrupts him this time. "I promise I'll listen. I'll fight. I'll do anything she says. This is on me Tony."

"And it's on me too Cap. Hell it's on all of us. We haven't taken her seriously. We haven't protected her enough. That ends now."

Steve agrees. "That ends now."

-.-

You don't want to open your eyes. You don't want to be met with inescapable darkness you feared would come with death, or worse that you're still strapped to that chair. You have a vague dream of Bucky, as if some avenging angel, taking you up into his arms. You dreamt of saying sorry for the pain and horror that would forever be in his head. You dreamt that he whisked you away, you prayed that the dark angel was guiding you to a better place. A place with no pain. But you know it was a dream, because you still feel pain. You brace yourself for the harsh reality that you were still in that chair, still awaiting your death. But when you open your eyes, you see a ceiling, and come to the realization you're laying down in a bed. A quick panic overtakes you, thinking they're going to touch you, assault you again. You try and scramble up. In your scrambling you wake up a figure at your side that you didn't see. The scream rips out of you as you try to escape, the fear of them hurting you driving your adrenaline to spike.

"Honey! It's me! Calm down! You're going to hurt yourself!" The voice sounds familiar as hands grab hold of you. But it doesn't click, all you feel is trapped and cornered. You fight against the person's hold, tears joining your screams. "Sweetheart! Please!" It's his smell that finally triggers your registration. A combination of fine whiskey, metal and coffee. Immediately you stop fighting and screaming but fall into his hold and sob loudly as you realize Tony's here. Tony's here and your safe. You feel him hold you, caress your hair, shushing your sobs. "It's okay. You're okay. You're safe. I'm here. I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

But you can't stop the cries that escape you as your tears fall. You can't control how you flinch when the door slams open from doctors and nurses from your commotion. You can't control the fresh wave of sobs that go with it, knowing your time under HYDRA's grip has left a permanent scar. That thought makes you snap out of Tony's hold, reaching forward and clawing at the material covering your legs. "Take it off! Take it off!" You scream as you try to reach for the mark you remember vividly. You're met with a bandage where the mark should be. "It's gone baby. It's gone." You look up at him, your breath and heart hammering in your chest. He knows about the mark, so he has to know about...

You curl into yourself, your sobs racking your body. You can hear people talking, but you drone them out. You begin to hyperventilate, and you can feel the world spin on its axis. The last thing you hear before you black out is Tony screaming your name.

-.-

Natasha stops her running right in front of Tony, who is currently sitting on the floor in front of Y/N's hospital room door, head in his hands and his body shaking with silent tears. She hates to see the usually calm and collected man like this and hates even more that she's intruding him in such a private moment. "Tony..."

She sees his back stiffen before he rubs his eyes raw and pushes himself to his feet. It's only then that he looks at her. "She had a panic attack when she woke up. I -" he turned to look at the door then back. "I have never seen fear like that before... when she woke up. It took her a second to realize where she was." His face is solemn as he continues. "They really did a number on her Natasha."

Natasha places a reassuring hand on his shoulder before she speaks, determination in her voice. "She'll pull through it. We will all be there for her, and for you Tony." He nods in acceptance and asks her to let Steve know that he'll want to see her when he can. She nods and thinks twice about hugging him, decides against it and turns to go on with her task. She stops a couple of steps away and turns back, speaking softly. "She's stronger than we give her credit for you know?"

Tony smiles weakly at her and agrees, "she's made of iron."