When You're Bound To Love

Chapter 13

Sandile: "he's hurt. He didn't know how to bring it up. I know it's not ideal to talk about and he already struggles." Me: "he said we met 3 weeks before the accident. How did I fall pregnant?" Sandile: "well, the doctor said you could have been 4 to 5 weeks pregnant. The embryo was only beginning." Me: "and I lost him." Sandile: "it was an accident, Spho. You didn't know. I know my brother is difficult but please understand him. He was hurt." I turned around to walk out. Sandile: "He loves you." I walked to the bedroom. I lay in bed with my aching heart. I lost someone I didn't even knew existed. So why did it hurt? When I relived the memory of the clinic, was that when I lost him? My second baby. I hurt at the thought. Why did it have to be me? I stayed in bed with my wet pillow until I fell asleep. Lakhe didn't come to bed nor did he bother coming back home. When I woke up in the morning, I felt like staying back in bed but there was a knock on my door. Me: "come in." Sandile: "hi." he walked in and stood by the door. Sandile: "I just came to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or him." Me: "its okay Sandile." Sandile: "I made some hot chocolate." Me: "Do you have sleeping pills?" Sandile: "No, but there is a bottle on the bottom drawer. They belong to him. Drink one only. They're strong. Do you want some toast?" Me: "I'll manage. I need to get up and exercise anyway." Sandile: "okay." he placed the hot chocolate on the dresser and walked out. I got out of bed to make toast. I put on some butter and went to the bedroom with water and my toast. I ate and drank the pill going back to bed. Soon enough I fell back asleep....

I woke up from a deep sleep, feeling very heavy. I was uneasy. I opened my eyes and saw him standing next to the bed with his hands in his pockets. I sat up and looked back at him. He didn't say a word. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. When I came back, he was still standing there. Me: "Are you going to say something or stare at me like that all week?" he shook his head. Lakhe: "You haven't eaten." Me: "I don't feel like eating-" Lakhe: "You have to. You need to be physically healthy and strong so that-" Me: "I know, so that my brain works. It works just fine. Because when I was losing my second chance in having a baby, I felt it Lakhe, I saw it happen. When it was detaching from my body? Have you ever felt life detach itself from you?" I looked at him. His eyes were full of tears. Lakhe: "Yes." he sat down. Lakhe: "I was there." my feelings came to a still, he was in pain too, and that hurt me more. He was weak and I couldn't put him down any longer. I sat next to him and hugged him. Me: "You should've told me." Lakhe: "I'm so sorry." he blinked, closing his eyes for so long. Lakhe: "I'm soo sorry Spho." Me: "Its okay." I kissed his head. Me: "Its okay baby." Lakhe: "he was not even there, it was too early, but he existed. He was growing. He was mine." I rubbed his back. Me: "Its going to be alright." Lakhe: "I want to have a child with you Spho." Me: "When the time is right, then we will. We still have Zanno, Titi and Kay. They still need their daddy." he chuckled. I wiped his face. Lakhe: "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Me: "its fine. We'll get through it." Lakhe: "I love you Spho." Me: "I love you too Lakhe." he breathed. We lay together in bed, cuddled under the blankets. Me: "When I first tried to take them, they got so mad. I think it was Kay, she's the one with the big eyes?" Lakhe: "Yes. She's difficult. You have to start with Zanno by calling her name. Then the other two will follow. If you're whistling." I laughed. Me: "Only if I'm whistling?" Lakhe: "Precisely." Me: "I'll remember that next time." Lakhe: "When did Sandile arrive? Me: "In the afternoon. When I was feeding the girls." Lakhe: "Where does he come from? Since when are you friends? What happened?" Me: "He didn't say much. He's not that bad." Lakhe: "That's nice. So what do you talk about?" Me: "Nothing. Just stuff. We didn't even talk that long. He was just apologizing for being a jerk before." Lakhe: "Oh, must be nice." Me: "what is?" Lakhe: "Having Sandile as a friend. Why is he in my house also, I told him to leave." Me: "Sandile is used to being around you. You took a decision of just upping and leaving him alone in Durban. How would he survive without you?" Lakhe: "Firstly, he has those ghetto friends eMlazi. He never stayed 2 minutes in the house unless he's sleeping or eating. How can he not live without me?" Me: "Sometimes its not about talking to someone, but perhaps having them around. He enjoyed your presence. It made him feel safe." Lakhe: "I see. Then he can stay." Me: "Then talk to him. You're the one that tried attacking him yesterday." Lakhe: "arg he's fine." Me: "Talk to him!" Lakhe: "Only if you eat." Me: "Lets go." Lakhe: "And you no longer look like Zanno, with that little limp." Me: "How could you say something so mean?" Lakhe: "I'm sorry baby." he held back a laugh. I went to the kitchen, he went to the lounge. Lakhe: "Grand?" Sandile: "Shap bhuda." (Sure brother.) Lakhe: "sho." (sure) they both stared at the TV. Me: "Masilakhe." he looked at me. I squinted my eyes. He hid his face with a cushion. I walked to him and stared at him. Lakhe: "baby, we're not done talking though." Me: "I'm not hearing anything." Lakhe: "Okay I'll speak louder." I went back to the kitchen. Lakhe: "You're staying right?." Sandile: "I don't know yet." Lakhe: "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you." Would I ever get Lakhe to talk properly? Clearly this is the best I would get if he had to interact with other people. I made myself a sandwich and some tea and went to sit down to eat. They were watching TV and fighting over the channel. Sandile was watching Animal Planet. Lakhe wanted to watch some Crime Investigation show. I took the remote putting on Cartoon Network. There was no more argument. Lakhe: "No ways, baby. We have to watch popeye?" Me: "cartoons. Popeye is on Boomerang." Lakhe: "Same thing baby." Me: "You can go t your room and watch what you want." Lakhe: "I want to sit with you." Sand: "What about me?" Lakhe: "You don't do anything but stress me. That's all you do." Sand: "You asked me to stay." Lakhe: "What will we do with the house in Durban?' Sand: "Rent it out. I'll get my stuff out." Lakhe: "So I have to be at a hotel when I go there?" Sand: "How often will you be going back to Durban?" Lakhe: "I hear you but I'll call Jeff and see if he's willing to move there. He likes that property. I'll decide in 6 months." Sandile: "At least I trust him." Lakhe: "I'll give him a call tomorrow. What are we having for dinner?" Sandile: "I'm having pizza, Spho? I know this one hates take aways." Me: "I'm with you on pizza." Lakhe: "fine. I'll make myself dinner." he got up and went to the kitchen. Sandile called the pizza store to order. I went to take a bath in the meantime. I wore a long yellow dress and white sandals. It was around 4 in the afternoon and I don't think I was going anywhere but I didn't want to be in pajamas. I went out to the lounge, Lakhe stared at me. Lakhe: "Where are you going?" Me: "nowhere." Lakhe: "You look gorgeous. You don't want to visit your friends?" Me: "I do." my heart jumped in excitement. Lakhe: "Okay. Lets eat first then I'll take you. I'll let them know you're coming." I went to sit in the lounge with Sandile. He had his own Large pizza box. Sandile: "Here's yours." Me: "a whole box?" Sandile: "I don't share pizza." and with that, dug in. I dished two slices on a plate and ate watching TV. Lakhe brought his own food, eating as well. Vegetables and steamed fish. When we were done, we got ready to go. I took my bag leaving the house. In the garage I became so confused. There were 3 different cars. Me: "don't you have a black car?" Lakhe: "No baby. Why?" Me: "I don't know. I just had this feeling you had a black car." Lakhe: "Nope. All my cars are white. Sandile is probably likely to have a black one.." Me: "hm." I got in the big white Mercedes Benz. Me: "I have to carry a 3 step ladder for this car. This is ridiculous." he giggled. Lakhe: "You act so old." he drove me to Zingi and Dumi's house. Lakhe: "You're doing quite well." Me: "Really?" Lakhe: "Yes. There's more improvement in the work You've done." Me: "So you're spying on me." Lakhe: "I'm not spying if you leave it on the table." Me: "I don't know if I'm doing so well." Lakhe: "I know. Don't rush yourself. It will be easier." he held my hand. Me: "Thank you baby." we finally arrived, he walked me to the door. Lakhe: "just give me a call when you want to go home." Me: "okay love." the door opened, Zingi was standing there with a smile on her face. Zingi: "hello! Come in guys." Lakhe: "I'm not staying." Zingi: "aww why not?" Lakhe: "work." Zingi: "Come on, You're the boss. Stay." Lakhe: "No." he turned around and walked to his car. Zingi: "oookay. He's being weird again?" Me: "You know him." I came in the house. Zingi: "did you guys fight?" Me: "nope. We're good." Dumi: "so why is he throwing you out the house then?" Me: "I just wanted to visit my friends." Dumi: "was that your idea or his." Me: "Okay. Why do I feel like I'm being investigated?" Zingi: "Never mind, Dumi. Anyway, so Simphiwe called me. He wants me to speak to you and beg you. The nerve of that man." Me: "I met him at Woolworths." Zingi: "Yeah. He said so. He asked me if you're dating Lakhe, I told him that's not his business. He's since been begging me to give him your number so he can talk to you." Me: "Lakhe says Simphiwe cheated on me and was abusing me emotionally." Dumi: "That is true." Me: "but, Simphiwe says I paid off everything including our house when I left him. My bank statement does not reflect that." Dumi: "It's obvious who did that. Mr Long money. He's insanely wealthy and suspiciously private." Me: "But why would he do that?" Zingi: "Because he loves you. He wants to protect you from pain. He never left your side. I don't know hey, he's one in a million." Dumi: "Yeah. I give him an applause for that. Maybe he's not so bad. I might have misjudged him before." Zingi: "Lakhe loves you, friend. Don't even begin to entertain Simphiwe. He wasted your money and your life and still betrayed you. I would understand if at least, he wasn't cheating but no ways, he did too much." Dumi: "You were distraught when you found out. We were so worried." Me: "Yeah. I think I'm glad I don't remember all of this. Maybe its for the best." Zingi: "At least you know who you are." Me: "Yeah, and I recognized umama. I'm regaining a bit of my memory. I dreamt of the day she took me home." Dumi: "I'm sure she's also happy." Zingi: "Is she still around?" Me: "Yes. I'm going to her tomorrow. Spending the day. Also, I need you guys to help me with my hobbies. You must know best what I like. Maybe that will trigger some of my memory." Zingi: "That's a great idea. Is that Lakhe's suggestion? He's so smart." she bragged. Me: "No actually....his brother." Dumi: "That dodgy looking guy that's always around him is his brother??? Oh my God." Zingi: "He's not dodgy just because he likes wearing black. In fact I thought he looked a lot like Lakhe." Dumi: "That guy looks nothing like Lakhe. What kind of person only owns black clothing? On top of that, he has this dark energy around him." Me: "Its his favorite color. Apparently his car is black too. Sandile is actually quite cool." Dumi: "Its a bit disturbing." Zingi: "Anyway, does the brother live with you?" Me: "Yeah." Dumi: "Something is making you uncomfortable about him?" Me: "No." Zingi: "Yes. What did he do?" Me: "He did nothing. He just...." Dumi: "Just what?" Me: "He called the house asking for Lakhe? I asked what the problem was, he said he needed to be bailed out of jail." Zingi: "Jail?" Me: "That's not all. When I bailed him out, he asked me not to tell." Dumi: "Why? He was calling him anyway so he would have to know." Zingi: "Exactly. Why must it be a secret? Why was he in jail?" Me: "He hijacked a car. Apparently a hobby of his." Zingi: "With a brother that rich?" Dumi: "I knew it! I knew there was something dodgy about him!" Me: "Dumi please don't tell anyone about this. I have reason to feel he's not really put together in the head along with his brother. They can literally fight each other one moment and talk like they're best friends the next." they both stared at me. Dumi: "You think there's something they're hiding?" Me: "No." Dumi: "So nothing suspicious has happened?" Me: "Nope. He just sits there and eats." I couldn't tell them about the gun shot. I had already said too much. I didn't want to be caught in fire. Zingi: "Don't worry, your secrets are safe here. Just don't tell anyone else. Because we do have friends we don't tell everything to. So its best that if you want to talk, you talk with us. For example, nobody knew about your break up with Simphiwe or what happened. They don't know who Lakhe is. So don't just trust anyone that claims they're a friend." Dumi was texting on his phone. He's been on it for a bit even though engaged in our conversation he was still distracted. I don't know if I was the only one seeing it. His finger tapped lightly on the arm rest every time he waited for a response and his eyes were darty. He noticed I was staring at him. Dumi: "uBaby is right. Fez was here just yesterday asking about you instead of going to see you." Fez sent an email and I didn't respond because I didn't know what to say. He didn't seem malicious. Me: "Thank you guys. I appreciate it." we went on to talk about other useless things and soapies. Dumi: "Guys, I'll be back just now, I just want to check on something at the office quick. Apparently the alarm is on." Zingi: "You're going alone?!" Dumi: "Babe, the security company sent a car, I'm just going to check. Relax." Zingi: "Okay love." he kissed her. Dumi: "Bye hun." Me: "Bye Dumz." he left. Zingi: "Finally." Me: "What now?" Zingi: "Nothing." Me: "Its something. What's happening?" Zingi: "He's just changing man. Look at how he's dressing." Me: "Well, its not like I have something to compare with. Memory remember?" Zingi: "Oh." she showed me pictures on her phone. Meh "Urgh." Zingi: "Exactly. Now he's joined a gym, he has a trainer, he wears tighter suits. At first, I thought he was just imitating Lakhe, which is adorable. But now he has a slang too. He talks like.....like he's rapping." I laughed. Zingi: "he's going through a mid life crisis, this one." Me: "sometimes, its nice to change." Zingi: "it was amazing when I thought he was changing. I loved that instead of complaining and being grumpy, he was following a trend which is attractive. I appreciated the effort." Me: "That being Lakhe." Zingi: "His style, not his whole being. Keep up." I giggled. Me: "Alright. So Lakhe's not attractive." Zingi: "He, himself knows he's attractive. The way he walks down a passage, his legs in a perfect structure. That cologne." she sniffed. I laughed, shaking my head. Zingi: "Anyway, I'm not so sure anymore. What if he's cheating?" Me: "Dumi? He's not the cheating type. He's probably out there picking out some flowers or a present to surprise you with. He's sweet." Zingi: "Yeah. That does sound like him." she smiled. We lazed about for a while until it was dark outside. Me: "can you drive me home?" Zingi: "Yeah sure babe. Lets go.." we went to her car and she drove to Lakhe's house by my direction. She dropped me off and waited while I walked to the door I opened and waved. She hooted and drove away. I walked inside the house. It was dark. No lights were on plus all the windows were open. My heart started beating fast. I didn't know whether to call out for someone or quickly run to my room. So I slowly stepped into the passage. I walked a few steps in the darkness. Something was odd.....oh shit. I was in the wrong passage. This was home right? I would turn into the joining hall. So I took one further step and something crumpled under my shoe. I began shaking. Why the hell was I stepping on plastic all of a sudden?? I took another step. Again, plastic sound. I opened my mouth before I even yelled his name.....a hand cover my mouth and locked both my arms into one of his. "Keep Still. Don't move another step." he whispered in my ear. I nodded. "I'm going to remove my hand and carry you to bed. This never happened.. You hear?" I nodded again. He removed his hand. Me: "San-" I could feel the deadly stare in the dark. I shut my mouth immediately.....