When You're Bound To Love

Chapter 164

SPHO**

I was stunned, still standing at the doorway. The whole family was in the lounge, gleaming. What was going on? Lakhe: "Okay. This is your appreciation party Spho. Don't just stand at the door." Me: "But.. why?" Sandile pulled me in. Sands: "This is to say thank you for everything you've done for us. For this family. Bringing us together, opening your homes to us because we are everywhere you are. You deserve this." My heart melted. Me: "That is so sweet." Stella: "You're the sweet one. You've never expected anything from us. You're always ready to shower us with love. I'm really sorry my angel for what I did." Me: "It's okay ma. It's the past." I hugged her. Me: "Is this why I was forced to wear white?" Sands: "We have a photo shoot." Me: "Oh?" I laughed. Rob: "You're our glue Spho. We won't forget what you've done for us. I hope you can forgive me." Me: "Tata, it's no worry." Lakhe: "This is why we're doing this. You forgive, care and forget our wrongs. Sphosenkosi, you're God's gift to this family. To me. I'm grateful that you're the mother of my kids-" Sands: "Are you gonna propose again-" Lakhe: "Keep quiet Sandile." He looked at me again. Lakhe: "I am sorry for what I've put you through. I am sorry for not standing by you when you needed me. I am sorry for the things I've said and things I've done. Thank you for never giving up on me. You came back for me Spho, everytime. You almost lost your life twice, because of me. Again, you came for the third time while I sat in that hospital. Ready to take me back after I almost killed you-" Rob: "WHAT!!!" Sands: "Shhh." Rob: "No Sandile! Lakhe what are-" Sands: "Tata man!" He covered his father's mouth. Sands: "We're listening Lakhe." Lakhe: "I should have come back to you. I should have let you love me, the way you always have, with my flaws, my imperfections." He sighed. Sands: "Same thing. Keep going." He whispered. Lakhe: "I was a coward Spho. I was scared. I was scared of falling into that dark dangerous demonic space again. The thought, just the thought would make me cry myself to sleep. So I ran. For that, I am sorry. Once I saw you happy, I kind of snapped a bit. I snapped back to reality, to the vows I made to you. I wanted you back. I realized I couldn't stand the thought of another man holding you. So I conspired. I lied. I manipulated my way. And I failed. Truth is, I still want to conspire and lie and manipulate you back. I love you. You're the mother of my children. All 3 of them. The best mother. You're a great partner-" Lam: "Dada." Awwww. He came crawling. Lakhe: "I guess I've been talking too much. We love you Spho. All of us here." Sands: "And.... you.... ?" Lakhe: "Shut." Sands: "want...." Lakhe: "Sandile, not now." Me: "What is up with you two?" Sands: "He wants-" Lakhe held his mouth. Everyone laughed. I picked up Lam. Me: "Hey bunny. Oohhh, you made a mess didn't you? Dada." Lakhe: "Yoh. Ha.a Spho. I did enough this week. Mans poop bombs. I can't." Me: "Haibo Lakhe, he's begging. Look." Lakhe: "I'm not letting his eyes trick me again. No." Me: "Lakhe you're committing a sin." Lakhe: "What's one more?" I chuckled and went to the nursery to change Lam. Me: "Your father is something else baby. Why doesn't he want to change his little peanut? You're such a sweet little boy. Your little brother will be lucky to have you." I set him down, undressing him. Me: "You're gonna help mama change him too right? Of course you are. Where's Chris?" Lakhe: "Taking a nap." He closed the door walking in. Me: "Hey." Lakhe: "Hey." Me: "Thank you so much for this. Everything looks great out there. All of you look lovely. You didn't have to." Lakhe: "I did, Spho. I've put you through so much shit. I had to do just one small thing for you." Me: "Well, it's sweet. Thank you." I wiped Lam and disposed of his smelly diaper then got him ready for a clean one. Lakhe: "So, how's everything?" Me: "Great. By you?" Lakhe: "Fine. Fine." Me: "Can you pass me another pair of his crawl pants?" Lakhe: "Dinosaur or tiger?" Me: "Tiger." He gave me the pants and I dressed the baby. Lakhe: "When is the doctor appointment for our Unborn King?" Me: "On Tuesday. Just a check up. You don't have to come." Lakhe: "Of course I do. I want to be there for you and our baby." Me: "It's okay, honestly. I'll bring you pictures." Lakhe: "Spho. I'm clearing the whole of Tuesday. I am there. Okay?" Me: "Okay." Lakhe: "It still bothers me that I wasn't fully there for Lam's appointments." Me: "You were there. For most of them." Lakhe: "Yeah. A couple of them. I should have been there for all. I will do better. I swear." Me: "Don't stretch yourself too thin Lakhe. I knew what I was getting into making babies with a multimillionaire." He laughed. Lakhe: "You know how to stroke my ego shame." I was done dressing Lam but he was fiddling with my chest now looking for an entrance. I should have known. My baby doesn't compromise for titty time. He doesn't even care if you're dressed to kill. Lakhe: "So.. perhaps, our next baby may be a girl?" He was standing behind me now. Me: "I think I'll find out on Tuesday if it's a boy or girl. I would love a baby girl." Lakhe: "And if it's a boy?" Me: "No worries." Lakhe: "Do we try again?" He whispered in my ear. Me: "What are you doing?" Lakhe: "Sandile was right." Me: "Right about what?" Lakhe: "I love you Spho. I fucked up okay? I'm always going to fuck up but you're my salvation." I turned to look at him. Me: "What are you talking about Masilakhe Sobekwa?" Lakhe: "The reason I moved on with Miya was because I thought you didn't want me, then it got awkward last week when we got home and you were here. Then you explained that you're just dropping the kids and making them food. Then you ran off. I didn't think you were here for me. I fucked up okay?" Me: "What did you want me to do Lakhe? I can't fight." Lakhe: "I wanted you to tell me. I wanted you to stand there and tell me you love me. But you left without even an explanation and I thought of running after you but I remembered how you've been pushing me away and telling me no so I didn't want to be that guy. That's why I kept quiet. It's only recently Sandile tells me, you wanted me to." Me: "It's the past Lakhe." Lakhe: "We need to talk about this Spho. We're raising kids. Do you love me?" Me: "I do." Lakhe: "Then what's stopping us? We don't need to explain ourselves, do we?" Me: "No Lakhe. I love you, I just don't want to be with you. You've moved on, I've moved on. Now I don't know how you feel about Miya but I know how I feel about Lukhanyo and that's who I want to be with." I put Lam in his crib. Lakhe: "Yet, you love me." Me: "I'm not going to lie about that. I do." He stared at me. Me: "Don't do that." Lakhe: "What." Me: "That stare." Lakhe: "Why not." It makes me weak. I looked away. Me: "Lakhe, please. We don't need this complication." He kissed my lips. I pulled away. Me: "No." His face fell with disappointment. Lakhe: "So this is it?" Me: "Please." I couldn't stand seeing him cry. Lakhe: "I need you to look me in the eye Spho. I can't accept it if you don't." I looked at him. A lone tear traveled down his face. Lakhe: "You're choosing him? This is the end of us?" Me: "Yes Lakhe." He nodded, looking down. Me: "I'm sorry." Lakhe: "Don't be. I want you to be happy Spho. You deserve a break. If he's.. the..." he swallowed. I hugged him. Me: "Thank you." Lakhe: "It's the least I can do." I tried to pull back but he held a little tighter. Lakhe: "Just one more minute. I need it." After a little while longer we let go. A little knock on the door before it opened. Miya: "Babe?" I looked at 'babe', I've known him for a while to understand his irritated look. Lakhe: "Yes Miya." She walked in. I picked Lam up. My baby needed to eat. Miya: "I've been looking for you. Calling." Lakhe: "We're having a family thing. We'll talk later." Miya: "Okay Lakhe, the next time you decide you want to spend the day with me, please notify me by the time you change your mind." She walked out. Me: "You know she doesn't deserve that Masilakhe. You chose to start dating Miya. Regardless of your feelings for me, you chose to be in a relationship with her. Do not be cruel. That girl loves you and you can't keep putting her second." Lakhe: "You're the mother of my children Spho. You always come first-" Me: "Yes but right now I don't need you. She does. Your family is here for me. And perhaps we need a minute away from each other." Lakhe: "Why are so nice about this? Wait.. you want to guilt me into accepting Lukhanyo? That's not happening." Me: "I'm not guilting you into anything. Your affection for Lukhanyo has nothing to do with me. However, I'm not going to let you be a piece of shit to your girlfriend when I'm around because she is going to hate me and then take it out on my children. That is not right." Lakhe: "Nobody will ever hurt my kids." Me: "Masilakhe. I am not negotiating with you. Go to Miya. There's plenty of cake and snacks here." Lakhe: "Spho it's weird. My ex and my girlfriend in my ex's party?" Me: "I'm not a regular ex. I'm your supernatural ex. I can deal with things regular humans can't." I smiled. Lakhe: "I'm supposed to not love that?" Me: "Go. I need to call my boyfriend." Lakhe: "Spho, that man is NOT coming into my house!!" I laughed, walking out with Lam. I needed to find my Chrissie cakes. My pumpkin was just waking up from his nap. Me: "Hey baby." I hugged and kissed him. Chris: "Mummy. I missed you." He climbed onto my lap with Lam. I don't know how I was going to cope when our Unborn makes his debut. Me: "I missed you too my angel." Chris: "Daddy is throwing you a party." Me: "I saw it baby. It's wonderful. Did you help?" Chris: "Since morning. I got tired." Lam was reaching up for his boob by now. I needed to feed him his vegetable purity that he hates. The titty would be his reward. I know if I start with the boob, he'd never have his vegetables. Everything is tricky with this kid. Chris went to fetch his tin of purity and he fed him. Chris: "So where did you go this weekend? Did you have fun?" Me: "I did. I went to work for Uncle Sibu at his new restaurant." Chris: "And what else?" Me: "Then I went to see a friend." Chris: "The one that took you to dinner?" At times, I forget I have a genius for a child. Me: "Yes honey." Chris: "Is he your boyfriend?" Me: "Well... uhm." Chirs: "It's okay. You can tell me. Tata told me Aunty Miya is his girlfriend. She has a child too. Tata said I will meet with her next week." I nodded. Chris: "So? Is he your boyfriend?" Me: "We're still trying to figure it out honey. You don't have to worry." Chris: "I'm not worried. If he's nice to you then it's okay mama." Oh, my sweet boy. Chris: "I think Aunty Miya is nice. Not like Sis Onika. Urgh." Me: "I'm happy she's nice to you baby. You also have to be kind to her okay?" Chris: "Does your boyfriend who is your friend have kids?" Christian Sobekwa. Me: "He does baby. Lots of kids." Chris: "Really? How many?" Me: "9." He gasped out loud. Chris: "That's my whole class mama!!" I laughed. Chris: "That is too many kids. Is he gonna bring them? I hope he doesn't. It's enough I have to go through it at school not at home too." Me: "He's not bringing them sweetheart. Listen to me, your father and I love you. You're our first baby, Lam is our second baby, and this one in my tummy is our last baby. We will always take care of all of you. Nobody will come between that. I want you to tell me every time you need me. Don't ever be afraid to come to your mama okay? Sometimes, I forget and I'm busy but you must always come to me. Always Chris. Your father and I will never abandon you all." Chris: "But you don't forget mama." Me: "I know baby but there's gonna be three of you now. Sometimes mama will forget but you're my big boy and I want you to remind me if I'm away from you too long. Okay? I love you Chris." Chris: "I love you too mummy. So is he gonna bring his kids?" Me: "Not yet. I promise. Besides, his kids are a little older than you." Chris: "Older but I can assure you, dumber." Me: "Christian. No name calling." Chris: "No name calling. I cannot promise no condemna... I forgot the word." Me: "Condemnation? Christian don't go using those words. You're 5." Chris: "I have to mama. This is how I communicate with Julie." Communicate? I'm taking him to Grade 1 next year. Me: "Okay. Promise me you'll be nice to Aunty Miya and her child next week. Behave." Chris: "The girl is 3 there's not much I can do BUT behave." He sighed. Chris: "I'd have to dumb it down more than the usual." I didn't want to laugh yazi. Chris is a lot. Chris: "When am I meeting him?" Me: "Who?" Chris: "Your boyfriend who is your friend." Me: "Not for a while baby. I need to get to know if he's in good shape to meet my angels." Chris: "I am Christian Sobekwa. This is Lam Sobekwa. He will never be in good shape. It'll be better for him to adjust to the settings." Lakhe is teaching my kids arrogance. I shook my head, giggling. Lam was ready for the boob now. I let him suck happily until he got sleepy and full. Chris went to play with Boogie out in the back. I burped Lam and went to lay him down to sleep. Now time to go to my party but my phone rang. Oh yes. Me: "Hey you." Luks: "Hmm... am I being ignored?" Me: "No baby. I was feeding Lammy and having a conversation with Chris. It takes a lot of focus to do both." He chuckled. Me: "Oh. And I'm having a party. The Sobekwa's organized me an appreciation party." Luks: "What's that? Some white people shit?" I laughed. Me: "Nooo. It's a family tradition I started for them. Just a normal party to appreciate someone. So they threw one for me." Luks: "Hmm. That's nice. Am I invited?" Me: "Not this time." He laughed. Luks: "I'm a nice party starter." Me: "I don't doubt that at all." Luks: "So ndize?" (Must I come?) Me: "Nope." Luks: "He doesn't want me there?" Me: "No, he doesn't." Luks: "He's welcome in my house, anytime. I'll even cook for him." I laughed. Me: "I'll let him know. So, what are you up to?" Luks: "Chilling at home. Waiting for Soso. We're going to the race track for lunch." Me: "That sounds nice." Luks: "I want to see you." Me: "You will see me, for now I'm going to party up a storm and take shots of warm milk while you sit and relax." He laughed. Luks: "Fine. Enjoy yourself my love." Me: "Thank you. You too." We hung up. I went to the lounge where everyone was. Sands: "There she is. Here you go." He placed a crown on my head. Sands: "Our Queen." Me: "Where does this come from?" He pointed to Niny. Me: "Ncawww Neenz!" I went to hug him. Me: "Thank you so much." Niny: "Its from Siya." Me: "Tell him I said thank you. How is he?" Niny: "Worried about the queen." Me: "He doesn't need to be worried. I'm fine. Is he happy at least?" Niny shrugged. Me: "Tell him I said, he need not worry about me. I'm doing fine. I want him to be happy." He nodded. I went to Graham. Me: "Hey." Graham: "Hey." Me: "Little late for your hair cut?" Graham: "Yeah. Was busy with church revival this week I forgot all about it." Me: "I like it like this. It suits you." Graham: "Even when I tie it into a ponytail?" Me: "You can?" He pulled up his gold strands of hair into a short ponytail. Me: "Yep. Even with the ponytail." He laughed. Me: "You look well." Graham: "I am. So I hear you're seeing someone." Me: "Sandile told you right?" Graham: "I wasn't gossiping." Me: "I know. I know he and only he has the guts to tell everyone." Graham: "I take it it's not Lakhe." Me: "I'm surprised he left out the name of Who I'm dating though. No its not Lakhe." Graham: "Oh. That's... oh." Me: "What?" Graham: "I assumed you are... still together, hence the party." Me: "No. I'm not with him. He has a girlfriend and I'm dating someone else." Graham: "Oh. I see. Well, that's good. I'm happy. You seem positively happy. And glowing." Me: "I'm sure it's the pregnancy." Graham: "How's that going?" Me: "I don't know Gray, when I pray the baby doesn't seem to harm me. He's so calm." Graham: "That's good. No episodes lately?" Me: "None whatsoever. I did have a few dreams though. Queen Mother and another of Rex. He wants me to set him free." Graham: "That's a trap. Don't go near him at all. Your Unborn could be able to release him if you're anywhere near. We never know." Me: "You're right. Also, I thought about training some more. Without Kadir this time. Just the pure side. Are you in?" Graham: "I don't know how to train a Pure blood Komander Spho." I stared at him, a sudden feeling of unease settling in my stomach. Me: "So you know how to train a Full dark-" Sands: "Sphooooo!! Honey!!!" He screamed from the other side of the room, I looked at Sandile. He held a big wrapped box in the air. Sands: "Your present!" Rob: "It's not yet time Sandile. We haven't even had lunch." Sands: "I can't wait that long. Come Spho. Come see!" I looked back at Graham who has nowhere near me. He was talking to Niny in a distance. I'd get back to this. We all sat down at the table. Sands: "Open it." Me: "Okay. Don't explode with excitement, sit." He sat down. I unwrapped the box. You could tell he was pleased with himself. I flipped open the box and took out a brown fluffy medium sized teddy bear. Me: "Wooow. This is so cute!" Sands: "Right? Squeeze him." Me: "Okay." I squeezed the teddy and a whiff of Sandile's cologne filled the air. Me: "And he smells like you? Woow." Lakhe: "Sandile. SANDILE." Sands: "You're ruining the moment bhuti. Spho, Do you like it?" Me: "I love it. It's beautiful." I was in stitches. When would I need this? Sands: "When I'm not around, you can hug him." Me: "Thank you so much." Sands: "Graham, you're up. I wonder if you can top that." Graham: "I wouldn't want to." He chuckled, giving me an envelope. Sands: "Really Graham? A card? You couldn't have pinched from the Church Collection just for today?" Graham laughed. I opened the envelope. Me: "A spa treatment? That is amazing! Thank you Gray." He stood quite far away. Graham: "Niny you're up." Niny knelt down and gave me a pot plant. Me: "Awww. Thank you Niny. I'm going to name her Nila." He stood back up and nudged Lakhe. Lakhe: "Sarah!!" He yelled. Sands: "Urgh. Pathetic. You got her an assistant? Even Niny did better than you." Sarah rolled in a covered tray. Lakhe: "No, keep talking." Sands: "What is that? Food?" Lakhe thanked Sarah and pulled the tray to him. Everyone was awaiting the surprise. It was covered with a navy suede cloth. Lakhe: "This was too last minute, but I managed to get a hold of these. It's not much..." Me: "Show me already." He pulled off the cloth and I stared at the sparkles, my eyes unblinking. Sands: "WOOOW, Are you a show pony. Good going putting everyone to shame with your money and fame. Hey, here's a thought, you could've kept that for... I don't know, an anniversary or some shit." He folded his arms. Lakhe: "Jealous?" Sands: "Spho won't wear jewelery to bed. Think." He smiled. Lakhe stared at him. I was still staring at the tray of diamonds. Rob: "Are you okay Spho?" There was a diamond encrusted choker. Diamond earrings, about three pairs. A fully diamond bejeweled watch. Bracelets of diamonds. Everything diamonds. Lakhe: "I wanted to engrave your name on one of the pieces but we were short of time. I can still do it if you'd let me. Please accept this Spho. Unlike the Porsche, which by the way is still in the garage, waiting for you." I had a lump in my throat, unable to speak. How do you even... wow. Rob: "Great. Thanks Lakhe." Me: "I... I don't know what to say." Lakhe: "You love it?" Me: "It's a lot." Lakhe: "Not really. They didn't have half the merchandise I wanted. I'll have to order it from Cartier." Me: "No, you can't." Lakhe: "I can. It'll take just a few days." If I could just get some air into my lungs. Me: "I mean, you shouldn't. It's too much. It's... alot of.. I can't believe I'm saying this, alot of sparkles." Lakhe: "You love sparkles." Me: "I do." There was a thin band ring with a ginormous rock the size of a boulder on it. Me: "Jesus Christ. That's a ring?" Lakhe: "Yes." Stella: "Just so you know. The family is not impressed with you Lakhe. Could've kept this for another day. I've never felt like such a failure." Sands: "That's all he does. Shame people with his money." Me: "No. I love all the gifts, they're all equal to me. The fact that you thought of me at all means the world to me." The gate buzzed. Lakhe put the ring on my right finger. Lakhe: "Mother of my little dragons." Me: "Don't call my children dragons." Sands: "What's this doing here? You invited him Lakhe?" Lakhe: "I didn't invite anyone." He couldn't stop staring at my eyes. Lakhe: "Looks beautiful." Me: "You're not even looking at it." Lakhe: "I don't have to. Is it light? I don't want it too heavy for your hand." Me: "It's ridiculously heavy. There's like a billion carats on it." He laughed. Dumi rolled into the house. Beads of sweat collecting at his forehead. Me: "Hey." He stared at me then at Lakhe's hands holding mine. Me: "Welcome Dumi. Can I get you anything? Where's Zingi?" Dumi: "I need to talk to Lakhe." Lakhe: "Talk." He folded his arms on his chest. Dumi: "It's about that thing you asked me to look for." Lakhe: "I'm listening Dumisani. I don't have all day. As you can see." Dumi: "I take it she told you?" Lakhe: "You want me to beat it out of you?" Me: "Masilakhe!" Sands: "What's going on? What's this thing doing back in this house anyway?" Dumi: "It's Spho." Lakhe: "It's Spho what?" Dumi: "Spho sent SARS to tear down and audit your father's company, knowing the share price will plummet as it did, she bought it all. Thus kicking out the remaining board members. She launched the Youth project a week ago. She took your father's legacy." The air was stiff all around. Everyone stared at me. Guess the party was over now.