When You're Bound To Love

Chapter 59

We came back from Brazil two weeks ago. I was starting to prepare for Christmas. Lakhe was distant once again but for the past two days, he has gone quiet. I was 5 months pregnant and getting worse with regulating my emotions. As usual, Lakhe was on his phone. Staring at it like it was about to explode. So I proceeded to struggle up to a sitting position then pulled myself up and paddled like a penguin to the bathroom. Lakhe: "Need help?" Me: "No." After the bathroom stop, teeth, toilet, shower. I was back in the closet. Lakhe: "Can we talk?" I walked to him, already tired of the day. My belly was bulging out in front of me. He stared at it quietly. Me: "What do you want to talk about?" Lakhe: "I'm not feeling okay." Me: "Are you feeling sick?" Lakhe: "No. Not sick. This is the period in my life when my mother... Also my birthday. I don't celebrate it. Any of it. Not her death, my birthday or even the Christmas season. I prefer being alone. I..." Me: "So you want to leave?" I ask, trying to mask the hurt in my voice. I love celebrating Christmas. Lakhe: "You've been excited for this. I don't want to ruin it." Me: "You can never ruin it. We can do something light-" Lakhe: "I don't want anything Sphosenkosi." Me: "So what do we do?" Lakhe: "I'm going to Tokyo." I nodded and went back to the closet to get dressed. When I walked back out, he was gone. I couldn't explain the rage in my heart but I wanted to punch something. Sands: "Spho!" he knocked on my door. Me: "Go Away Sandile. I do not want to talk!" Sands: "Let me in." Me: "I don't want to let you in!" Sands: "I'm coming in anyway." Sibu: "Wait Sandile. Move aside. Spho?" Me: "Go Away!!!" Sibu: "In 3...one, two-" Sands: "I'm not waiting for that." he opened the door. I picked up my laptop. Sands: "Okay, firstly, besides that thing being expensive, It has your work and you love it so much. Please don't hurt me." he pushed Sibu in front of him. Me: "I'm checking my emails." Sibu: "What's happening? We feel a vibe in the house. Its been different." Me: "Who's been different?" Sands: "I didn't say anything." Sibu: "You're different. You're moody. Nosi has decided to go to East London. Bhuti isn't even talking to us anymore. Something is happening." Me: "Nosi is on a road trip with her friends. She'll be back tomorrow. We text." Sandile checked his phone. Me: "And me being moody, in case you haven't noticed, I have someone inside me who is constantly angry and kicking me. I don't sleep anymore. I only take 20 minutes naps at a time and pee 50 times a day. And you know that saying, that says 'you're grinding my nipples'. You know what it means? You're irritated to the point of physical pain. But the difference is, I FEEL that physical pain. There is a lot more, waaay more that I could lay out for you right now, but I'm already tired!!" Sands: "Can I call Siya to-" Me: "2........1." he jumped out the room. Sibu stood still and stared at me. Me: "Please don't test me, Sibulele." Sibu: "You can fight me all you like. As long as you just tell me what's bothering you?" Sands: "Can I come back in?" Sibu: "You chose your team. Stay out!" Me: "Lakhe isn't talking to me either, he's leaving for Japan. He isn't going to be here on Christmas." Sands: "Maybe you're coming with him? He doesn't go anywhere without you." Me: "He used the word 'I'm' not we." Sands: "Oh..." Me: "Get in here. What are you oh'ing about?" he stood by the door. Me: "Do you know something?" Sands: "Lakhe doesn't celebrate Christmas." Me: "That's what he said. Including his birthday." Sands: "Yeah. Do not even bring a balloon. He once stabbed all balloons and threw a cake in the trash threatening to burn down the house if he hears the birthday song even by mistake. That was 10 years ago. We don't do that here." Me: "You've never celebrated Sandile? Ever?" Sands: "He usually just leaves and goes sit in the dark brooding like he always does. He does come back though in a few days. Only dad knows why. He never told me." Me: "And where is dad?" Sands: "Urrrgh... With Smelly Ryan. I don't know if its old age but tata reeaally needs to get his nose checked. They're in the study. You want me to break up their meeting?" Me: "No. I'll try talk to Lakhe again." Sands: "Please don't. You are both in your sensitive states, it can only lead to fighting." Me: "What must I do then?? I still can't keep him from going to Japan though." Sibu: "Go for a check up today and follow him to Japan. As a surprise. Its romantic." Sands: "I'll call Siya." Me: "Leave Siyanda Alone. I have another doctor. Her name is Babalwa." Sands: "I thought it's Siyanda. We had fun the last time. He's so cool. What did he do?" Me: "I'm going to book now. I'll see you guys later." Sands: "Can I come with you? I want to see the baby." he smiled. He wants to see Siyanda. Why is he so obsessed with him? Me: "No Sandile. I'll bring you a picture." he squealed and danced out the room. Me: "I'll be out in a sec." Sibu: "okay." he closed the door behind him. I called Babsie to squeeze me in.