When You're Bound To Love

Chapter 61

I stood by the tables and watched my mom bowl. I was eating a cup of chocolate ice cream. Me: "What?" Siya: "Nothing." Me: "You've been following me around like a detective." and his energy feels to have doubled. I could swear there was two of him staring at me. Siya: "I'm not. Can I have some ice cream?" Me: "Why do you like to take my child's food?" he chuckled. Siya: "She's sleeping." I gave him a taste. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out looking at the caller. It was Sandile. Me: "Your best friend is calling." Siya: "Who's my best friend?" I answered. Me: "Sandile." Sands: "Spho. You locked my brother's room?" Me: "Yes I did. Why?" Sands: "I want to borrow something from him." Me: "Which is what?" there was silence. Me: "Sandile." Sands: "Just a shirt. The white one." Me: "Is it urgent?" Sands: "When will you be back?" Me: "I can come open for you. I don't mind. Here is Siyanda, we're coming." Sands: "No, I can come to you. Say hi to him for me." Me: "Sandile... I'm not giving away the key to that room. Lakhe told me specifically not to let anyone in his room without both of us there." Sands: "Oh okay." he hung up. Me: "He says hi." Siya: "Everything okay?" Me: "I'll be right back." Siya: "Where are you going?" Me: "I'm going to check what he wants. He seems jittery." Siya: "Let me come with you." Me: "No, you're gonna distract him. I know Sandile. He has the attention span of a puppy." Siya: "How am I gonna distract him?" Me: "Just stay please." on any other circumstance I wouldn't have said no, but Sandile is on a mission. He was being weirdly discreet which is unlike him because he cannot keep his mouth shut. Siya: "Fine. As long as you come back." Me: "I will." he walked me to my car and I drove away. My phone rang again while I drove luckily connected to the Bluetooth. Me: "hey." Lakhe: "Please give Sandile the key." You called from the other side of the world for a key? Hehe. Me: "I'm on my way to the house." Lakhe: "Where were you?" Me: "Home. Your mother is at the house. I'll open for Sandile." Lakhe: "Please just give him the key Sphosenkosi. That's it. That's all I'm asking. Nothing else." he hung up. Something was going on here. I just had a weird feeling in my gut. Maybe the baby was awake. Maybe she was trying to turn around. I arrived at the house and parked the car in front of the garage. Before I even stepped out the car. Sandile was by my door. On a regular day, I would've gotten a fright. Today, I actually didn't. I expected it. Sands: "You don't have to get out the car. I'll be in and out." Me: "I promise you Sandile, I will knock you down before I let you take this key. I will open the room. What am I not supposed to see?" Sands: "its nothing. I don't like bothering you. You don't have to walk all the way in. My mum is in the lounge." I got out the car. Sands: "Spho." Me: "I don't care. You're hiding something, and I'm going to find it. When I find it, I'm fighting you for lying to me Sandile. Brace yourself." Sands: "Spho I can't fight you. You're strong. Spho!" Me: "Talk." Sands: "I wanted to hide your Christmas present as a surprise. From Lakhe and me." Me: "That's so sweet! I might as well take it then since I'm here and won't see you tomorrow." Sands: "What?" Me: "You can give it to me now." Sands: "Like now? Can't I do my original plan?" Me: "No. I want my present. Go fetch it." I knew he was lying. Seriously, Sandile cannot lie to save his life. Sands: "Lakhe says you can't see it." Me: "Why?" Sands: "because he....wants to....make it a bigger surprise. You know him, a show off." Me: "okay." I walked toward the house. He followed behind me. Sands: "Spho... Wait." Me: "Sandile, I left this house a couple of hours ago. When I left my room, nothing was wrong. Your behavior is suggesting you want something from that room urgently." I got to my room and put the key in. Sands: "There's nothing Spho. Relax." I opened the door walking in and looked around. Everything was fine. Sands: "See? Go..." Me: "Okay then. But let me get my jacket first. I feel chilly. I'll leave the key with you." Sands: "Okay." I went to the closet, right next to the jackets wardrobe, was Lakhe's safe and for the first time since I've known him. It was open. I didn't notice that before. I probably wouldn't have noticed if these two didn't start acting weird. I pulled the door quietly. What. The. Fuck. I took out the white t shirt that had blood on it, it was wrapping something heavy and hard. My mind immediately flashed back to the few nights before our wedding, When Lakhe disappeared all day and half the night he came back with blood on his shirt and came straight to this safe. I remember this because I heard the sound it makes when its opened. How did it open? So he was in such a hurry that he even forgot to close his safe. This is what Sandile was looking for. I unwrapped the t-shirt seeing a gun. He just can't lie. I wrapped my jacket around it walking out. Me: "I couldn't find this jacket, and I like it. I thought I lost it." he smiled. Sands: "its okay." Me: "I'll see you later then? Please lock here." Sands: "Thanks Spho." I half jogged to my car. I was shaking and my heart raced. I shoved it under my seat and quickly drove off. I don't know why I took this t shirt wrapped gun. What was this gun doing in my house and why? I called Zintle. She picked up immediately. Me: "Babe, what happened to that friend of yours that works in forensics? His name was Butternut I think?" Zintle: "He's around, why?" Me: "Well, Sinaye wanted his number and I mentioned you know him." Zintle: "Who is Sinaye?" I don't fucking know, just bite. Me: "We met her at my bachelorette thing. Short and blond. You said you like her piercings." Zintle: "I was probably drunk and horny tshomi, I'll text it to you." I chuckled. Me: "Thank you babe. What are you up to?" we spoke for a few minutes, she was telling me about her aunt and drama before we hung up. She sent the number immediately. I called. BN: "Hi." Me: "Hello. You're speaking to Spho, ZIntle's friend." BN: "Simprah's boo? How are you?" can I just throw up? Me: "I'm okay, you?" BN: "I'm perfect." Me: "Bu, I need a favor from you." BN: "It will cost you. What is it." Me: "You still do forensics right?" BN: "Yeah." Me: "How does 5k sound?" BN: "Make it 10k and I won't involve a single soul." Me: "You're killing me." BN: "How badly do you need that test done?" Me: "As in yesterday." I hated the thought going through my mind at that moment. What was Lakhe so deeply involved in that I had to go behind his back to find out? BN: "You realize tomorrow is Christmas." Me: "I know." BN: "The lab will be empty. I'll have to work alone, meaning I'm missing family time. The least I can do is come home with a hoverboard as a present for my son and some nice perfume for my girlfriend, don't you think?" Me: "R10 000 it is then." BN: "Good. I'll send you my location, we meet at 6am. Give me what you need tested, and my money." Me: "B." BN: "Ya?" Me: "This stays strictly between us." BN: "Spho. You know me. That's why you called. I'll see you tomorrow." I hung up. My car was parked in the lot of the bowling alley. On me, I had about 6k. I'd have to wake and go to the ATM before 6am. I took a plastic from the back and shoved the t shirt and gun in it putting it back under my seat. I breathed in and out. Countless times. Then got out the car. I walked into the bowling alley. Me: "You guys are finished?" Siya: "Yeah. Mom is tired." Me: "Yeah me too. My back is sore again." Siya: "Its supposed to be getting better though, how are the classes?" Me: "They're good." I smiled. Siya: "Are you okay?" Me: "I'm fine." Siya: "Something is bothering you... What does Sandile want?" Me: "Being a baby as usual. I feel bad for leaving him alone with his family because he doesn't get his own attention the way he likes." Siya: "He's lucky to have a sister like you. Let me drive you home?" Me: "No, its okay. You go with dad. I'll see you there." Siya: "Spho, what's wrong?" Me: "Nothing." Siya: "Look at me." I couldn't. Siya: "Something is definitely wrong. What happened?" I looked him in the eyes feeling the shiver down my spine once again. Me: "Nothing is wrong." this lying thing was getting easier. Siya: "If you can keep this stare for 2 minutes I'll believe you." Me: "Fine. Let's do it." I folded my arms and looked at him. His eyes were daring and dark yet soft and kind too. Me: "Poppy." he smiled. Siya: "You remember." Me: "Shhh." I felt transported to another world. A world of bright sunshine and piggy back rides at a park. Protection from those barbaric pigeons. The giggles. Late night calls. That last kiss at the airport. With tears in his eyes. I remember. Every single piece. How.... I tried to breath again slowly. He moved closer to me. I was transfixed, I couldn't remove my eyes from his gaze. He moved closer. My senses were drinking in his cologne and the fresh mint breath almost a few centimeters from me. Khaya: "What's going on?" I snapped out of it. Siya: "We're having a staring contest." he says casually like he wasn't about to kiss me. Khaya: "You two have started with your strange games. Its time to go. Come." I quietly went to my car with our moms. I first sat in my driver seat and listened to the irregular stepping of my heart beat. Mama: "Are you okay hone-" Me: "I'm trying to breath mama." Mama: "You don't 'try' to breath. That's not natural. What's the problem?" Me: "I have breathing issues. I have to take breaks and focus on that every once in a while." Mama: "Hmm...okay. Take your time." Lorna: "I can drive for you baby." Me: "Its okay ma." I started the car and drove to mom's house. We arrived first at the house. I just wanted to climb in bed, besides the early morning and disappearing act I was to do in the morning, I was tired. The women went inside. Siya's car parked behind mine. I was standing by my car. Just dumbstruck and confused. Siya: "Spho.." Me: "Yeah?" Siya: "You remember me don't you." Me: "No." Siya: "You're a bad liar. You called me your name. You said Poppy. I am the only person besides your biological mother that called you that." I kept my mouth shut. Siya: "Talk to me please." Me: "And say what, Siyanda. I'm married." Siya: "Stop hiding behind this marriage. Just talk to me." Me: "I respect and love my husband too much to cheat on him." Siya: "Or are you scared of him?" I looked on the tarmac. Siya: "I'm supposed to be spending Christmas here with your family tomorrow. If it makes you uncomfortable I could cancel." Me: "Don't." I blurted out. Siya: "Are you sure?" Me: "Yeah.." he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight. I could almost feel my worries and stresses disappear. Me: "I should get inside." I let go of him. His hands still on my waist. Siya: "That's a good idea." I looked up at him. Me: "I don't want you to go." Siya: "I also don't want to go. But I have to. I'll be here tomorrow morning. Wake up early." Me: "I will.." I pulled away from him and walked to the house. His mother said her goodbyes and they left. I went to my bedroom, semi closing my door and switching off my light. I called my brother. He picked up almost immediately. Sibu: "hey you." Me: "I want donuts now." Sibu: "haha.. Already regretting staying behind? I said let's go. Would be getting you donuts now." we chuckled. Me: "I wanted to talk to you bout something." Sibu: "Okay. What's up." Me: "I almost kissed Siya." Sibu: "What! How?" Me: "I don't know." Sibu: "Spho. How did that happen? I thought you hated this guy." and so I went on to tell him the story of years ago up to now. Me: "its just this thing when I look at him in the eyes, like its a reassurance that everything will be okay. I feel so light and happy around him, and upset when he has to leave." Sibu: "What about Lakhe?" Me: "I don't know. I love Masilakhe. I do. Its just......very different." Sibu: "Different how Spho?" Me: "I don't know Sibulele. All I know is that I love him and then with this one. I'm not sure if its love. What if its hormones or lust? What then?" Sibu: "Well.....I can hear it in your voice you have something deep for this nigga." Me: "It can't be that deep." Sibu: "It is. You almost kissed him. My worry is that if Lakhe finds out, he will kill him with no hesitation or remorse." Me: "Do you think he'd do that?" Sibu: "I know he would. So don't even try making this Siya thing a thought. Leave him alone." I automatically thought of the t shirt wrapped gun in my car. Sibu: "A lot of people can get hurt Spho. Leave it alone." Me: "I will." Sibu: "How's the baby?" Me: "Perfect. The occasional kick here and there when I'm busy and not giving attention." Sibu: "Just like his uncle." we chuckled. Me: "I have another call coming in. Lakhe. We'll talk later." Sibu: "okay. Bye." I hung up and answered this. Lakhe: "Sphosenkosi." Me: "Hey baby." Lakhe: "Where is the t-shirt you took out of my safe?" he asked directly. Me: "Which t-shirt?" Lakhe: "Sphosenkosi." Me: "Masilakhe." Lakhe: "Where is it." Me: "I don't know anything about your t-shirt. Why would it even be in a safe? Don't you lock that thing? How would I open it?" Lakhe: "When I get there, I hope to find it exactly where it was, my love. I don't want us to be at odds." he hung up. What odds? Did he threaten me? With odds? How did he know I took it? How? How! How! He'll be back Wednesday. It was Friday tomorrow, I had a few days. I put my phone down and closed my eyes to pray. Just before I started, I heard voices. They sounded like my parents. I tip toed out of my room and listened. It was in hearing distance. Khaya: "What do you want me to do, Zama? We had an agreement. We can't go back on it." Zama: "Khaya, its enough now-" Khaya: "It can't be enough. You are the last person to tell me its enough." Zama: "It is a few hours before Christmas morning!" Khaya: "I'll be back by morning." Zama: "Can't you just skip today?" Khaya: "You'll tell him or should I?" Zama: "What if Spho finds out? She thinks we're having problems." Khaya: "You decided to raise the issue of us having problems to counter my absence." Zama: "What was I supposed to say?" Khaya: "Then figure something out tonight too. I'll see you in the morning." I crawled back into bed. My whole body in shock. My father has never spoken to my mom like that. All I wanted to do was cry. How could he be so cruel? I was disturbed my vibrating phone. Siya's text. "Home safely. Sweet dreams." I pushed my phone under my pillow. It vibrated again. Incoming call. Me: "Siyanda." Siya: "I just want to say goodnight." Me: "I'm half asleep. Goodnight." Siya: "Sweet dreams, my queen." I hung up. I didn't sleep. Not a single wink.

I got out of bed at 5 washing my face and mouth. I quickly got dressed and checked my messages to plan my route. I sneaked out the house to my car and to my horror, it wasn't there. My heart stopped beating. I was dry and so scared that my knees began to buckle. Mama: "Spho?" she was standing by the door with her gown on. Mama: "What are you doing?" Me: "My car is stolen." Mama: "No baby. Your dad put it in the garage after Siyanda and his mom left." I felt a sense of immediate relief fill a hole inside me. Me: "Where is the key. I have to go." Mama: "Where to at this time?" Me: "I'm going for a drive mama. I need some fresh air." Mama: "okay." she gave me the keys and I went to my car in the garage. First thing I did was check for the plastic and t shirt. It was still there. I drove out to the ATM withdrawing the remaining cash and went to B's place in Humewood. We met at his gate. Me: "hi." BN: "Sho. You're carrying?" Me: "Yeah. Is there a chance I can get back the results by Monday?" BN: "No. Probably Friday next week." Me: "Just do it as fast as you can. The sooner the better." BN: "Okay. Will do. Go before someone sees you." I gave him everything and left. I didn't want to go back home. I didn't want to see my father. Although there was no way to avoid it. I could go home and hide in my room until the guests arrived and then I wouldn't have to talk to him. Sounds like a plan? Unfortunately for me, its not. There is his car parked out here. I parked mine walking in the kitchen. Both of them stood there. Zama: "How was your drive sweetheart?" Me: "Perfect mama." Khaya: "Where did you go princess?" How could he? I closed and locked my bedroom door without responding. I looked for clothing to wear. I can't remember when last I had such a heartbreaking Christmas. I hated it. After taking out my dress and ironing it, I went to the bathroom. My dad was still in the kitchen cooking with mom. I don't know why they're making me this fragile child. Why can't they just let out the truth? I soaked and bathed myself. When I felt good and ready, I got out and walked out to my bedroom. Khaya: "Are you gonna help us with lunch honey?" Me: "No." I went in my room. Khaya: "Spho." I began getting dressed hearing a car outside. I went back to bed with my fleece blanket. Lorna and Siya were arriving that side. How could I pretend? I took out my laptop and went through my emails, doing a bit of work also. Siya: "knock, knock." Me: "Come in." he walked in. Dressed in a long sleeve white shirt, two buttons undone at the top, he had on navy blue tight fitting pants. And his fancy brown shoes. He smiled when he saw me. Siya: "I hope you're playing a game on that laptop and not working. You already look good being lazy." he sat on the bed. Me: "My father will chase you out of this bedroom, no matter how much he likes you." Siya: "I'll wait until he does.." Me: "Where are you going? You look so fancy." Siya: "WE. Are going to church with mom. It starts in an hour. Are you ready?" Me: "I was not told of this." How can I have this attitude in the house of the Lord? Siya: "I'll wait in the lounge." Me: "okay." I got up, closing the door behind him.

narrated**

He stood outside the house going through his cellphone. Khaya: "Why are you avoiding me?" Siya: "I'm not." Khaya: "You're not taking my calls." Siya: "Because you're pushing too hard. I don't like it. I know you're trying your best to get me what I want but its time for you to back off now. I've got it handled." Khaya: "Oh?" Siya: "I mean it." Khaya: "Fine. But if you need anything-" Siya: "You'll be the first to know." he locked his phone. Siya: "Mama? Its time to go now." Lorna: "Okay! Zama, let's get going. We'll finish cooking when we're back." Zama: "Okay." Khaya: "We'll follow. You can go ahead." I walked out the house. I was really tired. You could probably see it in the way I walked. Khaya: "Spho, you'll be with us." Me: "I'm taking a ride with Siyanda and his mom. I'm not going to wait while the both of you fake love each other and pretend like all is well. Treating me like a fragile child that's going to break to pieces if you were honest." Khaya: "What are you talking about?" Me: "Dad..... I'm going to church. I don't want to be upset. Please." Khaya: "I upset you now?" Siyanda opened the door for me. I slid into the backseat and sat myself comfortably closing the door, driving us to church. Khaya: "What just happened?" Zama: "I don't know. She was acting weird in the morning." Khaya: "What does she mean fake love? Do you think she heard us?" Zama: "Probably." Khaya: "Do you think we should tell her?" Zama: "Not yet Khaya. Not until you sort all of it out." Khaya: "Zama. I don't want her upset. I'm going to tell her!" Zama: "NO! Just wait. Put on your brave voice for your family and hold on." Khaya: "Fine." .......