When You're Bound To Love

Chapter 50

The car stopped at the graveyard. The night was dark with a little fog that looked like steam in the air. My heart was racing in my chest. Sands: "Let's go." he got out the car and opened the boot. Me: "I can't go there Sandile." Sands: "Spho, you have to." Me: "I can go to the bank and explain that I'm his wife." Sands: "This will be quicker. I promise." Sibu got out the car. Dumi had to stay behind. How I envied him right now. Sands: "Which way is it?" he held the shovels in both his hands. I walked quietly and carefully as to not wake the dead. If that's even a thing. I was just scared. There was nothing normal about this. Me: "What if the security guards come?" Sands: "I took care of that." we arrived at Nolitha's grave. Me: "What if there's a body in the coffin?" Sands: "Then there's a body in the coffin. Move the stone Sibulele." Sibu: "How?" Sands: "Am I the only one willing to go through with this? I'll be sure to tell bhuti how his family treats him." Sibu: "I've never moved a tombstone before! How the hell am I supposed to do it?" Sands: "Knock it over. It needs to be away when we dig so that it doesn't tip over when you're inside." Sibu: "When.....when I'm inside?" Sands: "Just do it." Sibu tried to remove the stone, Sandile helping him. They put it aside and started digging. Me: "I'll be in the car so long." Sands: "Spho." Me: "I'm pregnant. It's cold and there's dead spirits walking around. I can't be in a cemetery!" Sands: "Okay. You can go." I ran back to the car and locked it when I was inside. Dumi: "What are they doing?" Me: "They're digging. Why would Lakhe keep money in a grave? That's insane Dumisani!" Dumi: "He is insane. It was the best way to keep it from the wondering eyes." Me: "He could've kept it at the house." Dumi: "Spho, don't think too much about this. At least now you have the bail money." Me: "I don't like being here." Dumi: "Neither do I. But we're together by tomorrow we'll be laughing about this. Don't worry. Just take deep breaths in." I took a deep breath. And again. Me: "Its not getting any better." Dumi: "I know. I've been trying all this time. You want to talk at least?" Me: "About what." Dumi: "I admire how strong you are Spho. You dealt with this calmly and You've been keeping a level head." Me: "Yeah well...I have to honor my vows. For better and for worse." Dumi: "Now you're making me feel bad." Me: "For what." Dumi: "I feel like I'm abandoning her. Is it so bad that I left her after she'd tried to kill me? I also did her wrong and I don't know what I would've done if I was the only one that did wrong. She would have forgiven me." Me: "What do you feel in your heart?" Dumi: "I still feel resentment. Anger." Me: "And how do you think she feels." Dumi: "I don't know." Me: "Dumisani. You were in a relationship with another woman. It wasn't just casual sex. You let your side chick, to be in your life. As second in command when Zingi isn't around." Dumi: "She also slept with Sandile. And other men too." Me: "What she did was wrong too. I think the both of you should go to therapy and let out all your feelings and frustrations, not only for yourselves but to be able to continue raising your children together. All this tension and anger isn't good for the kids." Dumi: "I don't trust her though." Me: "I know. Its going to be difficult but what will you do? Christmas is soon how are you going to separate yourself from your kids and your kids from her?" Dumi: "I don't know. I haven't thought about it yet." Me: "Just see a doctor together. I love the both of you very much. Its not nice to see you apart like this. I'm sure your kids don't enjoy it either." Dumi: "I know..."

2 and a half hours later, Sandile walked to the car with a big block of plastic. Sands: "This one block is probably a million Rand if not more." it was 200 Rand notes stacked neatly. Me: "That is impossible. Probably half a million." he put it in the boot bringing back more. Sands: "We're almost done guys." Me: "How big is this coffin?" Dumi: "I know right!" we waited another hour. Sibulele didn't look very well. Sandile drove us home. When we arrived Sibu took Dumi inside. Sandile took the plastic blocks of money. Me: "Sibu." I knocked on his door. He didn't respond. Me: "Sibulele?" Silence. I went to Dumi's room. Me: "Dumi?" Dumi: "Come in." I went in. Me: "Where is Sibu? Is he okay? He didn't look fine." Dumi: "Probably in the shower. He said he's leaving tonight. He's going to his mom's house." Me: "Do you think something happened there? At the graveyard." Dumi: "I'm not sure. He didn't say anything to me." Me: "Dumi I'm worried about him." Dumi: "Sphosenkosi, stop worrying about everyone in this house and go rest." Me: "Dumisani, everyone that lives in this house is my family. I have to worry about them! I'll go wait in his room." I went to Sibu's bedroom and sat on the chair. His room was always neat and clean. No clothes lying around. Bed always made. Dressing table spotless. He walked in the room draped in a towel and wasn't even surprised to see me. Me: "What's wrong?" Sibu: "I just spent an 2 hours of my life in a grave. Something about it doesn't seem natural." Me: "I'm sorry you had to go through that." Sibu: "Its okay..." he opened his wardrobe and looked through the ironed, folded t shirts taking out three. Sibu: "The whole time I was in there I was thinking about my dad. What he might've looked like, what kind of person he was, where he could've gone......then it hit me." Me: "What hit you?" Sibu: "What if he's dead..." Me: "But...how?" I swallowed. Sibu: "What if my mother killed and hid his body? Now she can't live with herself because of it." Me: "Sibulele that can't be the reason." Sibu: "I don't know what to think anymore Spho!" Me: "Okay, get dressed and ready. I'll drive you to your mom's place. At least I'll know where you are. I have a feeling you might not want Sandile to come-" Sibu: "I don't." Me: "I'll wait in the lounge." I walked out. I waited in the lounge with a bag of chips. Sands: "You are really murdering the snack cabinet, aren't you." Me: "Sandile." Sands: "What did I do now?" Me: "Nothing..." maybe Sibu wouldn't appreciate me talking about him being uncomfortable to Sandile. Men can be a bit cray cray too. Sands: "Am I gonna have to tickle it out of yo-" Me: "I will stab you dare you try." Sands: "Then tell me what is the issue." There's just so much going on in this family. Especially between the three boys. Why couldn't they sit and talk it out? Dumi can't talk about his personal problems because Sandile is part of them. Sibulele has a problem and can't talk about it either. Sandile is the only one relaxed. Is it possible that he's a bully? Sands: "I don't like the way you're looking at me." Me: "I don't like how you forced us to go to a graveyard at night." Sands: "What?? Excuse me, but who is this helping? All of us want Lakhe out of there! I must be the only one working? Is that not bullshit?" Me: "There's no need for you to be rude. You could've paid someone else to do it." Sands: "This is family secrets Sphosenkosi Sobekwa. It remains in the family. If we don't got each others back. No one else will! I did what Lakhe asked of YOU to do, if anything, he is who you should be mad at!" Sibu: "I'm ready." he walked out the door. I followed him. Sands: "So that's it ?? You're leaving? WOW." I started the car and drove out. Sibu: "He does have a point." Me: "I know. I just don't know why I'm mad." Sibu: "You have two brains inside you, they're not always gonna be in sync." Me: "hehe..." Sibu: "Thanks for having me in your house. I really felt close to you. Felt like family." Me: "You still are. You're welcome home anytime you want." Sibu: "Thanks.." Me: "Sibu, does Sandile ....force you to do things?" Sibu: "Things like what?" Me: "Just anything." Sibu: "No." Me: "So you don't feel obliged to do things because of him." Sibu: "Turn left here." Me: "Sibulele..." Sibu: "Sandile has been nothing but good to me. I don't feel obliged to him. He's my best friend." Me: "omething about that makes me very uncomfortable Sibulele. If there's anything at anytime that you want to get off your chest, never hesitate to call me." Sibu: "Ok." after a long while, we drove into Zwide. He directed me. I wasn't really sure of this place but it scared me a little. It was very dark. The street lights were one for almost every street. Me: "Sibu are you sure you want to live here?" Sibu: "Yeah. You can stop at the third house." I made a U-turn and parked. Me: "Okay. I'll text you when I'm home. Do you need anything? Cash?" Sibu: "No I'm sorted. Thanks. Drive safe. Don't stop for anyone." Me: "Okay. Let me see you go in." he got out the car with his army green bag and went to knock on the door of the small house. There was no response. He knocked again and again. A small light, probably a candle lit up inside the house. Me: "Sibu, please get you mother so we can g back home. It'll be better for her there." Sibu: "Spho, Go Home. Go." I didn't like the idea of a candle being lit in the middle of the night by someone who has a problem with alcohol. Why couldn't Sibu let me help him? Sibu: "Sphosenkosi." Me: "Fine." I started the car. The door finally unlocked and the old woman opened. I looked at her then quickly looked away. Sibu: "I'm in!" I drove away like the wind was blowing my car. I had tears in my eyes. The woman who had raised me, who had let her husband abuse me, who'd ignored me was Sibulele's mother. My heart hurt so badly. After everything I'd forgotten, she was a vivid painful memory of my childhood and I could still feel the hatred in my heart. I parked the car outside my house. The front door opened. I got out the car. "Spho..." I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. Me: "Oh God, no...." Simphiwe: "What happened?" he hugged me. Me: "I'm married!" Simphiwe: "Yeah, I heard. Congratulations Mrs Sobekwa." one of his friend's came out of the house. "Simprah?" Simphiwe: "Svig. I'm gonna need you to leave. Please talk to the bros." Svig: "Hi Spho. You good?" Me: "I'm fine." Svig: "I'm okay. I'll talk to the guys." he walked back in. Simphiwe: "Spho, I told you the last time you came, you have to take your house back. It's not mine it was wrong of me to keep it." Me: "The last time?" Simphiwe: "Yes, you came over when I was packing." I did not. That was a dream. I stared at him. The guys came out the house. They said their goodbyes. Simprah: "I'm sorry guys, can we reschedule?" Svig: "No problem. You'll call when you're ready.." they got in a car and left. Simphiwe: "come in." I followed him inside and sat on the kitchen stool. Me: "I saw my mother." he boiled water for tea. Simphiwe: "How is Sis Zama? I miss her and your cooking on Sundays." Me: "Not Sis Zama. My biological mother." Simphiwe: "What did she want." he stopped moving. Me: "She didn't see me." Simphiwe: "Where did you see her?" Simphiwe: "There's a friend of my husband that lives with us. I offered to drive him to his mother. He said she wasn't coping. When I dropped him off. I saw her open the door." Simphiwe: Sso this guy is your brother. Remember how you always said you felt like in another life you had a brother. That is hectic Spho." Me: "I drove away as fast as I could. I can't face anyone. I'm so scared Simphiwe. I don't even know how I drove all the way here!" Simphiwe "Spho...this was your safe space." Me: "Where is your wife?" Simphiwe: "She left. Took the child too." Me: "Why." Simphiwe: "it wasn't working out. Then, Svig, invited me to a Brothers Union." I giggled. Me: "What is that?" Simphiwe: "A group of guys that get together once a week. We discuss our problems and give each other advice on how to deal with them. I've been taught how to treat women, how to take care of my living, no more alcohol. Its been difficult but I'm coping. As you can see, the house is spotless, no beer bottles or smell of even when my friends just walked out." Me: "I'm sorry I ruined your evening." Simphiwe: "You didn't ruin my evening. I've spoken about you, they understand." Me: "I have to go now. It sure feels good to have my heart rate back in its place. Thanks for having me." Simphiwe: "Spho..?" Me: "Yeah." Simphiwe: "I never got to say I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart I truly apologize for everything I did to you. Sphosenkosi, you're a gift, a blessing to anyone you come across. You are warm, caring, God knows you want to save the world and you have that strength about you that I feel like you really could. I lost half my mind when I lost you. I was stupid, Spho. I should've married you when I had the chance. Lakhe saw the opportunity immediately and didn't take it for granted. Tell him I say, congratulations, the best man really did win. Stay blessed Spho. Stay the respectful, caring woman you always have been." Me: "Thank you Simphiwe. Kiss Buhle for me the next time you see him." he checked the time. Simphiwe: "I'll do so." I walked to the door. Simphiwe: "And one more thing.." Me: "What is it." Simphiwe: "Please sell the house. I can't stay here anymore. It rightfully belonged to you and it was wrong of me to take it in the first place." Me: "Simphiwe, its okay. I said you can keep the house. Your son must have a safe place to come visit you in." Simphiwe: "Its not about that Sphosenkosi. I genuinely can't live here." he had tears in his eyes. Simphiwe: "I don't even sleep here. Do you see how spotless this place is? My car is parked on the lawn because after these meetings I leave!" Me: "Why?" Simphiwe: "Just...please. Sell it. You still have the title deed. Lakhe only paid the balance." Me: "Simphiwe I'm getting confused now." Simphiwe: "I have to go, you have to go too. Just sell the house." he switched off the lights I walked out, getting into my car. Me: "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on." Simphiwe: "its nothing." he locked the house. Me: "Simphiwe! What's going on? Is it because of me?" Simprah: "No. Its not you." Me: "Then." he looked into the dark passage that led to the back yard. Simprah: "Spho..." Me: "What?" I tried looking but didn't see anything. He climbed into the passenger seat shaking. Me: "Simphiwe are you okay?" it looked as if he was hyperventilating. I looked around the yard, in the far corner I saw a shadow quickly pass. Me: "What the hell was that." Simprah: "Drive." I started the car and drove away from the house. Me: "What's happening there, Simphiwe." Simprah: "This is gonna sound crazy." Me: "Tell me." Simprah: "Someone walks in the back yard during the night. He grunts and makes noises." Me: "You can see him?" Simprah: "No. I can't." Me: "How do you know its a he?" Simprah: "No woman grunts like that. He sounds like someone that's upset or angry. It always starts after midnight. When I wske up in the morning when I still stayed here, there'd be footprints on the paving. When my brother came over once, he was smoking outside and he said he saw someone sitting by the wall. When he moved closer, he disappeared." Me: "When did this start?" Simprah: "A few months back. I left with Buhle's mom going out of town. We left the gardener a key for the gate. When we came back a few days later......the grass in the back had been removed only soil remained. I haven't been able to get a hold of him till today." I swallowed. Me: "Where do I drop you off?" Simprah: "At my mom's. I'll fetch my car in the morning." Me: "Simphiwe....what do you think happened?" Simprah: "I don't know. Maybe it's witchcraft? But why though?" Me: "What if he died there...and that's who you're hearing." Simprah: "What do you mean." Me: "what if someone killed him?" Simprah: "You think he's buried in my back yard? No, that wouldn't make sense. Everyone loved him. He gardened for everyone at our street. Who would do such a cruel thing?" Me: "I'm just grasping at straws here." I parked at his mom's house. Simprah: "So...what do you suggest I do? If I call the police to dig and they really find his body there they'll say it's me. Oh my God...." Me: "Calm down. How about first you contact someone?" Simprah: "Who is someone Spho!" Me: "A healer. They'd know better. Tell your mom. She might know what to do." Simprah: "I'm sorry I involved you in this. I thought I could keep it in. I just can't take it anymore." Me: "Talk to your mother. She'll know best what to do." Simprah: "Okay. Thanks. Drive safely okay? It's late." Me: "I will." he got off the car and went inside the house, I drove home.

I walked into my house just before midnight. Sandile was on the couch. Sands: "Sibulele has been looking for you." he said while staring at the TV. Me: "I had errands." Sands: "I thought he was your errand." Me: "Sandile, I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier. You did this for the family and I'm grateful because I couldn't stomach it. I was upset for no reason." he looked at me. Sands: "Where were you." Me: "I went to see a friend." Sands: "All your friends don't know where you are. We were all worried sick. You weren't answering your phone. It is literally the middle of the night." Me: "I left it in the car by mistake." Sands: "So which friend is this." Me: "I can't talk about this right now Sandile." Sands: "Oh so you'd rather wait until Lakhe gets here." Me: "If you know where I was why are you asking me?" Sands: "I don't know, that's why I'm asking." Me: "I'm tired." Sands: "We all are. Midnight just struck. Who is this mysterious friend?" Me: "I can't say." Sands: "So its a man." I crossed my arms. Sands: "I'm not as judgmental as you think I am Spho. I thought you knew that by now." I sat down. Me: "You remember I told you I ran away from home at a young age." Sands: "Yes." Me: "I haven't seen my biological mother since that day all those years ago......until tonight." Sands: "Are you serious? Where? What did she say?" Me: "She didn't see me. I recognized her immediately, I don't know how." Sands: "Where?" Me: "She's Sibu's mom too." Sands: "MY Sibu?" Me: "OUR. Yes. She opened the door for him and let him in." Sands: "Does he know that?" I shook my head. Sands: "So you're brother and sister." I nodded. Sands: "And in your little caucus meetings, this never came up?" Me: "Nope." Sands: "What did you do next?" Me: "I drove away as fast as possible. I was crying. I was hurt. My heart was burning with hatred. By the time I realized, I was parking my car in my old driveway. Simphiwe came outside and found me there. Hysterical. We spoke for a while, until he started acting weird. Almost emotional." Sands: "What else is new?" Me: "Apparently, there is something that walks in his back yard at night. An unsee-able man." Sands: "unsee-able? How? If he's unsee-able how does he know it's a man?" Me: "He says, 'it' grunts and makes noises. He wakes up to foot prints on the paving. He doesn't even sleep there anymore." Sands: "Serves him right. Its not even his house. He'll be fine." he clicked on the remote. Me: "You don't think its weird?" Sands: "What is?" he looked absolutely unbothered by this entire story. Me: "That there's a ghost in Simphiwe's house, you know what else is funny? Months ago, Simphiwe and his girl left town and gave a key for the gate to the gardener. When they came back, days later, the entire back yard didn't have grass, it had been removed. Only soil remained. The old man was nowhere to be found. Now this." Sands: "I'm sure the old man is fine wherever he is." Me: "What if he was buried in the yard?" Sands: "Its not the gardener that was buried in that yard." Me: "But if its not him, where is- .........wait, what did you just say?" Sands: "You heard what I said." Me: "SANDILE!" Sands: "Its late. You need to get some sleep. Hubby is coming home tomorrow. Go rest." Me: "You know something!" Sands: "I'm not going to repeat myself. I am not Masilakhe." he got up and went to his room.

Wednesday morning I was still sitting in bed. I hadn't slept a wink trying to digest what Sandile had said. My head hurt so bad. 'Its not the gardener that was buried in that yard.' Then WHO! He knew!!! That's why he wasn't surprised. Dumi: "Spho." he knocked on my door. Me: "What." Dumi: "Are you ready to go?" Me: "Where to?" Dumi: "Uhm, to court." Me: "Go without me. I'm not feeling well." Dumi: "Do you need anything?" Me: "No. Just wanna be left alone." Dumi: "Okay." I heard him wheel away. I honestly didn't feel like seeing Sandile. He just frustrated me. I waited until I heard the car pull out then got up and showered and got dressed. I went to find food in the fridge. Everything I had to make from scratch. I didn't feel like a full English breakfast. I took my cookies left from yesterday going back to my bedroom. I wonder how Sibu was doing. I haven't responded to any of his messages. A part of me envied him. He grew up away from the torment and pain. I had to endure it on my own. I had no relationship with my mother and he could. He had the chance. I couldn't allow that chance because it hurt. Good God, this is so complicated. My phone rang. It was him. What now.. Me: "Hello." I answered. Sibu: "Hey. I was worried sick about you, Spho." Me: "I'm fine. How are you?" Sibu: "I'm good. Just wanted to check on you, you're in court?" Me: "No I'm at home. You?" Sibu: "I can't. I'm calling hospitals and visiting morgues today. I'm trying to find my father. I guess its inevitable now." Me: "Inevitable?" Sibu: "Spho, nobody just disappears without a trace like this. I should start accepting it... From people I've asked, its unlike him to vanish." Father in heaven. He didn't!!! Sibu: "Spho?" Me: "I'm...here... Sibu, I have to go." Sibu: "Okay. We'll talk later then." I hung up and went to the bathroom throwing up in the sink. I shook my head trying to get rid of the image. I washed my mouth. 'Its not the gardener that was buried in that yard.' I heard Sandile's voice again in my head. Me: "No...." 'Its not the gardener that was buried in that yard.' Me: "no...."