𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 was raised from the ground up knowing nothing but comparison and perfection.
She compared herself to her successful parents, supermodel sister, and glamorous friends. Instead of love, she harbored a raging jealousy for nea...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
S i m o n e
✢
--------------------------
4 Years ago 1 Day before Hospitalization
I am worried that one day everyone I know will wake up and realize I'm not worth their time anymore.
I am worried that I'm starting to realize I'm not worth my own time.
I crave attention so badly that it tears at my insides. It leaves me ravenous and spoiled, violently thrashing against my bones at all times as my heart begs to sing out to someone; to be sung to instead.
I wanted someone to be so desperately attracted to me, so desperately entranced by me that I'd serve as their inspiration to love harder; not in a sexual way, but in an intimate way. I wanted to be someone's muse.
Just to prove that I could be adored.
But I'm not going to embarrass myself begging for something I've never, and will never receive. So instead I rage quietly.
Media had taught me a lot about what it meant to be a good anorexic. I consider myself to have high-functioning anorexia. I'm not as sick as the other girls. But I don't want to be as sick as them. Not everyone is willing to abide by the "through sickness and through health" idea so there was no point in trying to starve to death.
Just enough to be perfect for whoever wants to put up with me.
"Coming to dinner?" My bedroom door flies open, revealing it to be Mira.
Her face is completely done up, makeup caked on to perfection. Did she have a shoot today? It could've been the Christian Dior one, but I thought that wasn't for another 4 days...
I take a second too long reply, and her face morphs into a telling one, the face of someone who had asked a rhetorical question but gotten their answer anyway. "Dinner for what?"
