𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 was raised from the ground up knowing nothing but comparison and perfection.
She compared herself to her successful parents, supermodel sister, and glamorous friends. Instead of love, she harbored a raging jealousy for nea...
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S i m o n e
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Last night was embarrassing, to say the least.
I genuinely think my embarrassment was enough to temporarily snap some sense into me.
Seriously, Simone?
Who knew I was a depressed and suicidal drunk? Oh wait, I knew that. And usually, I didn't care but having to be that in front of another person was the worst thing I'd ever experienced.
See if I had that meltdown completely alone, I'd be okay with that. But in public? With Nico finding me?
And even worse, I was still alive. Did I really plot my whole death and then finally come to terms with it just for him to magically appear and take me back to the hotel?
Maybe I wasn't ready to die if I followed him so easily. But it was hard to tell.
I'd have a moment of happiness and joy and think life was worth it and then I'd be shit on all over again.
Jesus Christ, it was a life-changing amount of embarrassment.
To emphasize this, I was so extremely humiliated that I woke up, and got ready for the day as if nothing even happened.
As I was brushing my teeth, it dawned on me that I was somewhat okay with still being alive too. I can't imagine doing all that over a man, and with no note. Why did it matter if Nicolas cared or not?
I've spent my entire life never being really desired, why did I suddenly crave his care and attention so badly that just seeing him with another girl was my tipping point?
Was I insane?
I really had lost my pride if that was what made me so frustrated last night. And I suppose being wasted didn't help.
I knew this embarrassment would last just a few hours or maybe days until the night came and with the darkness would be every memory and emotion I worked so hard to ignore during the day.
