𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 was raised from the ground up knowing nothing but comparison and perfection.
She compared herself to her successful parents, supermodel sister, and glamorous friends. Instead of love, she harbored a raging jealousy for nea...
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N i c o l a s
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It's like something had flipped in my head.
I'd been in a cycle of anger and regret and anger once again, flipping back and fourth between the 2 emotions. The rage always lasted longer.
Anger at everything and then anger at the fact I fucked up enough to regret something in the first place. The regret lasted just long enough for me to open another bottle, pour another shot, and let the effects take control before I was upset again.
I skipped out on work. Partly because I went in to the office yesterday and was immediately yelled at by Morgan when I tried to fire her secretary. It was a long story, and my fault as I got out on the wrong floor and when her new secretary tried to explain I couldn't go into my (Morgan's) office I lashed out.
But I also skipped work because I woke up still drunk from last night and couldn't get myself to sober up enough to drive before I was back to drinking.
I was usually a happy drunk, one of the reasons I turned to a drink at the end of a hard day. It relaxed me, it made me feel young and stupid again. It was the most reliable distraction I'd ever indulged in. As of the past few days I'd just been bitter. Which only scared me more, because now that I'm actually struggling with drinking I'm also becoming a raging dickhead. I was becoming my Father, even more so.
Grand-Pere and Grand-Mere went home, as Grand-Mere's mama who was somehow still alive, excuse my manners, couldn't spend the holiday alone.
So now I had the house all to myself again and it was both relieving and enabling.
Or I had had the house all to myself. Until Yun came slamming down my door -- I never should've given that dimwit an extra key -- and right up to the couch I was sulking on while watching mindless TV.
"Are you fucking kidding me man?" He snapped, shoving my shoulder hard against the couch.
I looked up wearily, not really able to move much faster. I was a good two or three shots away from passing out. "Yun."
