{DROPPED}An Arranged Marriage//(GIYUSANE)

Chapter 11|| 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄

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SANEMI POV

The afternoon had melted into evening, the clock ticking past 6:30 PM. I was still glued to my phone, scrolling through endless feeds, my room a testament to my day's inactivity.

My life felt like a stagnant pond, with no ripples of excitement. But then, a notification popped up, a message from someone.

As I saw who the person who messaged me was, I quickly jumped out of bed and opened the message. My mood brightened, and a smile formed on my lips. But it faded so fast.

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Kanae

"hi sanemi"

"I hope you're doing fine"

"I just received the news from my father. You're getting an arranged marriage"

"we're in the same station"

"I don't know when I'm going back. This marriage is to continue our genes. I don't know, my parents don't want me to marry you. I couldn't understand them. I tried to explain, Sanemi. I'm sorry, but I hope you'll be happy with the person you're getting married to."

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As I read the long message she sent, tears started to stream down my face. I felt my heart pounding so fast against my chest, it hurt.

So this is what Dad means? She's in the same situation as me.

She's getting married, but not the same as me. She's getting married to continue their genes. I'm getting married for the company's sake. Mine's only a year. Hers is forever.

That means, I don't have a chance now. I couldn't marry her anymore.

Do her parents hate me because of my face? My ugly scar? This ugly scar on my face?

If only I didn't have this scar... Fuck.

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I drive off in my car, going to a bar and spending the rest of my day there. What's the actual meaning of my life? It's all meaningless from the start. Why am I even living? For what? To suffer?

From the start, I've been suffering. From the start, I can't be happy without remembering those days. I can't even sleep without a nightmare.

I can only enjoy myself when talking to Obanai and Masachika.

It feels like my life is meaningless, only existing for the sake of others, and the trauma from that day, it's still haunting me.

I feel so suffocated.

I just want to disappear.

I want to disappear.

I feel like I continue living so that I can find my own happiness. And when I found it, when I found her, fate separated us and keeps separating us.

Now what's the will to live?

My family? Maybe. But it feels like my only family is my mom and younger brother. Obanai and Masachika.

If I disappear, they'll be sad. And afterward, they'll forget everything, right?

What if I just disappear?

I wish I just didn't survive that day. I wish I just let them kill me.

I survived just to suffer again.

I hate my fucked up life.

The bar was dimly lit, the air thick with the smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke.

I sat at the counter, my back hunched, staring into my glass. I didn't even notice the bartender's raised eyebrow as I slammed down my empty glass, signaling for another.

The ice clinked against the glass as the bartender poured, the sound a jarring contrast to the quiet hum of conversation around me.

I took a long gulp, the cold liquid burning a path down my throat. It didn't numb the ache in my chest, the hollowness that seemed to have taken root in my soul.

I kept drinking, one glass after another, each one a desperate attempt to drown out the noise in my head.

I wasn't sure how many I'd had, but I knew it was enough.

Enough to make my head spin, enough to blur the edges of my pain, enough to make me feel, for a fleeting moment, like I didn't exist.

I drank non-stop, enough to make everything blurry, everything a mess. Not enough to pass out, but enough to make my head spin. My body felt sluggish as I stumbled out of the bar, the night air a shock against my skin.

I tried to find a taxi, to get home, but a group of guys I didn't expect appeared in front of me.

"Look rich," one sneered.
"Look weak," another chimed in.
"Perfect," a third added, their voices a drunken chorus.

I couldn't make out their words clearly, but I understood the intent. My stomach twisted.

"Go away," I mumbled, trying to push past them, but they blocked my path, shoving me back with a laugh.

"Of course we will go away," one said, his voice dripping with malice, "but not for free, though."

Suddenly, I felt a hand in my pocket, yanking my wallet out. I couldn't see clearly, my head spinning, everything a blur. I tried to grab it back, my anger flaring. I glared at them, swinging a drunken fist, but they easily dodged it. If I wasn't drunk, I'd have broken their faces.

"Give me that!" I growled, clenching my fists, ready to fight, but then a figure appeared out of the shadows. He moved with a speed that surprised me, taking down the thugs with a few swift moves.

Confusion washed over me. Who the hell was this guy?

He tossed my wallet back to me, his face obscured by the darkness. I couldn't see him clearly, my head spinning, my vision blurring. I felt myself losing consciousness, the world fading around me.

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