I have to...

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"Everything I've loved became everything I lost."

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This story started on the night before the battle. I was in my bed trying to finally get some sleep. Somehow, after a few hours, I finally fell asleep. Let's say I regret it really quickly. Nightmares were normal for demigod. Weird one was actually routine, but this one was something else.

I was in the middle of the wood somewhere in Virginia. It was actually a place I knew, a little place where I stayed for a day with Thalia and Luke when I was little, a few days before we ran into Annabeth. This was a memorie, but nothing happened at that moment, at least not in the past. It was the night Luke was sleeping, and Thalia was monitoring the horizons. When suddenly, Luke opened his eyes. But instead of his blue eyes, the one that I had locked my little eyes in when I was scared, the one I always knew, he had golden eyes. He started talking, it was his voice but it wasn't him, no.

I woke up, sweating, with my eyes filled with tears and an awful feeling. Like I had lost Luke for good, like my brother had just disappeared. I never believed that two people could be connected that way, but at this instant, I knew, I just knew... that Luke would never come back. That I was left alone, again. Except, I accepted for a long time that my mother didn't want me or that my father never cared for me. But I never thought that one day, Luke would abandon me too.

I didn't have anybody to talk to about this. I mean, I could have told Clarisse, but we already had enough with the Chris situation. Sometimes, I wish I could warn the innocent 10 years old little girl I was about everything, the way she got hurt by 2 of the people she trusted the most. Maybe, if I could, I wouldn't be here asking myself who could I talk to about my problems. There was a time I had a whole family here at camp... Now, I barely talked to Annabeth when she isn't at camp, Chris was not an option, Clarisse had already enough on her plate, and Luke, I had lost him. In a way, I had the strange feeling that somehow everything I love was everything I was losing. Thalia, Luke, my relationship with Annabeth...

It was around 3 a.m. When I finally stopped myself to overthink the situation I was into. Since the start of Percy's quest, we have been training for the battle. It had been a few weeks now. Endless day of training, going to see Chris, begging him to stay alive until Mr D. come back, skipping meals because I was tired, going to sleep but I couldn't. That was my routine, and I had enough. I wanted my life to be normal again, as much as a demigod life could be. But it wasn't possible anymore.

The morning, I went to go train with the Ares, being with them, made me feel better, more myself. I could have never thought that only a few hours later, we'll be getting ready for our biggest fight. During the day, we had been warned by Percy about the upcoming army. Everyone was getting ready. Even though I had been at camp for 9 years, I had never seen an operation likewise. The Hephaestos were working on the many traps in front of the entrance, The Athena's were working on the battle tacticals, and The Ares were on the first line. Not gonna lie. Having my best friends and her siblings on first line against an army of monsters wasn't my favorite thing. Meanwhile, I was on the second line with my siblings and the Apollon. Somehow, I ended up paired with Will. No one was paired except us, but I couldn't blame them for not trusting me, I knew what was coming.

Will and I were walking in the wood, getting ready to place somewhere good. At first, it was weird, Will, and I used to be close. We met when he first arrived, along with 2 other demigods, Andrew and Olivia. For a moment, we were a little group, but Will got claimed and left the Hermes cabin. While Andrew and Olivia just changed and stopped hanging out with me. Now, it's been a few years. Will and I stayed friendly with each other, and Olivia and Andrew had disappeared just before I came back. Was I worried that they had joined Luke side ? Yes, I knew their opinions about the Gods. And it wasn't good.

The battle had been going for what seemed to be a while now. Will and I had fought and killed lots of monsters, but so many people had fallen. They were either dead or injured. Many Apollon went to help, and I wished we had gone too. Because no one ever want to fight their old friends. But Will and I were here, standing in front of Olivia and Andrew. The four of us were just looking at each other. The worst was we had fight so many times side by side that everybody knew each other's weakness.
- I should have seen it coming I said
-It's funny, if I remember well, you're the one that betrayed the camp first. You're the one that abandoned us, Olivia responded
- I abandon you, really ! The audacity... Before I leave, it has been months since you gave a shit  about me. Sometimes, I really wonder if anything between us was real. I add angrily.
- Well, ladies, not that I don't want to talk about the past ! We are here to destroy camp and his occupant! We got a job, so let's keep the pity for later, Olivia, and end them.
At this point, I realized that they wasn't any hope for them to come back to our camp. They attacked us, we replied. I didn't have another choice than to fight Olivia, except that I was better than her. We both knew it, she fell and my sword cut her in the arms, which made Andrew lose his focus, and allowed Will to disarm him. Seeing Olivia bleeding made me regret ditching them years ago. Maybe, even if we weren't friends, they would have stayed. I was so lost in my thought that I didn't even realize Andrew and Olivia were leaving.

The battle had finished. Many monsters were killed, but many demigods, too. Some were on the Titan's army, but some were from camp. One of Dionysus son died, killed by one of Luke's pawns, his name was Castor. He wasn't one of my close friends, but him and his twins brother had always been nice to me. I couldn't imagine what Pollux could feel after losing his twins. The evening ceremony confirmed my thoughts on him. We also lose one of Will's brothers, Lee Flincher. Lee and I weren't friends at all. There was no peculiar reason, but we never came around our different. Still, he was one of us, one that died because of my brother's action.

Only I didn't have a brother anymore. No, Luke had died, allowing Kronos to take his body. And that's how I lost him forever.

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Author note: I do not own any of these characters (except Margot). They all belong to Rick Riordan.

Hope you enjoy this chapter! And sorry for the spelling mistakes, English is not my first language, I will takes any correction ! Thanks 🙏

And feel free to comment your opinion and to vote pls 💕

~~~~~Have you read HoO or ToA~~~~~~~~

➡️ I'm currently reading the House of Hades (It's so good) ( 01/09/2024)
I am starting Blood of Olympus (06/09/2024)

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