What if?

Chapter 23

When the meal was finished, Thomas and Newt quietly excused themselves. They said their good nights to the others and then headed towards Thomas's tent.

Once they reached the tent, Thomas held the flap open for Newt, gesturing him inside. The tent was small but cozy, with a hamac in a corner and a few blankets laid out on the ground for a makeshift bed. Thomas and Newt sat down next to each, and as they did, the atmosphere became heavy with an unspoken tension.

Newt fidgeted with his fingers, his gaze fixed on the ground. Thomas waited patiently, giving him space to speak when he was ready. After a few moments of awkward silence, Newt finally spoke up, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Tommy... there's something I need to tell you. And I don't know... I don't know how you'll react. But... I need to get it off my chest."

Thomas swallowed, his heart rate quickening with a mix of anxiety and anticipation. He had an inkling, a fear, about what Newt was going to say. But he kept his voice calm and encouraging as he replied, "Go on."

Newt took a deep, shaky breath, gathering his courage. "Tommy... I've been having nightmares. Terrible one's when we were trying to find you guys."

Thomas's heart clenched with sympathy at Newt's confession. "Newt, I-I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Newt looked away, avoiding Thomas's gaze. "I didn't want to worry you. I thought I could handle it on my own. But... but they've been getting worse and I still have them, except when I'm with you... I can't sleep, I can't eat, I-" His voice cracked, and he closed his eyes tightly, trying to keep his emotions in check.

Thomas's eyes widened with concern, and he reached out, gently placing a hand on Newt's arm. "Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay. You don't have to go through this alone." Thomas stopped, thinking. "So that's why you weren't eating a lot."

Newt nodded, still not meeting Thomas's eyes. "Yeah. I just... I can't stomach much, I feel so on edge all the time. I can't shake these images from my head, these memories, and I-" He trailed off, his voice breaking again.

Thomas scooted closer, putting his arm around Newt's shoulders and pulling him into a tight embrace. "Hey, hey. It's okay. Shhh. You're okay. You're safe. I'm here."

Newt let out a shaky breath, burying his face in Thomas's shoulder. His body trembled with suppressed emotion, the weight of his nightmares and fears finally pouring out. "I-I can't get them out of my head, Tommy. I can't make them go away."

Thomas held him tighter, his heart aching with empathy. "I know, I know. I'm so sorry, Newt. I wish I could take those nightmares from you, I really do." He ran his hand soothingly up and down Newt's back, trying to offer whatever comfort he could.

"But you can, remember... I-I said that I didn't have them when I was with you. Like on the beach last time. That's why I wanted to sleep in your tent, with you, tonight." Newt let a tear fell on his cheek. "I'm sorry for snapping earlier. You were right there was something up with me I-I just didn't knew how to tell you then."

Thomas's chest tightened with emotions at Newt's vulnerable confession. "Hey, hey. Don't apologize. You don't have to explain yourself. I just... wished you would've told me sooner. I'm here for you, okay? Always."

He pulled Newt closer to him, wrapping his arms around him protectively. "You're not alone in this. I'll do whatever it takes to help you get through these nightmares."

Newt clung to Thomas, his body trembling with leftover fear and anxiety. "Tommy..." He paused, his voice quiet and raw. "Could I... could I sleep next to you tonight? Maybe that'll make the nightmares go away, like it did on the beach."