What if?

Chapter 28

Newt slowly opened his eyes, the memories of the previous day coming back to him in a rush. He was still in Thomas's tent, just like every night to keep the nightmare away. But today, he had woken up before Thomas, which was a rarity.He took a moment to collect his thoughts and emotions, bracing himself for the conversation that was sure to come.

He looked at Thomas, still sleeping peacefully beside him. Newt couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness in his chest as he watched his lover's face, so innocent and vulnerable in sleep. He remembered the feeling of hurt and betrayal that had gripped him the day before, the sight of Thomas kissing Teresa still vivid in his mind.

He knew that he had to trust Thomas again, he really wanted to, but something deep inside him kept him from doing it. It would probably take a while for him to trust him again, or maybe not. He had no idea how he felt.

He carefully untangled himself from Thomas's embrace, not wanting to disturb his sleep, wich failed.

Thomas stirred, his eyes fluttering open as he felt Newt moving away. "Newt?" he mumbled sleepily, squinting in the morning light.

Newt turned to look at him, a small smile on his face. "Morning." he said, his voice still a little rough.

Thomas sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Why are you up so early?" he asked, sounding a bit disoriented.

"Couldn't sleep." Newt replied, sitting up on the edge of the tent. He avoided looking Thomas directly in the eyes, his mind still swirling with conflicting emotions.

Thomas noticed the slight tension in Newt's demeanor and scooted closer to him. "Is it about last night?" he asked gently, putting a hand on Newt's knee.

Newt nodded, his shoulders slumping a bit. "Yeah. I just... I can't get it out of my mind, you know? The kiss, the look on your face when I barged in. It keeps playing in my mind over and over again." He confessed reluctantly.

Thomas sighed, his eyes full of guilt. "I'm so sorry, Newt. I never meant to hurt you like this. I don't know what came over me, I was just so... overwhelmed and confused, and she just... she just kissed me. I pushed her away immediately, I promise. I didn't feel anything for her, I swear."

Newt nodded, "Tommy, I know." he slightly smiled. "It's just hard y'know..."

Thomas put his arm around Newt's shoulders, pulling him closer. "I know, I know. It's hard for me too. I wish I could go back and change what happened, but I can't. All I can do now is keep proving to you that I love you and that it meant nothing. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, I love so so much."

"I know you do, Tommy." he responded quietly, leaning into Thomas's embrace. He did believe Thomas's words, deep down he knew that he loved him. But the wound was still fresh and painful.

"Can we like- stop talking about that." Newt said.

Thomas nodded understandingly, "Sure, if you want." He gave Newt a gentle squeeze. "Can I ask you something though?"

"Yeah, go ahead." Newt replied, bracing himself for the question.

"Are we okay?" Thomas asked quietly. "I mean, I know we're not the same as we were before, but... I just need to hear you say it. That we're okay."

Newt looked at Thomas, his expression softening. "We're okay, Tommy. We're gonna be okay. I'm just... I'm just gonna need a bit more time, that's all."

Thomas nodded, a look of relief on his face. "Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere." he responded gently.