TW: SH (skip the bolded part)
I feel my heart drop, nerves creeping in. I don't know how to respond. Like, obviously yes but...I can't say anything. The words won't form. No sound is coming out. I see Conan's eyes start to get shiny, as he tries to hold back tears. I know it's dumb, but my body decides it can't do this. I run to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
Without thinking, even processing, I grab the extra razor blade that Conan keeps under his cabinet. I know I shouldn't do this...not again...not here...not now...but I can't stop myself. I start to cut...the feeling satisfying. I know I told myself never again. I know I shouldn't. But...I need to. It's making me feel better. Suddenly I stop, just staring at the mess I've made.
Oh my God. How did it get this bad...there was blood covering the floor. The razor was almost dull at this point. I had cut my arms bad...I hadn't meant to take it this far. Only one or two...my arm was covered in cuts. I looked at the floor, a red puddle underneath me. There was blood dripping from all different parts of my arms.
I grabbed a towel from underneath his sink, wiping up the blood. I rinsed my arm in the sink, feeling the burning sensation. It burned...felt horrible...but also...amazing. After the bleeding stopped, I threw away the razor blade, shoved the towel in his shower, and put on one of his hoodies.
When I walked out of the bathroom, I could tell he had been crying. He looked up at me, shock and happiness in his eyes. "I-" he started, but I interrupted him. "I'm sorry-" I said, looking at the floor. "I was just...I don't know...scared" I say, embarrassed. I look at him, his face somber. "Hey, it's okay. You don't have to have an answer-"
"I have an answer. It's yes" I blurt out. "R-really?" He looks at me again, grabbing my hands. "Yes" I respond. He leans in, kissing me on the lips gently. I feel his hands on my face, his lips soft and delicate. He pulls away, holding me tightly. He pulls me in by my waist, kissing my forehead. "Love you" he says. "I love you too"
We get into the bed, and he wraps his arms around me, holding me until I fall asleep.
