I wake up to a loud banging, jolting me up immediately. I gasp a little as I try to figure out what's happening. My eyes look all around, trying to make my vision clear. I feel Conan sit up next to me. He puts his hand on my leg, looking towards me confused. I hear the banging again, louder this time. It's coming from the door. Conan just looks at me.
Another round of banging, more aggressive. He squeeze his hand then gets up, walking towards his bedroom door and into the kitchen. I follow him, both of us cautious to be quiet. Banging again, then Conan look into the peephole on his door. He lets out a sigh, opening the door.
"Finally! I have been knocking for ages young man!" my mother screams. Before I can hide, she sees me. "I knew it! I knew you were here! And with this guy, my Lord" she says disapprovingly. "M'am I'm going to have to call the police" Conan says firmly. She looks almost astonished. "This is my daughter!" she screams. "And this is my property, and you are trespassing. I'm calling" He picks up his phone dialing the number. "No don't!" she yells, trying to get in.
She breaks past his arm, running towards me. I run into the living room, backing against the wall. "You! I can't believe you!" she screams. I see her reach, then I feel a hard slap across my face. "You are such a disappointment! You are coming home!" Before she can hit me again, Conan grabs me, pulling me away from her and behind him.
"M'am you are breaking and entering! I am not going to ask you again, get off my property!" he yells angrily. "Shut up! This is not your business! Just because you're hooking up with my daughter doesn't mean you're in charge of her!"
He is taken aback by this once again. "M'am, I am not hooking up with your daughter-" Before he can finish his sentence, she reaches behind him and grabs me, throwing me onto the floor. "You're pathetic, you know that? Won't even help your own family, wow! I raised you piece of shit! And this is how you treat me?!?" I can't handle the yelling. It's too much for me.
"You didn't raise me! You abused me! And I didn't choose to be here, this is your fault! You may hate me but guess what? I hate myself too!" I scream at her, the tears starting to flow. I hear Conan on the phone in the background, frantically saying something. "Why don't you just kill yourself then? It would make my life easier!" she yells. The words ring in my ears like sirens.
"That's it!" Conan screams. She reaches to hit me again, successfully taking a blow to my face and neck. Before she can hit a third time, Conan yanks her off of me, getting in front of me. "Leave! Get out of my face!" he screams. Just then I hear sirens, then see lights. "Oh young man, you did not!" She reaches for him just as the police officers rush in. She makes a blow to his right arm, not doing much.
The police grab her and put her in handcuffs. They were taking her to jail. "You'll regret this young lady! You worthless piece of shit! Good for nothing, aren't you? Have fun hooking up with this jerk!" she screams after me. The screaming becomes muffled as they put her in the car. Conan talks with the police for a few minutes, asking if he wants to go to court over the matter. "No, no...we're okay now. Thank you officer" he replies.
I'm still sitting on the floor, my face stinging where she had hit me. I place my hand on my cheek, feeling it burning. He shuts the door, locking it and walking up to me. "I am so, so, so sorry...I...I had no idea she would...I didn't think...I didn't realize-"
"It's okay. You didn't know" I say, calming him. He moves my hand away from my cheek, touching it lightly with his fingertips. "Poor baby..." he whispers. His eyes fill with tears as he looks around my face and neck. "You...you didn't really mean that...did you?" he asks, his voice filled with sadness. "Mean what?" I ask.
"That you hate yourself...do you really hate yourself?" he looks at me with sad empty eyes. I just stay silent, too scared to speak due to the tears that might follow. He pulls me in tight to him. He rests his head on mine, closing his eyes as tears start to fall. "Conan-" He squeezes me tight. "How could you ever hate yourself...I love you. So so much. I love your hair, your face, your lips, your body, your attitude, your personality, you. I...I love you" he stutters through a breaking voice.
He picks me up, bringing me back into his bedroom. He sits down, gently holding me tight to him in his lap. "Please...don't listen to her. Don't ever even think about it. Suicide isn't an answer...think about what it would do to me...to lose you..." His voice breaks on the 'you'. "I...I won't" I reply, turning to look at him. "Promise?" he whispers. I tilt his face towards mine, kissing him gently but firmly.
"Promise"
