Meant To Be

Chapter 20 - Explanations

You had ended it with Scott right after you got home from the RHCP show that night. Did he take it well? No. No not at all. There were tears on both ends lots of yelling you threw the engagement ring at him at one point. It's not how you wanted it to end. But at least it was over for real this time.
You now frantically ran around your apartment cleaning it up because tonight was the night John was going to come over. He was gonna come over and you guys were going to sit and down and figure everything out once and for all. You both had a lot of explanations to give. The door bell rang and you ran over to let John in. He was grinning ear to ear to see you and he brought you a bouquet of flowers. You welcomed John in. "Here I uh I got you these" John said handing you the flowers. "Oh thanks" you said taking the bouquet and kissing his cheek. You and John then walked over to sit at your kitchen table you made the both of you some coffee and you sat and chatted.
"I guess we should just get the hard stuff out of the way" John said. You took a deep breath "Yeah" you said tapping your fingers on your mug of coffee. "Can I just explain what happened that night and why" John asked. "I've been waiting 6 years for you to tell me why John" you said. John reached out and grabbed your hand so now you sat across from each other holding hands he squeezed it as he said "I know Y/n not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you and I'm finally ready to be with you" John said looking into your eyes you could hear the sincerity in his voice he really meant it. "I want to be with you too John but please just tell me what happened" You said. John leaned back in his chair and sighed. "Ok well that night I just couldn't take it anymore I hated the band I hated myself I hated my guitar I hated everything. So, yeah I started banging my arm and wrist on the desk trying to break it so I wouldn't have to play and I didn't want you to see" John said pausing. A tear rolled down your cheek as you began to relive the events of that awful night. "Ok" you said as John continued "also you probably knew but I well I had begun sort of using heroin I could tell I was starting to you know get addicted to it, it started well being all that mattered." John said. You knew John had started using drugs but not to the extent of getting addicted. "I was going down a dark path when I left that night and I didn't care at all about leaving the band behind... but I did care about leaving you I know the way I left would say the opposite but I wanted you to come with me but I knew that where I was going was a dark place and I didn't wanna take you there with me." John said rubbing your hand. Tears were still gently falling from your face as he told you this he did care about he really did. "It was bad Y/n really really really bad I mean it's a miracle I'm here to be honest i was dying I wasn't even human anymore almost it was awful I mean look at my arms." John said pointing at his scarred up arms. You continued to softly cry "Why didn't you call me John I could've helped you" you asked. "Y/n I didn't want you to see me like that.. on the brink of death you didn't need to see that baby you didn't." John said. "So anyway all I did was spiral darker down into addiction I didn't even play guitar I'd just paint and use and use and use and that's it. Then Anthony reached out and asked if I would wanna be in the Peppers again I said I couldn't but Anthony didn't give up he helped me get into rehab get clean and now I'm back I'm healthier and we're almost ready to put out our new album." John said smiling at you. You wiped away your tears and smiled "So your really ok and you and Anthony are on good terms?" You asked. "Better than ever we're good friends again and I'm glad to be back in the band." John said with a beaming smile. You and John continued to talk and enjoy each other's company it was nice. It was more than nice it felt so right so meant to be. You now laid on his chest on your couch watching tv. "John" you said. "Yeah babe" John said. "I love you" you said kissing him "I love you too Y/n" John said hugging you close to him.