iWill Always Find You

Chapter 2 iFeel so confused

Chapter 2

iFeel so confused

~ * Sam * ~

I slowly wake up to check my phone and see that it's almost 12:30 p.m. already. Ever since my thoughts won't leave me alone at night and I don't fall asleep till about 3:30 a.m, I wake up around this time every day.

I sigh to myself as I pull myself out of bed, having a hard time with it. Ugh I don't wanna get out. 2 weeks of the boring usual days have passed already since the nubby text from Freddie at night. And the boy hasn't talked to me ever since, jerk! I was the one who didn't reply though but come on, I'm Sam Puckett, you can expect that from me.

Although I try to push my feelings and thoughts aside everyday Freddie is all I can think about. He drives me crazy! Even when he's not around he does. Ugh! I hate this. Why Sam, why did you have to fall in love with Freddie!? That's the question I ask myself about 500 times a day.

I quickly take a shower and get dressed, groaning as I can't find my belt. I bet Cat stole it from me again. She's been talking about how much she loves it for days. I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge, groaning harder as there isn't any meat. Ughhhh! I can't start my day without meet!

I walk back to the bedroom and grab my purse, pulling out a bag of fried chicken. Or how I like to call it, my emergency wings. I smirk to myself as I eagerly start eating it while walking back to the kitchen and making me some coffee.

I walk to the couch with the fried chicken and coffee in my hand and flop down on it. I switch on the tv and continue eating, sighing satisfied. This is the perfect morning, well, afternoon.

Although I really like it here with Cat, I often doubt if I made the right choice staying here, or even leaving for the road-trip. I wonder how it would be if I stayed in Seattle with Freddie, Gibby and Spencer. I mean of course it'd be weird being the only girl there, but at least I would've been with Freddie. No, stop it Sam. Stop thinking about Freddie. By the way he acted to me after we broke up it's pretty obvious he doesn't want me back.

Thinking about Freddie makes me think about Seattle, and the reason why I left when Carly went to Italy. Nobody but me knows the real reason why. I didn't leave because I would be the only girl there surrounded with Freddie, Gibby and Spencer. I left because I wanted to leave my horrible past there in Seattle, not meaning school, my friends or anything that has to do with iCarly, no, I mean my other past, the one no one knows about. Well, past, it's actually all still going on.

There's no one who knows about it and I'd like to keep it that way. But really, did no one ever realize there was a story behind me being so tough? It has everything to do with my family, my dad. Cause yes, I do know who my dad is, unfortunately. I wish that the lies I told everyone about not knowing who my dad is were reality. Cause I never, but literally NEVER would want anyone to know the cruel, mean and horrible man who is my father.

No Sam, stop thinking about it. You've run away from it now, and you're not gonna go back. There's no reason to anyway cause Freddie doesn't care about me or love me anyway. Now I think about it, there really aren't many people who care about me. No one actually. That really hurts. But I'm used to it, I'm used to having to do everything on my own. And that's why I'm glad to be with Cat now. At least she likes to be around me and doesn't make me do everything on my own.

Once again I'm taken out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. ''who's there?''

I hear a familiar voice outside. ''it's Dice!''

''oh come in.'' I walk to the door to let Dice in. ''hey kid, don't you have school?''

''nope, I have a day off.''