iWill Always Find You

Chapter 3 iAm hesitating

Chapter 3

iAm hesitating

~ * Carly * ~

Here I am, sitting in my room in Italy. The past few months have been very two-sided. I've been having an absolutely great time with my dad. But my social life here in Italy didn't turn out as I had expected.

If I'm honest I really wanna go back to Seattle. I miss Sam, Freddie and Spencer like crazy, and I even miss Gibby. School has been horrible without Sam, Freddie and Gibby. The people here are mean and super judgmental. I know, sounds like the US right? But no, I'm really talking about Italy. People think I'm 'too American' I don't even know what they mean with that. I've been nothing but nice to everyone but they are just so mean to me. I don't get bullied but I don't have friends either.

I'd never expected my senior year to be like this. I never imagined it without Sam, Freddie and Gibby. The idea of graduating here without them is horrible. I don't wanna be here in Italy anymore, I just really wanna go back to Seattle and finish my senior year with Sam, Freddie and Gibby. But I could never do that to my dad. He's been doing everything to do this for me and I love being around him, but my school life here is just the worst.

I tried to act cool about it towards Sam, but she saw right through me. I miss her, like, a lot! I know Sam has moved in with some girl named Cat in L.A and started a babysitting business. I'm glad she's having a good time. I bet she doesn't miss me as much as I miss her. That Cat girl seems really nice, and I'm terrified that she's gonna replace me. What if I come back to Seattle and Sam will stay in L.A because she's rather with Cat than with me? Oh gosh, that'd be terrible. Ok stop thinking about it Carly.

And then there's Freddie. Yeah I miss him too. Because even though Sam's my best friend, Freddie is too. It was the stupidest and most random thing ever from me when I kissed him before I left. I don't even know why I did it. I guess I just didn't want him to forget about me, so I gave him something that will remind him about me. Ugh it was SO stupid. If Sam ever finds out I'm scared she might kill me. Ugh how could I kiss Sam's ex-boyfriend? My best friend who I didn't have any feelings for? I'm the most horrible best friend ever. For both of them.

I wonder if Sam and Freddie still have contact. After they broke up things have been so weird between them. Freddie's been acting horrible towards Sam and even though she tries to hide it, I see that it hurts her more than anything. The break up was my fault, and I feel so terribly bad about it. Cause I'm pretty sure they are still madly in love with each other. I can see it with everything they do. I really hope they talked things out, but knowing my two stubborn best friends, I'm quite sure they haven't.

I'm desperately hesitating if I should tell my dad about how I feel. Maybe he'll understand and will get me back to Seattle. But at the other side, I really don't wanna hurt him and I really enjoy spending time with him. Ugh this was so difficult.

I hope that I can at least go and see Sam, Freddie, Spencer and Gibby in my next holiday. Cause I can't take it anymore without them. They're the most important people in my life. But so is my dad. Urghhh! These thoughts make me crazy.

Tired I put on my pj's and say goodnight to my dad before brushing my teeth and walking back to my bedroom. I get into bed and under the covers and sigh deeply to myself before slowly drifting off to sleep.

~ * Freddie * ~

Exhausted I come home from school and unlock the door to my apartment, thank god my mom isn't home.

I walk inside and throw my bag on the couch, sighing. Today's been such a long day. I worked really hard at school to try and get my grades higher. Surprisingly, I think I did pretty well for a change. I guess it's the fact that I'm trying to track down where Sam is. I know I could just ask her where she is but one, she maybe doesn't want to tell me. And two, I wanna surprise her. Although I'm not sure if she'll take that the good way, but there's only one way to find out.

I walk to my bedroom and grab my laptop, I switch it on and lie back on my bed with it. Ugh this thing has become so slow. I need a new one.

I try to think of ways to track Sam down, maybe I can find her with the password of her phone, or her PearPad, or maybe the number plate of her motorcycle. But I don't have any of those. Damn it!

I suddenly remember that I have the serial number of Sam's laptop, YES! Now I can track her down the same way as we did when she lost her laptop! I'll be able to put on Sam's webcam, but I'm pretty sure there won't be any hints of where she is. I sigh to myself. Well, I can always try.

I search for the serial number I saved on my laptop, I finally find it after a while. For the first time in my life I'm actually glad I am a nerd. I smirk to myself, I've done some pretty sneaky things when it comes to hacking or tracking people down.

I type in the serial number on my special software and nervously wait as it loads. I fiddle with my fingers as it takes really long. Ugh, come on! After a while it finally makes connection, YES!

I glue my eyes to the screen and frown deeply as I see a completely pink, fluffy, unicorny princess bedroom. That's definitely not where Sam is, I sigh deeply to myself. I guess I typed in a wrong letter of the serial number or something.

But then I see a girl walking in the room, a girl with red hair, her back is turned to the screen so I can't see her face. She looks familiar, I think about where I could've seen her before but I don't have a clue. But then she faces the screen and I directly remember her, she was at that party we went to when that Steven guy was cheating on Carly!

I try to remember her name, what was it Freddie, think think think! Eh what was it? Like a flower name? or no, an animal. Eh...Cat! Yeah that was it. Sam's laptop was with Cat. What the heck is it doing there?

I watch Cat for a while when I hear her talking to someone, no way...my heart starts beating faster when I recognize from who that voice is...SAM!

I get as close to the screen as I possibly can, my eyes glued to it as I see Sam walking in. Finally after 5 months I get to see her again, well, sort of. She hasn't changed one bit. Oh god she's so beautiful!

I keep watching Sam & Cat for a while and listen to what they're talking about, trying to find out where they are, my eyes glued to Sam, I never wanna stop watching her. Ugh she's driving me insane. Wait, did I just hear them say something about Hollywood Arts High School? Yes! Of course, that's where Cat goes to school! So Sam's in L.A? Sam's in L.A! Okay I need to get there. Good thing I got my driver's license and bought a car last year.

I try to think of how I will get there when I suddenly see Sam moving closer to the camera, I guess she's walking over to a closet or something. I watch what she's doing and then...oh my god, holy shit!

I see Sam taking off her shirt and pants, and there she stands, in just her underwear! Oh Sam have you never learned to close your laptop when you're changing? Oh who cares! My eyes widen and my mouth falls open as I watch her. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! And god, she's sexy! I bite my lip as I keep watching her, feeling myself harden. Ugh seriously? Stupid hormones. I'm not even with her and she gets me turned on. I'm so freaking in love with that girl.

I shut down my laptop after I've watched Sam for a while and tracked down that she is in L.A close to Hollywood Arts High School. I feel bad about watching her in her underwear, but I mean come on, how can I keep my eyes of a body like that!? Although that isn't the biggest reason why I was so in love with her. There are so many reasons. She's just perfect to me. Thinking about the high possibility of her hating me terrifies and depresses me, even if she has every right to. Even if we need to continue just as friends, I don't wanna lose her. The only thing I want in life right now is having Sam close to me, my arms wrapped around her and our lips pressed against each other.

Oh stop it with the fantasies Freddie. First of all think of a plan to get there. I put away my laptop and brush my teeth before getting into my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Thinking of when and how exactly I'm gonna go to L.A. After making a plan I slowly feel my eyes drop and fall asleep.