Tangled Hearts.

~Chapter 4~

~Colby~
 
Growing up was never easy for me. My childhood was marked by the absence of my father, who was always away dealing with the pack business and searching for new members. It felt like he was more devoted to the pack than to his own family. I have three siblings: Kalani, my older sister who is 24, Gage, my older brother who is 26, and little 5-year-old Gigi, who was born when I was 18. 
 
~ 
 
I remember when Gigi came into our lives, it was a bittersweet moment. While I was happy to have a new addition to the family, it also meant that my responsibilities grew as well. At 18, I was thrust into a role I wasn't ready for. 
 
~June 29th, 2015~
 
The night had been a torturous crawl. Kalani and I were slumped in the waiting room chairs, our eyelids heavy with exhaustion. The fluorescent lights flickered relentlessly, mocking our desperate attempts to stay awake. Mom had been in labor since the dead of night, and we'd been exiled to this sterile purgatory until Gigi made her grand entrance.
 
Finally, the first blush of dawn painted the hospital windows. A nurse, her face a beacon of hope, appeared. "She's here!" she announced, her voice brimming with excitement. Kalani and I exchanged breathless glances, our hearts pounding in our chests.
 
We trailed the nurse down the impersonal corridors, our anticipation growing with each step. When we burst into Mom's room, the scene was a mix of exhaustion and euphoria. 
 
Mom was nestled in the bed, her face a mask of relief and love. Dad stood beside her, looking like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards.
 
"She's here," Mom whispered, her voice filled with awe. In her arms, swaddled tightly, was a tiny miracle - Gianna Mae Brock.

"You did it, Mama," I managed to say, my voice thick with emotion.
 
"She's perfect," Kalani breathed, her eyes wide with wonder as she gazed at the newborn.
 
Mom chuckled, "Well, she's perfect now. Let's just say, getting her here was a whole different story." She glanced at Dad, a playful glint in her eye. "This guy wanted to bail."
 
Dad rolled his eyes, but a soft smile tugged at his lips. "I was worried about you, sweetheart."
 
Mom squeezed his hand. "I know, and I appreciate it. But honestly, I needed you here."
 
Kalani carefully took Gigi from Mom's arms. "She's so tiny!" she exclaimed again, her voice trembling slightly.
 
"Yeah, well, she didn't feel that tiny coming out," Mom joked, wincing slightly. "They had to use the vacuum; can you believe it?"
 
Kalani's eyes widened in shock. "Oh my gosh, Mama, I'm so sorry!"
 
Mom waved her hand dismissively. "It's okay. It was quick, at least. Four good pushes, and she was here." She looked down at Gigi, her expression softening. "Worth every second."
 
It was my turn to hold the precious bundle. As I cradled Gigi in my arms, a wave of love and protectiveness washed over me.
 
"Hi Gigi," Her tiny fingers curled around mine, and her eyes fluttered open, taking in the world for the first time. In that moment, everything else faded away. There was just me and this perfect little being.
 
But then Dad's voice cut through the moment. "Colby, be a man. Wipe those tears," he said, rolling his eyes. 
 
I tried to blink them away, but it was no use. "Dad, she's, my sister. I'm just happy," I replied, my voice trembling.
 
"Happy? You look like you're about to cry," Dad scoffed. "Real men don't cry."
 
Mom shot him a sharp look. "Layne, let him be. This is a special moment. Don't be like that."
 
I looked down at Gigi, who had started to fuss a little in my arms. I gently bounced her, trying to soothe her. "It's okay, Gigi. I'm here," I whispered, my voice choked with emotion.
 
Dad just shook his head and muttered something under his breath. I felt a pang of sadness. This was supposed to be a happy day, a day of celebration. But once again, Dad had managed to cast a shadow over it.
 
Mom reached out and gently touched my arm. "You're going to be a great big brother, Colby," she said softly. Her words were a balm to my heart, a reminder that I didn't need to live up to Dad's harsh expectations.
 
As I held Gigi, I tried to focus on the joy of the moment. She was so small and fragile, yet so full of life and potential. I couldn't wait to see her grow up, to be there for her first steps, her first words, and all the other milestones.
 
Kalani came closer, peering over my shoulder at Gigi. "She's going to be so spoiled with both of us looking after her," she said with a grin as she nudged me softly.
 
I laughed, feeling a bit of the tension ease. "Yeah, she's going to have the best big sister and big brother ever."
 
Gigi started to fuss a bit more, and Mom took her from me, settling her into her arms. "She's probably hungry," Mom said, smiling down at her.
 
Kalani and I sat down on the chairs next to Mom's bed as she nursed Gigi. It was a peaceful moment, and I felt a deep sense of contentment. 
 
Despite Dad's attitude, we were able to contain our frustrations and enjoy the morning and the birth of my new sister.
 
As the morning wore on, we talked about all the things we wanted to do with Gigi, all the adventures we would have together. It was a new beginning, a fresh start, and I was determined to make the most of it.
 
Mom looked up at us, her eyes shining with love. "Thank you for being here, both of you. It means the world to me."
 
"Of course, Mom," Kalani said, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "We're a family, and we stick together."
 
I nodded in agreement. "Always."
 
~
 
As the excitement of Gigi's arrival began to settle, I took a deep breath and decided it was time to share my news. "Mom, Kalani... dad, I have something to tell you," I began, feeling a mix of nerves and anticipation. With Gigi in my arms, I sat down next to mom on the hospital bed.
 
Mom looked up at me, her eyes full of warmth. "What is it, B?"
 
"I've been accepted into West Creek University in Los Angeles," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "I'll be majoring in business, just like the rest of my friends. We've already found a house near the school where we'll all live together."
 
Kalani's face lit up with a huge smile. "That's amazing, honey! I'm so happy for you!"
 
Mom's eyes sparkled with pride. "Oh, Colby, that's wonderful news! I'm so proud of you."
 
Just then, Dad's expression darkened as he put down his phone from the phone call he was on. 
 
He stood up abruptly, the chair he was sitting in, in the corner of the hospital room, scraping against the wall. "What did you say?" he demanded, his voice rising.
 
"I said I've been accepted into West Creek University," I repeated, feeling a knot form in my stomach.
 
Dad's face turned red with anger. "And you didn't think to discuss this with me before making such a rash decision?" he shouted.
 
Before I could respond, he stormed out of the room, shutting the door behind him. The tension in the room was palpable.
 
Mom reached out and took my hand. "Don't let him get to you, Colby. This is your future, and you deserve to be happy."
 
Kalani gently took Gigi from my arms, giving me a reassuring smile. "Hey, we're so proud of you, love. Don't ever forget that."
 
I nodded, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. I took a deep breath and followed him outside into the waiting room, determined to stand my ground.
 
Dad was pacing back and forth in the waiting room, his hands clenched into fists. "What were you thinking, Colby?" he demanded as soon as he saw me. I knew that telling Dad was going to be difficult, but I hadn't expected such a strong reaction.
 
"I was thinking about my future, Dad," I replied, trying to keep my voice calm. "This is what I want to do. I've worked hard for this opportunity."
 
Dad shook his head, his expression full of disappointment. "You should have consulted me first. You're making a huge mistake."
 
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. "Dad, I understand that you're upset," I began, trying to keep my voice steady.
 
"But my life doesn't revolve around your needs or wants. I've always taken your opinions into consideration, but this is about my future. I want to do what I want to do, and that doesn't include becoming the alpha of the pack you control."
 
Dad's face turned an even deeper shade of red. "What did you just say?" he growled, taking a step closer to me.
 
"I said," I repeated firmly, "that I don't want to be the alpha. I have my own dreams, and they don't align with taking over the pack. This is my life, Dad, and I need to follow my own path."
    
His eyes blazed with anger. "You're being selfish, Colby. Do you even realize what you're saying? You're turning your back on your family, on your responsibilities!"
 
"I'm not turning my back on anyone," I retorted, feeling my own anger rising. "I'm just choosing to live my life on my own terms. I know it's not what you wanted, but it's what I want."
 
Dad's expression hardened. "You ungrateful little—" he started, but then he stopped, his face contorting with rage. "Fuck off, Colby." he spat, before turning on his heel and storming off.
 
I stood there, stunned and hurt by his words. I had expected him to be angry, but this level of vitriol was more than I had anticipated. I watched him disappear out of the waiting room, feeling a mix of sadness and relief. I had finally stood up for myself, but the cost was higher than I had imagined.
 
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my emotions. Dad's pacing came to an abrupt stop. He looked at me with an expression that was a mix of anger and disappointment. 
 
Without another word, he turned and walked away, leaving me standing there, feeling a wave of emotions crash over me. Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched him disappear down the hallway.
 
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself before heading back inside. As I walked into the room, Mom and Kalani looked up, their faces filled with concern.
 
"What happened?" Mom asked gently.
 
I wiped my eyes and took a seat, my voice trembling. "Dad... he just walked out. He didn't even give me a chance to explain why I wanted to do what I wanted to do. It was supposed to be a happy day, but now..." I couldn't finish the sentence, the weight of the situation pressing down on me.
 
Kalani reached over and squeezed my hand. "I'm so sorry, Colby. I know this isn't how you wanted this to go."
 
Mom sighed, her expression softening. "I'll talk to him later. Right now, let's just focus on enjoying some family time. It's just us, let's just try to relax for a little bit and spend some time with your new sister."
 
I nodded, grateful for their support but still feeling the sting of Dad's reaction. We spent the rest of the evening together, trying to keep the mood light, but the sadness lingered. 
 
In just about a month, I will be moving out and starting a new chapter of my life in Los Angeles. I had hoped for a smooth transition, but now, it felt like a storm was brewing.
 
~
 
Soon after graduating, I made the decision to leave our small town in Kansas and move to Los Angeles. I wanted to escape the constant presence of the pack and pursue my own dreams. Los Angeles seemed like the perfect place to start fresh. 
 
I found a 9-bedroom house and moved in with my friends from high school, Sam, Corey, and Jake. We were all searching for something in the city of dreams. Slowly, they found love too. Sam found Katrina, Corey found Devyn, and Jake found Tara. But for me, love remained elusive. It was a nervous thought, something I longed for but couldn't seem to find. 
 
Running the pack was never something I aspired to do. It never interested me, yet my father persistently pushed me to take on that responsibility. But I wanted a different path. I enrolled in college, studying business management, with the hope of one day owning my own business. 
 
As I sit here in Los Angeles, reflecting on my childhood and my present, a somber feeling washes over me. The memories of a rough upbringing still linger, but they have shaped me into the person I am today. I hold onto the hope that one day I will find my path, my purpose, and maybe even love.