Sometimes, life feels like nothing.
You will have that certain point where you're constantly wishing you never reached that point of wishing. But what can a mere innuendo contribute to a life that already undergone change? What can a mere I wish contribute to how hooked up the ropes in pulling your mind down? Mind you, all you've got is a present. The reason why you should fight is your future.
It is crazy to have that thought process where you think life has ended just because a certain season of time was gone. It is crazy, you should laugh that mindset off. What I'm telling you is, if the damage was already done—even when you vilify yourself for it or keep on minding "I do not deserve that" —it was done. Done. You've got nothing to do with a done. If you can, maybe then you're a direct descendant of God.
It is nasty to recommend moving on. But can you see the irony behind?
You've got nothing to do with a done. It is nasty to recommend moving on.
Where then should you be situated? Can't you still see it? It's your present. It's today, your now. Sometimes we vilify ourselves too much for the past, more so, we lose hope for the future. But if you just sit, take a pause, and break the chain of commands and silence and pain and treason of heart then maybe. Just maybe— you can look ahead and see there's something more. More than you are from the past.
If you do not believe in the capability of mending through the Divine, or maybe even through yourself— then consider believing in the capacity of time. Maybe time can help you heal, maybe just by living to a phone call recorded by the time you're having it, you can find a cue to keep on going.
If everyone leaves you behind, if no one stays in your room of mending and changing for the better version of yourself, remind yourself that you are not their burden. Same as through to you. They are not your burden. You do not know what's also going on within them, so don't cling to someone who's struggling the same way you do. Even if it's not evident, remind yourself, you are not all-knowing to judge. If everyone leaves you behind, stay for yourself. Stay with time, it will bring about change.
If you are uncertain, unsure of what should be and what could be, in the battlefield you've got yourself. Like a lawyer defending a case, you can speak and correct and defend and break misconceptions about you. Maybe you're weak? Then so be it.
Be weak while showing up. Because through and through that act, you're the strongest for defending yourself.
