For others, 18 feels like a new chapter of their journey. But for people like us, 18 was the age of getting out of our cocoons, of changing and transitioning. Transition for the bad or for the good, whatever it is, 18 unfolded that to us.
It was something people like us find negativity about. The fact about changing scares us the most. We are too fulfilled in a young age to ask for more. We are okay with our state, we felt the best in our stage.
However, life just had this moment of prison we cannot escape. Perhaps, it offers us something that we should undergo, hoping that it was for the best. On the other hand, we also see that prison as a result of the things we did. Of the bad decisions we chose, of the past we put to end. So maybe right now, at 18 or at 20, 24, or 30s—you still have this guilt, this it could've been betters. Maybe right now, you're still 18. You still have those pain at 18. You can never let go of that 18.
Not everyone found the beauty of life at 18. For others, it was yet the most traumatizing age of their lives. But do you really know how it felt? Looking at the others having an entire different page than yours— do you know how it felt? They are blowing massive cakes, wearing the most elegant balloon dresses and you're not. They are successful and you're not. They have this unique relationship with God and you've got none. They post their remarkable achievements and you've got nothing. Of course, for some, it can be "oh I don't care", but just because some have the insecurities that you don't possess doesn't mean they are far different. It doesn't mean they are hungry for attention. It doesn't mean they wanted to be insecure.
The 18 we didn't get was enjoyment, was youth, was break, air, nature, happiness, calm heart, good relationship, opportunities, Divine, freedom, confidence, family, knowledge, independence, pure friends, time, and strong spirit.
At 18 we failed to be 18.
The good thing is, as we are still reading this book today, we can have that realization and take back those 18 things that was stripped away from us. We can still get it back, we can still win it through. You might ask how? and can I?
The manifestation that you still can is evident in your capability to process the pain in that age. Go back to the old building you're standing at during your 18th birthday, blow the same candle, undergo through it again, feel the traumas again, sob and cry again, but all of this is for the last time.
Look back, pick up the trash, discard, and off you can go again.
You'll not stay there again, never again.
