'So, we're friends now?'
The girl was suddenly stunned. It was her first day in college, and she promised herself she won't have another friend again. All the more, she just smiled. However, right after that day, she started packing her things, her emotions, and her fears, and sat far and miles away from that offer. She's in fear.
It was like an unpaid movie spritz, her traumas chased her until adulthood. Her nightmares are always fresh; like an unknown rope, it ties her neck extravagantly—she choked. Would they hate her more if all she can see are shame and sorrow she didn't even wanted?
It was night time, the night she got fired by bullets, by swords of words, the world seems to lash out—she cramped in a desperate attempt for nest. She had a fair share of mistakes, she loved a woman she shouldn't have loved. She made decisions that caused disturbance in disguise for kindness. But at that lonely and oh holy night, she was summoned to vacate her heart and fill it with grim. She was fed by words that a blink of concupiscence had brought forth.
And she felt,
useless. merciless. bad one. a bitch.
All the more, she had always been,
patient. understanding. slow. and shy.
She loved someone she shouldn't, so she was abused. She would be happy to be proven otherwise—but she felt, abused.
And that fairy tale, dear children, is what pushed Cinderella to prefer mouses and birds than Eve.
In friends, some might find rest and comfort. But not everyone—not us. In friends, although there were fantasies and good things, we find fear. And maybe that fear is not only because others did us bad, that fear can also be because we fear to do them bad.
how do we really become a good friend?
For other's case, the only way to find out is to never have one. Being good is a no-brainer, being a good friend is a talent. In which, we weren't blessed with.
We take cognizance of those who see us as ill-favored, we swallow the words of those who will criticize.
After all, we have been criticized, and we have also criticized, good enough.
