It is very ironic to picture that sometimes our supposed to be rest in our bed times becomes the most tiring part of the day.
How are you? Have nightmares been attacking you lately?
Last night, I dreamed about my dad being a serial killer. It is very unusual because in that dream, I cared about my dad so much. It is both a sad and a tragic feeling, because while I'm all awake, I daydream upon how can I feel that inner bond with my dad again.
In that certain dream, he was brutally killing men during night. This group of victims are convicts, corrupts, and criminals. Apparently, my dad was a public officer inside that scenario, the first thing that got into my mind was, my dad is positioning the law on his hands.
I was very scared. One time in that dream, as I was sleeping in a wooden couch, a convict hid below it. I can barely hear anything, my dad was professionally doing his thing in a very clear manner. I hardly shut my eyes down as I feel him pulling the man away from me to not let me hear anything. There and there, as soon as they got outside our house, I knew the man had turned lifeless.
I was scared. I was very scared. I'm flabbergasted I cried inside that scenario. Because in real life, I don't cry for my dad any longer.
It is both sad and tragic to think that my care and love is only encapsulated and limited inside my head. I don't want to show my father I still care, because only then I'm getting used because of that weakness. However, a small smile plastered on my lips when the sun broke on the heavens again, I saw my dad sleeping beside my mom, so dearly and gently, he was positioned there like a newborn.
Nothing beats the feeling of waking up from a bad dream. They say dreams and imaginations are ways of escape, but sometimes it turns out otherwise. Reality can also be our escape.
From the build up dreams you're torturing yourself into— that you will become a millionaire, you will get vengeance in your hands, you will be successful and show them no mercy. This is your cue to escape that torture in your head. Dreams can reach both spectrums equally, one for the bad and one for the good. But if you knew from the get go you were building a nightmare, not a dream, you should push yourself to have all your might and wake up. Escape.
It is beautiful when we face reality. It is fulfilling to discard the unnecessary feelings and revenge we kept our minds into.
This topic may have nothing to do with that certain dream I had in mind, but the only reason I'm telling you this is to never be a victim of your own mind. I dreamed about my dad in a bad light because maybe whenever I'm awake and have consciousness, I daydream of doing him negatively. Of never re-paying his hard-works and sacrifices, because from the very first place, he got me inside traumas and experiences I never deserved as her daughter.
Maybe I'm too focused on doing him bad. Maybe that dreams was there to make me realize there's still a good light in everything.
Maybe. Just maybe.
