The Ghost of You

Chapter 18 - Cai's POV

She asked me to tutor her. Tutor her with Maths. That's all I expected when I went to the music room after school that day. What I didn't expect was to find her crying and be at the end of her mental breakdown.

I thought she had everything together - she never gave me a reason to think she was going through something. However, like me, Saahar Dawson was broken. But, unlike me, it looked like she had been holding it in for a long time.

Standing there listening to her outburst reminded me of the first time I cried to Rio after my mother died. I cursed our friendship - blamed him for keeping me busy during the little time I had left with my mother.
I told him I would trade our friendship to have one more moment with my mother.
I told him I never saw him as my brother.

All those things and I expected him to leave but he didn't. Instead, he stood there and took it all. He never interrupted me, he never flinched- he just let me let it all out.

That's how I know Saahar was going through something. She reminded me so much of myself. So even after she stopped crying, I opted to wait for her to speak first. After all, I was there to listen, not to ask questions.

We had been in the music room for an hour, sitting in silence. Sharing a large bean bag with my arm over her small shoulders and her head resting calmly on my shoulder.

A position like that with Saahar was lethal. Knowing what I felt for her, I was treading on dangerous waters. As she was fighting back her tears, I was fighting my feelings. Even when my arm became sore, I didn't move - her comfort was more important than mine. Even when I knew I had to get to the Castillo mansion before Isa got back from ballet, I couldn't let my priorities get over Saahar's feelings.

After a while of silence, she leaned forward, hugging her knees. Come on, say something.

"What does it mean?" she finally said.

"What?" I replied. This was it. This was her finally talking to me. Her confiding in me. I was going to find out what was breaking her. This was Saahar Dawson finally trusting me.

"Canario" she murmured, "What does Canario mean?". Oh, well, guess I'm going to have to wait a little longer. I sat up with her, copying her position.

"A bird" I answered, "A little yellow bird". She arched her eyebrow unimpressed by my answer. "My mum once had a patient who lived in the Canary Islands and refused to fly to the mainland for his surgery. But, he only trusted my mum so, he paid for us to fly over to him. The villa we stayed at was next to this exotic bird sanctuary and my room faced where they kept the canary finch birds. They woke me up every morning with their loud chirping. They were tiny birds, honestly, you could probably squish one to death... not that I've considered doing it. But, they were tiny yet always the loudest thing in the room. Tiny, but I could never not notice them".

"Like me?" she smirked. I nodded as my cheeks began to go red. Even in a crowded room of people, I would always spot her first.

"You know I'm 5'6 right" she argued.

"So?".

"I'm over the average height for women; I'm not tiny".

"You're tiny to me".

"That's cause you're freakishly tall. What are they feeding you in Spain?". She rested her cheek on her knees as she faced me.

"So, you're mum's a surgeon?" she asked. I sat up, uneased by her question.

"Yeah" I responded, "She... is". Her knowing that Bruja wasn't my mother was enough, she didn't need to know the whole story.
Not yet.

"My mum's a surgeon too" she revealed. I nodded at her before standing still and waiting for her next move. I feared the next moment would either be the start of another thirty-minute silence or more questions about my life. I wanted to know about her life, not tell her about mine.