her last words ; lrh [ old ]

5

her last words // l.h

^^

::date::
10/7/

dear self,

i haven't been writing in the book as much because well i haven't been up to it.

my sister doesn't even look at me anymore and that's made me even more sad on so many levels.

anyway it's two in the morning and i can't be bothered sleeping i'm drawing on my wrists, it's not coming out red either.

today between the twenty fifth is something some one made up for people that
-self harm
-have depression
-anorexia
-that are suicidal
-have anxiety
-OCD
-dyslexia
-bipolar
-and there one for just support
for everyone of those things you draw a heart for everything you have, each one has a different colour. (picture at the top)

i'm just drawing them now.

i didn't cut yesterday and i'm trying not to cut today, i wanna stay at least a week clean without harming myself is anyway.

well i'm gonna go to sleep because it's three am now

night xx

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morning guys xx

i'm gonna take my book to school but i'm not gonna write in class because i don't want my teacher taking it again.

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it's recess now and no one has bothered me today so far.

everyone will probably come and annoying me soon, i'm gonna put my book away because some one might take it off me and read it.

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well people and when i mean people i mean... luke, ashton, michael and calum punched me.

luke punched me in the stomach really really hard, after five minutes when they finished i ran to the toilets and threw up but that doesn't count as me doing it though, luke did it..

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i'm home yay... no.

i tried talking to my sister but she just closed the door in my face, i miss her.

i just realised something this is what i did to my sister, i shut her out off my life and now she shutting me out.

i gave up after knocking on her door for a few minutes and just went to my room.

i know i said i wasn't gonna harm myself in anyway but i'm not eating dinner it's kinda like a habit now. not eating.

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it's eight thirty pm, i just got out of the shower my hairs still wet i couldn't be bothered to dye it.

after i got out of the shower i weighed myself, i haven't weighed myself in a while.

i weigh... 36.2.

(a/n; okay I'm always getting comments saying I weigh more or stuff like that. I just wanted to say your amazing, your size doesn't matter! i love all of you so fucking much. you ever need someone im always here for you guys)

i'm pretty sure i'm on the edge of dying but on well that's fine.

anyway night xx

^^

hello everyone¡

like this chapter if you want the next chapter to have a little POV =]

i'm actually doing the heart thing right now bc it's the 10th of July for me <3 hopefully you guys do it to but just for support.

i hate seeing people i love hurting themselves <3 love you all

follow me on instagram & twitter and maybe we could have a chat, comment below your twitters and instagrams and i'll follow back

instagram(s) - hyperlukey - grungemukey

twitter - hyperlukey

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ily ~Pizza