One reason about you

Chapter 3 , Dayla

,, It takes great courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to live it"
~ Oscar Wilde

Suddenly, the only person I didn't want to see appears next to me. At least not at the moment. Jace. what did he want from me? He thinks he's helpful, if he just sits and looks at me like a fool. Looking at him confused, trying to pretend that nothing is happening, he comes closer and says:
- Are you okay? I mean, I don't really think so, do you want me to stay with you until you feel better?
I had a pale face, even after all this, she still had the guts to behave like that. Maybe he feels guilty because he only wanted to have a fit girlfriend and nothing else. In an almost whispered voice, he says:
- I hope you're still angry, we're friends, right? Come on, I see you're better, we can forget everything
I was already not only bad but even worse. I wanted to get rid of him and forget everything. I finally started talking to him, with all my strength plus anxiety.
- I don't want to talk about it, better stay away from me ok? That's the best, it's not your problem how I feel, you can always find a girl better than me, as if to make fun of you, normal.....I took a breath, seeing how he look at me......it seems very embarrassing to talk about this right now, but you know just leave me alone.
I looked really weak, and I felt dizzy. He was looking at me without an expression, I could see that he didn't want to argue, but it wasn't my problem. For me, the feelings for him died a long time ago, I no longer had a connection with him. I hope he understand that. He started walking back to the high school yard where the beginning of the new school year in Ewvrny Art Hight School was started.

As fast as I could, I went to the place where I saw my class. I still had a lot of thoughts, would he be upset? I only told the truth, that's what I mean. I will leave everything in the past and focus on the present. I'll pretend nothing happened this morning. And everything will be fine. I slipped quickly, behind other students, trying to appear normal. Through my happiness I see Tina, how much I needed her. I don't know if I will tell her everything that happened. I don't think there would be any point. Finally, together again, after a summer that I thought would never end. Then I flashed a perfect smile, she jumped on me, hugging me with all her might. He hadn't changed much. The dwarf was also short, as we call ourselves. Long, darker blonde hair, green eyes and her smiling face as always. We didn't know how to start talking about all the possible things. It started with this:
- OK, I can't believe I see you, we have so much to tell, finally we will spend time together.
She had spoken so loudly that everyone was looking towards us, especially those next to us, Grigor, her ex-boy whom she liked madly, being the one she liked the most. I cried with her at once. It's not worth it . None. But that doesn't matter to us anymore. Especially for me. I will be proud again, I must. After a little silence, I started to add:
- Yes, I swear it will be much better, as long as we have time, it won't be bad at all, and Clar, normal, haven't you seen her? We were looking around
- No, not really, I looked for as the last desperate, especially you never answer at phone..... I thought you would dont come and leave me here alone, especially to hear the stories from Daisy's vacation, ew, that's enough, I saw her, sure, and sure she had with a lot of guys
- I'm sorry, I went to the bathroom and forgot my phone, how could I leave you alone
- Ahem, I still know.
We looked at each other and started laughing, we talked telepathically, we thought one hundred percent, Daisy how she fucks with all the stupid boys in Evwey.

I would have liked to talk to Clar as well, we became friends with her in the last months of high school last year. She wasnt t more friendless, and although we are not in the same class, in different ones, her class is more in bad taste, I would understand her. I started talking to her, me and Tina, and that's how we became very good friends. We say all kinds of crap to each other, apart from me, I don't tell almost anyone what is really happening in my life. He clearly has other preferences, she likes girls well and boys but less. She had very bad experiences with several girls. She doesn't deserve it either. It seems that's how all three of us got together. To resist pain. That's how I said damn love. I'm sure they will find it faster than me. But it's not all about love in the relationship. Love means more to me. That's why I'm not good at the other category. Again, damn love.

I was looking at the students who appeared, the same , not really changed. At least I felt better, I wanted to believe that everything would be even better. The high school principal had given a rather long speech, we were all pretty bored. My colleagues were whispering, Tina and I felt like we were dying of boredom, only this time. However, I felt that she wasn't that well either, she's like a sister to me already, I can feel her. The opening ceremony was over, our teacher led us to our new class. It was much different than the old one, it was to be expected. The back seats were occupied as usual by the boys, Luke, Martin, Barry, Ivan Oland. Daisy and Lyda in front of them. Me and Tina in the second. The rest of the girls, Andre, Gloria, Sarah, Clara, Marisa, Lara were sitting on the other side, at the window. Ally was alone, as usual. He was looking at me and Tina. He probably felt that he needed us, maybe it was too late. I'll try not to seem angry with her, just cold. Maybe you'll find out what happened to her. I promised myself that I wouldn't care. But it may be worth listening to.

- We will start in force from tomorrow. Six consecutive hours of drawing, we'll die, said Tina to me and Clar when we left the classrooms, it's class. He clearly said:
- Maybe you, tomorrow I only have normal hours, what boredom. However, at least now we will see each other daily, but a little bit by phone.
I confirmed that too. I was lost in thoughts again, I was happy, or so I thought. I can't understand what's wrong with me, I can't feel the happiness and security at once. And suddenly one person comes to my mind. The one I saw this morning, when I was feeling sick. He looked into my eyes, so intensely, examined me and then suddenly turned his gaze away. How strange. Did he know me? He is a classmates of Jace, maybe he heard that he was talking about me. Possible. I shouldn't care so much but why do I care to know why he was looking at me? The boy is strange. But in a way, it isn't. I woke up to reality Tina

- Heyoo, what about you? don't you say anything anymore? Clar continued:
- Yes, did something happen? It's ok, I was listening.
I love them, and I thank them for being by my side, but I promised them that I'm done with my thoughts about someone. I wanted to think that it's just in my mind for the moment and that's it. This will be the truth, I don't have the strength to care about anyone else.

- Oh, I'm fine, I was just thinking where to go, it's an honor to see you after so long, don't you think?
Both of them seemed to know that there was something wrong with me, but they confirmed it. I'm fine . I will be . I will find myself. I need. That person will disappear from the mind and everything related to the past.