Hopeless - (Bellamy Blake - Book 2)

Chapter 21

We make it back to the Ark after nightfall, all of us at our own pace.

Octavia is in the lead—talking to no one—followed by Clarke, Murphy, then Bellamy and I, and Finn brings up the rear. Bellamy keeps glancing back to ensure he is actually following us, and won't run off to avoid the consequences of his actions.

I don't bother telling him not to keep checking, Clarke is here and where she goes, he'll follow. Especially after everything he just did to try and get her back.

We stop only once for Bellamy to rest and for Clarke to change my bandage, the constant flow of blood seeping through both it and my pants. I tried to get Bellamy to go on alone, that Murphy or Finn could take over carrying me, but he refused, and picked me up again before either of the others could step forward.

Sometimes his stubbornness can really piss me off, other times, it only makes my feelings for him grow stronger.

I use the silent journey to try and contemplate the day and the actions that Finn, Murphy and I have taken.

Finn's actions are not justifiable at all...but, he was right when he mentioned Lincoln yesterday. I would have killed him if it meant saving Finn's life—heck, I did damn him to a death sentence when I sliced him with his own poisoned blade. But, that doesn't make my actions justifiable either, because I regret them now, especially knowing Lincoln and all he's done for us.

Finn only killed those people today because he thought Clarke's life was threatened, before that, he was willing to come home with us.

It makes me realise that we're all doing things to benefit ourselves—in our own fucked up ways—and affecting other people in the process.
Our war with the Grounders is a prime example of that.

The Mountain Men are the same. By farming other humans to take their blood for their own advantage, not caring about who that person is, not caring about whether they live or die...they're putting themselves above the lives of others. They're acting as if they are the superior people, when in fact...we are all just that...people.

We're all human beings who have had different upbringings, but that doesn't make one of us better than the other.

The Mountain Men's ancestors are the reason they can't survive outside, if they hadn't shut themselves away, then maybe their bodies would have evolved just like the Grounders' did. 
I agree that they deserve a chance at survival, it's why we are here, after all, because the Ark was failing.

I think the Council did the wrong thing sending us delinquents down here, I understand their motive, their plan, but even if things had gone according to their fucked up plan, it was a cruel thing to put us through.

The Mountain Men have no right to use and take the lives of others just to aid them. To ensure their people live on, at no expense of others.

I think back to Finn, my childhood best friend...he has never once acted like this, not even when things got bad back at the Dropship camp. He always tried to keep calm and think of a different solution to violence.

The only person he's ever killed, would be that Grounder who attacked us during the fight, when we were trying to get Raven some medicine from Lincoln. Even then, that was in self defence.

I don't know, maybe this just proves how much he loves Clarke...and love can make someone do crazy things.

My only concern now is how he'll overcome this within himself. Taking a person's life eats you up inside, I would know...but shooting down dozens of innocents the way he did...and not stopping at all...

"Hey," Bellamy says quietly. "We're almost there."

I look up from where I rested my head against his chest, and sure enough, the Ark is there in all its glory. Giant lights help guide our way out of the tree-line and towards the looming structure, the fence surrounding it manned by guards all along the perimeter.

Shouting voices sounds from within the compound, announcing our return.

Clarke caught us up on the rest of her journey escaping Mount Weather, on how she rescued the Grounder Commander from the blood farm and escaped with her, playing a game of your-my-prisoner with each other. Honestly, it's no wonder she looks like crap after everything she's been through the past few days, and walking up to the Ark station with her now, I can't help but wonder how relieved, then terrified she must have been to have done this with Anya, then to have her shot dead right before her.

Our one chance at securing a truce with the Grounders, at rallying together to get all of our people out of Mount Weather...I can understand why she's so hesitant about being back here.

I did question why we were bothering to go back to the Ark so soon, why we weren't just making our way over to Mount Weather now and getting our friends out of there...but both Bellamy and Clarke—the rational ones—argued that we aren't prepared enough. That we need more man power and a proper plan to assist us with this.

That, and my current situation would only make things worse.

"Clarke!" We all slow down at the sight of Abby Griffin marching through the front gate of Camp Jaha and grabbing her daughter by her arms. "What the hell were you thinking?! I gave you a strict—"

"I know, mom." Clarke cuts her off and shakes off her grip. "But I needed to find my friends." She gestures to me, "Carter needs help. She was stabbed in the leg."

Abby whips her gaze to me, being held in Bellamy's arms. "Carter, what happened?"

"Uh, there...was a shooting," I start, not knowing how to finish. "Someone attacked me."

"I thought you said Grounders don't use guns." Abby looks at us all.

A tense silence hangs over us, and I suddenly regret saying anything, but it's Octavia that says, voice laced with venom, "They don't."

"O." Bellamy warns her.

"I did it." I startle at Finn's confession, but he simply steps forward, face set in stone. "I shot and killed Grounders from a nearby village. I thought they had Clarke there."

I keep my gaze on the ground. Hearing him say it...

Abby stares at him, blinks, then says to the guard beside her, "Major Byrne, take him for questioning. Carter, let's get you to medical."

Bellamy starts walking again, giving me no choice but to comply since I'm in his arms.

He walks slowly through the gates, clearly getting tired, and I try my best to ignore the stares of everyone gathered around. Oh god, if my mom were to see me now...

"Chris? Oh my God, what happened?!"

Raven rushes over, as fast as she can manage with her lame leg, and looks at all of us until her gaze locks onto Finn being escorted by two guards.

"What's going on?" She questions. "Where are they taking Finn?"

"We'll fill you in." Bellamy nods at her. She nods back, and manages to keep pace with us on our way to the medical tent.

"Are you okay?" She asks me quietly, eyeing up my bandaged thigh.

"Yeah." I reply. "I—"

"Raven." Abby cuts me off. "You can talk to Carter later. Right now, I need to examine her."

I catch Raven's eye, but don't linger as she stops walking, and Bellamy carries me the rest of the way over to the medical tent.