Hopeless - (Bellamy Blake - Book 2)

Chapter 26.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're avoiding me."

I look up from my second cup of moonshine, and into the soft brown eyes of my mother.

Murphy had left a short while ago, leaving me stewing in my misery alone. Until now.

"Mom," I sigh. "I'm-I'm not avoiding you—"

"What the hell happened?" She demands, taking a seat beside me and looking down with wide eyes to my crutches, leaning beside me. "Are you hurt?"

"Yeah." I nod. "I was...stabbed." I cringe at what is to follow.

"Stabbed?!" She shouts, leaning closer to me and taking my hands in hers. "Chrissy—"

"But I'm fine." I rush out. "Dr Griffin helped me. I'm okay."

She shakes her head at me, looking at me as if I'm a stranger to her...and I suddenly realise that I am. And she hadn't noticed it until now.

"You can't go out there anymore." She whispers. "It isn't safe."

"I know." I nod. "I know it isn't, but when the time comes, I'll have to. I have to save my friends."

"You can let the guards do that."

I scoff. "Yeah, 'cause they've done such a good job so far."

"Christine." She snaps, causing me to flinch. Not only at her tone, but at the name. "You listen to me. I do not want you to go out there anymore. The guards or anyone else can find your friends." She squeezes my hands as she whispers, "I can't lose you again."

I clench my jaw and blink away tears that start to form. With a small nod, I say, "Okay. Alright."

I've lied to her before, I can do it again.

Mom releases a breath. "Alright." She nods. "Now," she smiles a little, trying to lighten the mood, "why don't you tell me what's been happening? About your time on Earth?"

I cringe. That's the last thing I want to talk about, especially with her.

"Uhm," I try to smile at her. "Why don't you finish your story first? You were telling me about your medication—it's helped, I can see that. And your...friend? The doctor, is he here?"

Mom's smile drops slightly. "No. I haven't seen him. I think he was in another station when we deployed."

I think back to the station wreckage we saw a few days ago. "Hopefully you'll see him again."

"I'm sure he's fine." She smiles. I nod, and try to smile back. "So, where's your, uh, Bellamy?"

She voices his name as a question, hoping she got it right.

"He's not mine." I say abruptly. "And he's not here. He's gone on an expedition with Finn and a few others." I shuffle in my seat.

"Oh." Mom watches me closely, and is probably questioning my change in demeanour around his name. "Well-"

"I don't wanna talk about him." It comes out quicker and harsher than I intend.

Mom nods slowly. "Then tell me something else. Just...talk to me. I haven't heard your voice in four years, I—" She suddenly gasps, causing me to startle.

"What?" I ask quickly. "Mom—"

"It's your birthday soon!" She exclaims, her hands grabbing mine again as she beams. "You'll be eighteen. Oh my gosh—Chrissy, I've dreamed of this for so long."

I relax, then shake my head. "It's no big deal."

"Don't be silly." She practically laughs. "We have to celebrate. Not only are we together again but we're on Earth. It's an incredible opportunity."

"I...don't think a party is fitting for the occasion." I say slowly. "Not with everything happening."

"Why, what's happening?" She suddenly frowns.

"Uh..." I try not to frown as well. "Everything with the Grounders and Mountain Men? I just don't want a fuss."

"Oh...of course." She nods, and I eye her curiously.

Was she not aware of everything going on? Abby said they were updating the people do the Ark with every major development.

Mom continues, "Well, we can do something, just us. Maybe some of your friends too? Finn and Raven?"

I stiffen, but try to shake it off and nod, for her sake. "Yeah. Sure."

Mom grins, and I stare at her as she rambles on about what we can do to celebrate, before reminiscing on past birthday's of mine.

As I watch and listen to her, I try not to think too much on whether or not she really is better. She's coherent, which is great, but...when she talks, it's like she's somewhere else.

I watch her, smiling and nodding as she talks and talks and talks.

And when she looks up at me with complete seriousness in her eyes, and asks if I want my father to make me another picture frame like the one he made me when I was seven...my smile drops.

Maybe she isn't as well as I thought.